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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think bums should be covered in a public pool?

587 replies

Whatkatyforgottodo · 26/01/2025 16:21

I may be being unreasonable and I’m just old and out of touch… took my kids swimming today at our local public pool and there was a lady wearing one of those swimming costumes that is basically a thong at the back? I saw lots of them in the beach during the summer which I kind of understand as it helps you get a very high cut tan/eliminates tan lines but I felt a bit weird seeing one in an indoor pool? Not sure where boundaries lie…? Happy to be told IABU but wondered what others think?

OP posts:
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Frowningprovidence · 26/01/2025 18:31

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:25

@Beeloux Speedos are absolutely fine swimwear for a man to wear.

I believe in France they are compulsory in some public pools.

Not thong ones. The french pools arent full of men in thongs.

I did see an older man in a gold thong speedo at my local pool once but that's the only time I've ever seen one and i hope to never see it again to be honest. It's somehow odder than just being naked.

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 18:31

I don’t think people stare because it looks nice! Only a narc would assume people stare because it’s ‘attractive’

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:31

@Beeloux to be fair I have never seen a thong speedo for a man and don't dare google to see if they exist.

PurpleDiva22 · 26/01/2025 18:30

PinkTonic · 26/01/2025 18:16

I have unfortunately copped an unexpected eyeful of undercarriage due to a thong bikini with an inadequate gusset and an unfortunately positioned sunbed.

People saying normal pants are uncomfortable round the legs, are you buying the right size? It’s not easy to believe that a string rubbing between your buttocks all day is less uncomfortable than the non restrictive leg holes of a high leg short style.

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Yes I am buying the right size. I just don't find it comfortable where they sit. You don't have to find them comfortable, you don't have to wear them if you don't want to. I find them more comfortable. Thankfully different cuts and styles exist so we can all find something we each find comfortable to wear!

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:30

@Yogaatsunrise The poll does not state that people think 'they are grim' - that is your own unique take

BeansOnRoast · 26/01/2025 18:29

Dontlletmedownbruce · 26/01/2025 17:52

But that's exactly what they want isn't it? It's doing them a favour really. They need people to look at their exposed bum to feel validated as a person, so give them what they want. They go home feeling good about themselves because they believe we are all admiring them, it doesn't occur to them that most people see them as attention seeking and egocentric and lacking self esteem.

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Lol nope. Focus on yourselves and stop looking and judging other women. It says a lot about you all than it ever will about the women you're judging.

Beeloux · 26/01/2025 18:29

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:25

@Beeloux Speedos are absolutely fine swimwear for a man to wear.

I believe in France they are compulsory in some public pools.

I agree but a thong speedo I would find very inappropriate in a leisure centre swimming pool.

SerafinasGoose · 26/01/2025 18:28

I couldn't even bring myself to care. Nor do I care about women breastfeeding in public, or getting their kit off in a women's only changing-room. Ten to one I wouldn't even notice.

The human body isn't taboo or disgusting. There's a lot to be said for minding your own business and letting other people mind theirs.

MintTwirl · 26/01/2025 18:28

Yeah I find it inappropriate and unnecessary at an indoor public pool.
There was a lady wearing a thong bikini when we were at the pool at a Haven holiday park.I’m not generally a pearl clutcher but it just seemed out of place and attention seeking.

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 18:28

82% of people seem to agree they are grim…the vast majority.

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:27

@PickleBranst We all need to learn to cope with seeing things we don't like.

This includes your husband and any teenage boys.

I would inform your husband and any sons you have that their eyes and neck move.
It is important to explain to people the difference between looking and staring.

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 18:27

Some haven’t had the best wax in the world and we can even see that, as well as the random lumps. It’s deeply deeply unpleasant. TMI.

DeffoNeedANameChange · 26/01/2025 18:26

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 26/01/2025 18:23

"On a related note, reach your DC that it's rude to comment on other people's bodies/clothing."

It's not commenting on people's bodies, it's kids recognising something that's outside of societal norms. I think it's important that children know what's outside of normal so they can recognise potentially harmful situations. People showing what's usually considered a private part of their body should be okay for children to talk about.

I absolutely agree with this - you've put it better than I did.

