To think bums should be covered in a public pool?

Except recently, there was somebody at my local pool in the sauna with very brief briefs and a massive stiffie.

Modelling behaviour to young people that it’s perfectly normal and fashionable to publicly display parts of women’s bodies that are normally only seen by sexual partners or their gynaecologist is part of porn culture and is harmful. If you don’t understand that I can’t help.

Yes, obviously so. But women are the more oppressed sex class, and so social expectations of the sexes tend to be in the greater service of men. HTH x

Okay, some do, quite a lot don’t you know.

If it were okay to make any choice why do you think they dress so similarly so much of the time? Same goes for haircuts etc. I haven’t seen a teen girl in a pixie cut in an age. It’s the fashion I know, but you are mistaken if you think there is no pressure to follow it.

I clicked yabu in horror, and in error, at the unreasonableness of that kind of cossie in a public pool. You are definitely not being unreasonable.

Yes. They are much more conformist than women when it comes to dress (on the whole). There choices very much reflect social convention.

So unsightly in your opinion. Does everyone need to look not “unsightly” to you at all times? How will we know if you find us to be unsightly? Is it just thong swimwear you find to be unsightly? What about gym wear, mini skirts, crop tops? What do you think about male clothing? Is any of that unsightly?

I think you need to look at yourself a little deeper. Just responding - it looks unsightly doesn’t really get to the root of the issue. The only person I know who would share your opinions has a huge amount of shame about their own body that they project onto others. I’m not really “into full nudity” but wouldn’t be averse in the correct context. I don’t feel ashamed of my body, it’s just a body.

And thongs might cross the public decency line for you in all(?) contexts but they don’t for a lot of people in certain situations. So you have to live with it as I’m sure you do, but wouldn’t it be nice to live without all of that disgust and loathing inside if you. The only person it hurts is you.

We a know that people don’t always make completely free choices in life. Feeling you have to wear either porny outfits or cover your head to fit in with male-pleasing socially dominant ideas of what women should be are no different from each other.

We all know that — barring the few posters who always pop up on this kind of thread to swear that thongs are the most comfortable thing ever and they would never wear them themselves (hardly representative of most women) — that thong bottoms are hideously uncomfortable and unhygienic. Thong swimwear - all polyester plastic - is not what the vast majority of women would choose to wear for practicality or comfort. You can literally see the discomfort when young women are wearing them by the pool! Restrictive, designed for posing, porny and liable to pop off at a moment’s notice. There’s a reason why women who aren’t susceptible to youth fashion trends don’t wear them.

Let’s be real and dial down on the unconvincing “choice feminism” for a moment - young women in particular would not be wearing these porny looks if there wasn’t a porn culture more widely in society. And women wouldn’t be covering their heads if they weren’t mandated to by male religious cultures. Every culture in the world where women have become legally and socially more emancipated, and religion has declined as a social force, has stopped mandating head coverings for women. Women don’t actually want to cover themselves when they have the option not to.

That doesn’t mean that women don’t feel they have to conform to different forms of the male gaze and the expectations of male sexuality.

No.

Attention-seeking?

It's quite infantalising to suggest young women can't make their own clothing choices.

Is this also true for men?

@Mapandthermos I have never felt pressured into wearing fashionable clothes.

The young women I know have generally had enough confidence and support from confident women in their lives to make their own choices.

So for all those thinking thong bikinis are normal, it’s just a bum, more comfortable etc - would you be happy if your 10yr old DD decided she wanted to wear one?

I’m not old but I agree they’re not appropriate. High cut swimming costumes are designed for sun lounging, not actual swimming, and it just seems like a recipe for a pool full of people getting an unwanted eyeful at 4.30pm on a Tuesday.

@PinkTonic You state : "I disagree with this premise generally. We don’t just have to deal with other people’s choices if they are harmful."

That's what you said - I replied that seeing skin is not harmful.

I just don't understand why anyone wants to do serious swimming in shorts going halfway down to their knees.

What exactly is harmful in normalising wearing what you want to young girls?

@user1471538275
They don’t wear what they want though…they’re pressurised into wearing what’s fashionable. They may not even be aware of the pressure, but it’s not free choice at all.

It hasn't moved on to why it's not acceptable to dislike anything.

It has stuck with the point that it is not acceptable to state that someone's personal clothing choices are disgusting, grim, pornified, seeking attention.

These are negative personal judgments. Keep them in your own head.

I haven’t mentioned spots, scabs and hair. I haven’t said seeing skin is harmful. I wear bikinis on holiday. I am not criticising less than ‘perfect’ bodies

It is definitely the case that bikinis which display the buttocks, and often the groin and two thirds of the mons pubis are a relatively recent innovation. I believe this is a harmful example to young girls. I also don’t find it believable that comfort is a factor in the choice to wear them and you should know that if you do wear them, if you bend over or don’t keep your legs together when changing position, the general public may see more than is reasonable to share with total strangers.

It's seems the thread has moved on to why it's not acceptable to dislike thong swimsuits now... But fwiw, I saw my first one ever at Splash Landings (Alton Towers waterpark) a couple of years ago.

Youngish woman and her boyfriend strolled into the kids area and she had a thong swimsuit on. Didn't think it was necessary 🤷🏻‍♀️

What exactly is harmful in normalising wearing what you want to young girls?

I think young girls should see a wide range of different clothing choices and choose for themselves.

Do you think they come to any harm seeing religious dress that covers a woman's face, head or body or do you see that as a positive message to give them? I personally don't like seeing this but acknowledge it's not my choice to make.

Naked, skimpy, risque, fashion forward, conservative, modest, very modest, full cover - it is all a woman's choice to make for herself.

Because of the way it looks. It’s so unsightly. I consider someone’s actual arse crack to be no different to a vagina or penis on full display. It’s private and deeply personal. You might be into full nudity etc and not care about unwanted views of crusty arse cracks. It’s really disgusting for most people.

There are some things I just don’t want to see other humans do. Defecating, having sex, urinating. lying there with their whole arse on display warts and all. It’s called public decency and thongs cross the line into that territory for me.

I would judge a man for wearing a thong too…

Right, I’m all for body positivity, but those thong swimsuits and bikinis are only designed to look “sexy” in a porny way, basically. We all know they aren’t comfortable or hygienic or anything girls would wear for practical reasons, if not for the pressure to look sexy/porny. So they basically are all about normalising a porn-inspired look for young women. Fashion swimwear always has been, and is now really incontrovertibly so. And I don’t like that being normalised either in general for young women, or especially not for young kids and my DD in particular.

I’m not old nor out of touch and I agree.
Mind you, I heavily judge people who go to the shops in their PJs/big fluffy dressing gowns too