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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think bums should be covered in a public pool?

587 replies

Whatkatyforgottodo · 26/01/2025 16:21

I may be being unreasonable and I’m just old and out of touch… took my kids swimming today at our local public pool and there was a lady wearing one of those swimming costumes that is basically a thong at the back? I saw lots of them in the beach during the summer which I kind of understand as it helps you get a very high cut tan/eliminates tan lines but I felt a bit weird seeing one in an indoor pool? Not sure where boundaries lie…? Happy to be told IABU but wondered what others think?

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Peeeet · 26/01/2025 19:24

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 19:10

Maybe if you had to endure this you would feel the same! It’s just you can’t see as it is your arse - I could see pubic bum hair, the actual inside of her arse, spots and a scab and it was so GRAPHIC.

We had to get up and move. As did some other people, It is too much. I felt violated.

You saw the inside of her arse? Did you have a speculum?

Peeeet · 26/01/2025 19:22

I don’t see the problem, ‘normal’ swimsuits can reveal a lot of bumcheek too! The ammount of- I assume- women using pretty misogynistic language to insult other women for wearing clothes they don’t like is much grosser than seeing a bit of bum imo

SnidelyWhiplash · 26/01/2025 19:22

We were in St Lucia last year. 2 young woman at our hotel had thong bikinis on every day. They had perfectly, peachy arses that they clearly worked on to make them really big, as is the fashion. I just felt it was a bit weird seeing their entire arses all the time. It’s not a good look, even on the young and nubile. 🤷‍♀️

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 19:18

@PinkTonic I disagree that seeing someone's skin is harmful, even if there are spots, scabs and hair on it.

I also disagree that it has become fashionable for people to wear skimpy bikinis - bikinis have been popular for quite a long time and have changed shape many times over the years.

Juliagreeneyes · 26/01/2025 19:18

I don’t want to see any arses on display in a hotel pool with my kid and small nephews and nieces - or a tacky cleavage-exposing string bikini either. Fine on a beach somewhere hot or in an adults’ resort or hotel. Not fine in a family area or pool. Stayed in a hotel recently with extended family and there was a teenage couple all over each other snogging and petting in the pool at family swim time. He was in baggy Bermudas, fondling away, and she had almost every body part on display and kept hoicking bits of it all up as every bit was falling off her body! Not a family-friendly sight.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 26/01/2025 19:17

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 19:10

Maybe if you had to endure this you would feel the same! It’s just you can’t see as it is your arse - I could see pubic bum hair, the actual inside of her arse, spots and a scab and it was so GRAPHIC.

We had to get up and move. As did some other people, It is too much. I felt violated.

What do you mean “the actual inside of her arse”? And are spots, and hair, and scabs ok on other skin areas? So the objection is that it is bottom skin?

As I said, I do have thong/brazilian underwear and swimwear and I would chose when to wear that with some consideration if other people, thinking about where I will be and what I’ll be doing. But as I asked you before, why do you have so much judgement around other people’s bodies? Where does that come from?

ClairDeLaLune · 26/01/2025 19:15

ThriveIn2025 · 26/01/2025 16:44

Oh and I had to shush my son from saying “butt cheeks” repeatedly.

😂😂😂

Don’t think I’d have bothered shushing him!

JustMyView13 · 26/01/2025 19:14

To everyone who is disgusted at thongs on the beach / by the pool…

What are your thoughts on men with bigger than a B cup breasts walking around with their breasts & nipples exposed? Like, zero bra or top covering them.
Particularly when their breasts are hairy.

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 19:10

Maybe if you had to endure this you would feel the same! It’s just you can’t see as it is your arse - I could see pubic bum hair, the actual inside of her arse, spots and a scab and it was so GRAPHIC.

We had to get up and move. As did some other people, It is too much. I felt violated.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 26/01/2025 19:09

Thisisthemomentforchange · 26/01/2025 16:35

Tbh I have a real issue with the hygiene of thongs.
I wouldn't want to swim in a swimming pool where people were going in the water wearing thong type swim wear.

I know realistically people urinate in pools and thats bad enough but the thought of people swimming without their bums being covered repulses me.

What on earth has wearing a thong got to do with hygiene!?

OhcantthInkofaname · 26/01/2025 19:08

PurpleDiva22 · 26/01/2025 16:48

Because I find them more comfortable than standard bikini bottoms.

Sure they are!

PinkTonic · 26/01/2025 19:07

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:55

@Yogaatsunrise You are now becoming immensely rude and hyperbolic.

