Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming

311 replies

ArchesOfWisteria · 26/01/2025 15:32

In my mid 40s I have lost the urge to remove body hair much, particularly in winter. If anything I find it’s better for my skin, no rashes or bumps under my arms, less sweating under my arms. Easier with sensitive skin.

I kind of presumed that no one cares that much- I certainly don’t care if other people have a preference to wax completely or not shave at all.

I went swimming with an acquaintance and she seemed shocked, a bit horrified even, at my legs. I stated I am comfortable, made a light joke my husband is supportive. But she brought it up again like it’s a big deal. ‘Especially as you are so fair skinned with black hair’ was her last comment (I am, not particularly super hair, average but with black hair).

Are other women actually bothered about shaving when it comes to others? Do you notice? I don’t in the pool! Obviously we all have our personal preferences for our own bodies, but does this for extend to being in anyway affronted by what another woman does. She stated hers is the typical view, but I may have more ‘European’ standards.

For context, if anyone askes, I’m quite average in most ways. Healthy weight, clean hair and clothing etc.

yanbu- I’m not really that bothered about what others do, as long as I can exercise my own personal freedom without comment

yabu- I think it’s a bit yucky on others and I do judge natural body hair in the pool

OP posts:
Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 19:11

BeaAndBen · 26/01/2025 19:08

If you say risible things, you will get risible reactions.

I'd rather have hairy legs and nice friends than poor grammar and nasty comments, personally.

So because I have a different opinion to others Its ok to comment on my grammar and for other posters to put laughing faces on every comment. When did we get to a point that anytime someone doesn't agree with you they get to be nasty.

HollyKnight · 26/01/2025 19:10

I couldn't care less about what other people do to their bodies. I doubt I would even notice someone's hairy legs. I'm too lazy and forgetful to shave. I have an IPL hair removal machine so I only need to zap myself roughly every 6 months. I can manage that.

ThatsNotMyTeen · 26/01/2025 19:09

I swim several times a week and rarely shave my legs. I am dark haired but my leg hair is finer and slower growing now I am in my 50s. Don’t do armpits or bikini line either. My swimwear is like cycling shorts length bottoms and t shirt style top (but swimsuit material). A lot of the men who go swimming are like gorillas so they’d have a nerve to find a hairy leg offensive!

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 26/01/2025 19:08

I'm totally for normalising women's natural bodies. Sometimes I shave my legs sometimes I don't and bollocks to what anyone else thinks. My DP is fully supportive of this too and has never once made me feel any less attractive for it.

BeaAndBen · 26/01/2025 19:08

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 19:02

So your just going to do this on every comment

If you say risible things, you will get risible reactions.

I'd rather have hairy legs and nice friends than poor grammar and nasty comments, personally.

PeskyPotato · 26/01/2025 19:06

In my teens and 20's I would have judged you and thought you gross and unhygienic.

40's now and rarely shave myself and wouldn't notice.

Fencehedge · 26/01/2025 19:06

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 19:02

So your just going to do this on every comment

Give me time, I'm in the middle of dinner! But my emoji doesn't really need explaining, does it? Yes I find it amusing that you would be 'shocked' if a friend didn't shave, to the point that you would have to say something. The only person I know vaguely like this has massive amounts of internalised misogyny about 'womanhood', and is ridiculous.

CrowleyKitten · 26/01/2025 19:04

I stopped shaving ages ago. I do it occasionally, if I'm getting dressed up (legs only) but to me it's as optional as painting my nails.
my armpits, last time I shaved them I felt so hot, sweaty, slimy, and got smelly really quickly. I couldn't wait for it to grow back, and I've never removed it since. I feel drier, cooler and it's much easier to prevent smells.
the final straw on legs was when I was going to work, and I noticed that my skirt showed my hairy shins, and my brain told me to change into a longer skirt.

and I decided. fuck it.

I don't owe bald legs to anybody. men don't change out of their shorts if their leg hair shows. I decided if anyone can't cope with seeing natural body hair, maybe going out in public isn't for them. it' their mental issue, not mine. I don't have to cater for it.

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 19:02

So your just going to do this on every comment

To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming
To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming
ObelixtheGaul · 26/01/2025 19:02

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 26/01/2025 17:08

I don’t care about things like this anymore. And I’ve never been able to find a method of hair removal that doesn’t leave the shaved/waxed/epilated/chemically burned area covered in an itchy rash.

