To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming

I swim twice a week and never notice whether another woman shaves or not - their legs are underwater when swimming and, though we have open showering and changing ( there are some cubicles but they are very cramped ) I’m too busy getting myself changed to notice and would not care about it anyway. I do remember being a blushing teenager who thinks everyone is staring at them and judging but most people grow out of that, surely.

Ironically, the only body hair I have noticed is the occasional v v hairy man, back and front, or the Y shaped serious male swimmers in training who remove their trunk hair and are very shiny as they wait to dive in. My DD is a competitive swimmer and she says the men do but that below elite level it’s not really going to make a significant difference ( much debate apparently)

@Anonycat

YANBU. I think the focus on women's (but not men's) body hair, and the implication that it is somehow unclean and we should somehow be ashamed of it (even on a body part as innocuous as legs) is totally ridiculous. It’s really shocking how many young women buy into this.'

Exactly.

I am always shocked when I read that shaving is 'more hygienic'.

If you wash regularly you are clean, hair or no hair.

@Shmee1988

'I mean, i get equality and patriarchy, misogyny etc but so many seem to want to throw feeling feminine.'

Having body hair is natural for men and women.

I don't see how it makes you less 'feminine' if that is a normal function of a female body to grow pubic hair, hair on your legs and so on...

Women having no body hair is a social construct.

Your friend sounds very silly and rude.

It is your body and you are free to present as you wish.

It is sad when women just accept the narrative that they must look a certain way.

Most of the beauty/groominh standards that are forced on women are just about giving them hang-ups so companies can sell more products to them.

As long as you have good hygiene, that's all that matters.

I swim daily and shave armpits but not legs.

dd is 17 and doesn’t shave anything. - it’s much more accepted now

I don't really shave my legs in the winter, I do in summer, but even then sometimes I get lazy. Like you OP I have sensitive skin and it gets irritated easily.

I went to the gym pool last week with my three year old. I was in a rush so hadn't shaved either my legs or bikini line. It was just us in the wee kiddies pool and an aquafit class was on beside us, mostly older women, plus a couple my age (early 40s).

I went back to the changing room and went into one of the showers and when I was rinsing us both off my three year old piped up really loudly; "mummy why do you have poo on your front legs???" I heard one of the ladies snort with laughter in the next shower cubicle. I calmly replied, "it's not poo it's dark brown hair, mummy didn't shave this morning." The lady in the next cubicle shouted "good for you, your mummy shouldn't need to". My son was all wide eyed and said, "does daddy have the same hair?" I replied, yes he does. Then my son said "good for you and daddy, mummy." 😂

So I've had the approval of the three year old and a random lady from aquafit. It is annoying how men can be hairy and no one bats an eye yet women get judged. I felt quite glad tbh that in forgetting that day I introduced my son to the concept of hair. He was entirely unfazed!

Gender is stupid but it’s also very much ingrained in society. Too ingrained.

Haven't shaved my legs since 2014, my armpits since 2020 and my lady garden since I don't know when (I did it a few times when I was younger and stupider.) Quite happy being a hairy beast. I've had a couple of blokes who've wanted me to let them shave my pubic hair, which is a bit weird and I've shut that nonsense down. (They did have to do that when I had my c section but only where they made the incision. I'd already had my spinal block by then and didn't feel a thing!)

It’s a completely arbitrary construction though that “femininity” equates to hairlessness. Literally completely made up (by male ad execs). Why do you think women with body hair aren’t feminine? What even is feminine? The status of being female, or some made up aesthetic rules? If you’re talking about the latter, not everyone wants that anyway.

You need to shave your body to feel feminine? That's so sad..and so concerned/embarrassed about your appearance that you had to have your legs in labour....tragic. I hope you learn to embrace your own body and feel less shame.

That's a real shame for you, that you're so brainwashed that you'd feel embarrassed to go around with your natural body. Shaving your arms is not normal

That’s ok then.

If one of my friends commented on me not shaving, I’d think they were being very weird, but that’s us, not you.

I go swimming twice a week and have hairy legs

I don't think anyone can tell. They're surely have to be fairly close to notice

I give zero fucks

But if i was going with a friend, I'd probably wax for fear of judgment

Yes the person I'm with which would be a close friend why would I go swimming with a stranger. I'm hoping now you've gone back over my comments you can understand a little bit more about what iv actually said its other posters saying I'm saying or implying things I'm not. I shave, I couldn't care less what others do but if it was a close friend I would make a joke of it as this is how we all communicate. We all do this its just the way we are. We do not talk about strangers or even notice what strangers are doing why would we where doing our own thing

I always shave before swimming as I prefer the look and feel of my legs shaved but I wouldn't comment on what my friends decide to do with their own bodies. Both men and women naturally have hair on their bodies. It is silly really that, as a society, hair on men's bodies is considered acceptable but hair on women's isn't.

Leg hair I don’t think I would bat an eye lid, if you had a full bikini bush sticking out I might but only because I think that’s my limit, I would struggle showing it off.

I have just recently started going swimming again. I occasionally shave my legs in the summer but not in the winter. There are about 5 women who swim at the same time as me and I have got no idea if any of them shave or not. It never occurred to me to look.

Well, you said ‘Sorry im going to be that person i wouldn't do it and I would say something to the person I'm with’ & later that you’d say something to a man who shaved his legs.

All that does suggest that if you saw a woman you didn’t know with hairy legs you’d discuss her with your friend, including comments & looks that she’d very likely be aware of. I’m not saying that’s what you meant but it’s how it comes across.

There’s also something somewhere about asking a woman why & saying ‘fair enough’ if she said she couldn’t be arsed.

Same her I just do it always have
Arms and legs. Would be embarrassed not to.
Not sure whether I'd say anything to a friend though. It has never arisen.

I don't personally like the look of it (and I prefer men not being all that hairy as well) but I wouldn't care. It's not like it affects me.

I have never said that I couldn't care less what others do. Please show me this comment

If all your friends find this equally funny as an in joke and you wouldn’t comment to / about or stare at a stranger who hasn’t shaved, that’s one thing.

But your earlier posts suggested that you’d ask any woman why she hadn’t shaved, whether she was a friend of yours or not.

You sound like a solicitor iv never known anyone twist a narrative so much

I have an old braun silk-epil which has a shaver. I don’t understand how it works though. Do you just push the foil head (second photo down on the left) into the skin? Wet or dry? I seem to recall trying it in the shower but it didn’t do anything.

Not shaving legs - Chewbacca
Huge pimple - who's your friend: These are comments I would say to close friends and they would say to me as this is our relationship.
Hygiene = shaving legs (implied by teeth brushing & toilet flushing) - i don't know how many times i have to explain this please read the thread.
You would comment on a friend if she had a beard
You would criticise a male friend for shaving legs - Again this is the type of friendship me and my friends have.
So again what specifically have I said that makes me an awful person and a troll. I'm sure you understand that people have different friendship groups