No-one is invalidating your choice. No one is forcing you to wear a thong swim suit.

You seem to think your dislike should dictate what other people do - it doesn't

You really need to deal with other people's choices and to look away from things you don't like.

You really need to deal with other people's choices and to look away from things you don't like

I disagree with this premise generally. We don’t just have to deal with other people’s choices if they are harmful. Specifically to the subject of the thread, it has now become fashionable to display body parts on the beach that only recently would not have been seen by anyone except an intimate partner or medical practitioner. I can look away, but I’m not prepared to ignore the impact that normalising this has on young girls.

Preciousmoments18 · 26/01/2025 19:07

When DH & I are on a sunbed & we see a bare bum walking past all we do is laugh 😅

ISpyNoPlumPie · 26/01/2025 19:02

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 18:50

I don’t think it’s unkind, it’s my opinion. That’s what I think when I see them. It’s about decency and self respect. If you want people to get a full view of your arse crack that is a matter for you. I find it revolting seeing your innards quite frankly. It’s an imposition because there isn’t a choice, and it’s kind of violating my choice.

Your quotes:
“They look horrendous”
“They remind me of baboons”
“It looks like they are trying to flog their wares”
“I associate them with seedy pornography and prostitution”
“Attention seeking and inappropriate”
“It’s deeply deeply unpleasant”
“They are grim”
“Only a narc would assume people stare because it’s ‘attractive’”

No, you’re right, you’ve been a gem. Nothing unkind there.

You can’t see anyone’s innards. And what choice of yours is someone violating when they wear a thong? Have you ever wondered why you feel like this about other people? Does it bother you a lot day to day, week to week? I can’t really understand what’s driving this disgust and loathing.

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 19:01

@Yogaatsunrise Of course you can look away.

The world is not made to reflect what you want/don't want. You have to live with other people's choices and they have to live with yours.

YOU think it's grim. YOU think it's awful. It's your opinion, not fact.

Doyouthinktheyknow · 26/01/2025 19:01

Yanbu, I am old but I don’t like it at all, even on a beach! Currently on a cruise and have seen too much of a couple of bums today🫣

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 19:00

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:55

@Yogaatsunrise You are now becoming immensely rude and hyperbolic.

No-one is invalidating your choice. No one is forcing you to wear a thong swim suit.

You seem to think your dislike should dictate what other people do - it doesn't

You really need to deal with other people's choices and to look away from things you don't like.

I can’t look away if someone is sitting opposite or in the pool with my children. I don’t want that inflicted on me. Or anyone else. It’s so utterly grim. It’s just awful.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 26/01/2025 18:58

IAmADescendantOfSweepTheSqueakyLegend · 26/01/2025 18:38

They just kept slapping their arses? Whenever they wanted, a random slap?

Yes, constantly! We followed for about 10 mins.

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:57

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:57

@Wemaybebetterstrangers It's great that some sportswomen have a choice now (not all unfortunately)

However you should note that some teams still chose to wear the bikini bottoms - and that was a valid choice too.

Agree 💯.

SnidelyWhiplash · 26/01/2025 18:57

I agree with you. I don’t want to see them anywhere, indoor pool or outdoors.

I just don’t want to see an entire arse.

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:57

@Wemaybebetterstrangers It's great that some sportswomen have a choice now (not all unfortunately)

However you should note that some teams still chose to wear the bikini bottoms - and that was a valid choice too.

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:55

@Yogaatsunrise You are now becoming immensely rude and hyperbolic.

No-one is invalidating your choice. No one is forcing you to wear a thong swim suit.

You seem to think your dislike should dictate what other people do - it doesn't

You really need to deal with other people's choices and to look away from things you don't like.

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:54

BeansOnRoast · 26/01/2025 18:45

Religion? That is steeped in sexism and misogyny? 🤣 Oh dear!

Interesting conclusion 😂🙈

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:53

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:41

@Wemaybebetterstrangers I didn't say he did

However he did reveal his body in his chosen career.

So if he was telling his daughters that they should cover up when he had in fact spent his life not doing so he was being a sexist hypocrite.

No. He was a sports person. Had they been sports women I’m sure he wouldn’t have said don’t wear your sports kit. Totally different. False equivalence.

JessiesJ99 · 26/01/2025 18:52

shuggles · 26/01/2025 17:57

@Dontlletmedownbruce And butt cheeks are OK now but only for women, a tiny string covering the middle part. Why cant men do this too?

Because seeing a man's hairy arse is absolutely disgusting and I do not believe for a second that you actually want what you are asking for.

Edited

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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