I have only ever been able to get on with an electric ladyshave. Tried wet shaving a few times and always cut myself. Tried depilatory creams and it stank, was messy and made my armpits sting.

The electric shaver doesn't cause issues, but I only do it in summer.

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 18:59

@fencehedge is their something funny about what I said. If you have something to say why don't you say it rather then putting laughing faces on my comments

Alaimo · 26/01/2025 18:56

Hobbio · 26/01/2025 15:45

In my early 30s and agree with you
If I see another woman with hairy legs/arms at the pool, I think "good for you, also not giving a shit about others shallow opinions"

This. And I'd be a little jealous that I'm not quite as confident, as I do shave when my leghair is more than a few mm long.

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 18:55

ruethewhirl · 26/01/2025 18:54

Shocked?! How old are you? (I'm
not implying you're immature, I'm asking because there's a generational aspect to this in my experience)

  1. I'd be shocked if any of my friends or family suddenly did anything out of the ordinary for them
ruethewhirl · 26/01/2025 18:54

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:24

Sorry im going to be that person i wouldn't do it and I would say something to the person I'm with, purely because I'd be quite shocked but shaving to me is like brushing your teeth or flushing the toilet it's just something you do

Edited

Shocked?! How old are you? (I'm
not implying you're immature, I'm asking because there's a generational aspect to this in my experience)

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 18:53

birdling · 26/01/2025 18:52

Then you are an awful friend!
I have to shave my face daily, or I would have a full beard. I have PCOS and can't help it.

So your not growing a beard so not what i said

birdling · 26/01/2025 18:52

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 18:49

No but I would definitely comment if one of my female friends grew a beard

Then you are an awful friend!
I have to shave my face daily, or I would have a full beard. I have PCOS and can't help it.

AccordionedWhileMallBurned · 26/01/2025 18:50

I've given up shaving mine altogether, same with armpits. If someone faints with shock at the sight of a hairy female leg, tough.

WonderingWanda · 26/01/2025 18:50

Did you point out repeatedly to your friend how rude she was being?

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 18:49

IButtleSir · 26/01/2025 18:48

Brushing your teeth and flushing the toilet are about hygiene. Shaving your legs is nothing to do with hygiene- if it was, men would be expected to do it as well.

It would be unbelievably rude of you to comment on another woman's shaved legs. Do you make a comment to every man with a beard you come across?

No but I would definitely comment if one of my female friends grew a beard

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 18:48

CrowleyKitten · 26/01/2025 18:33

how rude! it's literally none of your business what other people do with their body hair.
and how is it like not brushing your teeth or not flushing the toilet? those are unhygienic. having body hair isn't unhygienic.

My friends sex lives and finances are also none of my business but we talk about that to

IButtleSir · 26/01/2025 18:48

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:24

Sorry im going to be that person i wouldn't do it and I would say something to the person I'm with, purely because I'd be quite shocked but shaving to me is like brushing your teeth or flushing the toilet it's just something you do

Edited

Brushing your teeth and flushing the toilet are about hygiene. Shaving your legs is nothing to do with hygiene- if it was, men would be expected to do it as well.

It would be unbelievably rude of you to comment on another woman's shaved legs. Do you make a comment to every man with a beard you come across?

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 18:47

cocoloco23 · 26/01/2025 18:35

Seriously?? You’d say something to a man who had shaved his legs???

Why do you think it’s ok to comment on someone else’s body hair?

A close male friend yes as this is how me and friends talk we literally talk about anything and everything.

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 18:45

birdling · 26/01/2025 18:37

Then you are not a very nice friend.

Do you not understand some friendship groups are different to others this is how we bond through sarcasm and taking the piss

Clearinguptheclutter · 26/01/2025 18:42

It’s totally crackers that (some) women feel like they need to shave for the pool and men don’t.

afraid to say that I would shave my legs for the pool. But my attitude would be “good for you” for anyone that didn’t. Definitely nothing gross about it

MarioLink · 26/01/2025 18:40

I would be surprised but not say anything and admire that you are comfortable being natural. I would accept that my shock is a product of being brought up with double standards about who is allowed hairy legs at the pool.