NormaleKartoffeln · 26/01/2025 18:26

A thong is fine for the beach but I'd prefer not to see arse cheeks at a public pool tbh.

MatildaTheCat · 26/01/2025 18:26

Tooty78 · 26/01/2025 18:11

We went to a popular spa last year, in the hamam there was a couple and the girl had a bikini thong on. It ramped up as her and her bloke were in the experience shower and were indulging in a a VERY pda (hands on her bare bum.) The shower is in the middle of the room, so everyone had a ringside seat, and didn't know where to look!!! I was worried the bloke would have his own 'experience '

Another bloke was filming on his phone in the hamam which struck me as very intrusive and creepy.

I did complain to the front desk, and asked why are phones allowed in the spa?

Why on why can't people behave in a considerate way?

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At our DL spa phones are supposed to be banned but it isn’t enforced. Cameras definitely are banned but it’s not difficult to use your camera while pretending to do something else.

I asked a woman to stop using her camera on a video call in the women’s locker room- all open plan. She looked very irritated by that. I mentioned it at the desk but honestly DL don’t care. All they want is more members and more cash flowing in.

PickleBranst · 26/01/2025 18:26

Yanbu. It's very uncomfortable when you have kids there or your partner (to a lesser extent). Decent men don't want to be confronted with bum cheeks in a public area. I feel especially sorry for teenage boys.

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:25

@Beeloux Speedos are absolutely fine swimwear for a man to wear.

I believe in France they are compulsory in some public pools.

MugsyBalonz · 26/01/2025 18:25

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 26/01/2025 18:23

"On a related note, reach your DC that it's rude to comment on other people's bodies/clothing."

It's not commenting on people's bodies, it's kids recognising something that's outside of societal norms. I think it's important that children know what's outside of normal so they can recognise potentially harmful situations. People showing what's usually considered a private part of their body should be okay for children to talk about.

It's not outside of societal norms, it's a swimsuit at a swimming pool and it is rude to comment on what other people are wearing/what they look like.

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:24

@Yogaatsunrise Again you make assumptions about everyone else.

You can only ever speak for yourself unless you have conducted and published research on the matter. Have you?

MugsyBalonz · 26/01/2025 18:24

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 18:23

We are all saying what everyone else is thinking btw.

I can guarantee you're not.

Seedy pornography and prostitution? Those are not normal thoughts.

Beeloux · 26/01/2025 18:24

I’m in my twenties but still think it’s disgusting and creepy that woman would wear them to a kids leisure pool.
Imagine the uproar if a man wore a thong speedo there. Most likely would be branded a nonce!

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 26/01/2025 18:23

"On a related note, reach your DC that it's rude to comment on other people's bodies/clothing."

It's not commenting on people's bodies, it's kids recognising something that's outside of societal norms. I think it's important that children know what's outside of normal so they can recognise potentially harmful situations. People showing what's usually considered a private part of their body should be okay for children to talk about.

DeffoNeedANameChange · 26/01/2025 18:23

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:19

@DeffoNeedANameChange “How naked is too naked?” is a question that frequently arises as temperatures soar. Naked yoga was seen to be the latest trend at Glastonbury festival this year and research conducted by the British Naturism organisation suggests that more Britons are going naked than ever before. But what are the legal boundaries when it comes to public nudity?

The law -
Firstly, it is not an offence to be naked in public in England and Wales. However, it can become an offence if it can be proven that the naked individual caused harassment, alarm or distress to another person. In the absence of any sexual context and intention to cause alarm and distress – being naked in public is within the law.

https://www.kingsleynapley.co.uk/insights/blogs/criminal-law-blog/public-nudity-staying-within-the-law

It's very murky water though (excuse the pun). If a man were to be naked in a public swimming pool, I would 100% assume it was a sexually motivated power play. See also, men being naked in women's changing rooms.

I guess my real point is that dodgy behaviour should always stand out a mile. And if we as a society keep pushing the boundaries of "socially acceptable", then "socially unacceptable" becomes much harder to prove.

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:23

@ChicLilacSeal You can feel however you feel but you have no right to dictate anyone else's choices other than your own or comment on them.

The law does not agree with you.

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 18:23

We are all saying what everyone else is thinking btw.