Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming

311 replies

ArchesOfWisteria · 26/01/2025 15:32

In my mid 40s I have lost the urge to remove body hair much, particularly in winter. If anything I find it’s better for my skin, no rashes or bumps under my arms, less sweating under my arms. Easier with sensitive skin.

I kind of presumed that no one cares that much- I certainly don’t care if other people have a preference to wax completely or not shave at all.

I went swimming with an acquaintance and she seemed shocked, a bit horrified even, at my legs. I stated I am comfortable, made a light joke my husband is supportive. But she brought it up again like it’s a big deal. ‘Especially as you are so fair skinned with black hair’ was her last comment (I am, not particularly super hair, average but with black hair).

Are other women actually bothered about shaving when it comes to others? Do you notice? I don’t in the pool! Obviously we all have our personal preferences for our own bodies, but does this for extend to being in anyway affronted by what another woman does. She stated hers is the typical view, but I may have more ‘European’ standards.

For context, if anyone askes, I’m quite average in most ways. Healthy weight, clean hair and clothing etc.

yanbu- I’m not really that bothered about what others do, as long as I can exercise my own personal freedom without comment

yabu- I think it’s a bit yucky on others and I do judge natural body hair in the pool

OP posts:
Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 17:04

diddl · 26/01/2025 17:00

They would probably say I couldn't be arsed I'd say fair enough

But why would you be pointing it out to them as if it was noteworthy or even wrong?

And what would you hope to gain at that point?

Because this is how my friends talk to each other it's the same if one of them had a huge spot I'd say aww you brought your friend

GloriousBlue · 26/01/2025 17:04

Oh my gosh, I'm SO over shaving and have been since 30

What a ridiculous concept that the patriarchy introduced

Fuck shaving, unless you want to do it for your own hygiene reasons or comfort

Still not brave enough to stop altogether and do it before e.g. a pool or beach day

ScruffMuffin · 26/01/2025 17:04

I love swimming, and go through phases of doing it a lot. Never shave legs more than once a week, but I'm fair and not very hairy. I couldn't give a flying fuck what other women (or men) choose to do with their body hair, and can't say I've ever noticed either way once in the water!

I shave my pits every couple of days, because stubble there is uncomfortable. Bush gets short back and sides in summer, but as long as it's covered by a costume, who cares?

Quiinkong · 26/01/2025 17:03

ArchesOfWisteria · 26/01/2025 15:32

In my mid 40s I have lost the urge to remove body hair much, particularly in winter. If anything I find it’s better for my skin, no rashes or bumps under my arms, less sweating under my arms. Easier with sensitive skin.

I kind of presumed that no one cares that much- I certainly don’t care if other people have a preference to wax completely or not shave at all.

I went swimming with an acquaintance and she seemed shocked, a bit horrified even, at my legs. I stated I am comfortable, made a light joke my husband is supportive. But she brought it up again like it’s a big deal. ‘Especially as you are so fair skinned with black hair’ was her last comment (I am, not particularly super hair, average but with black hair).

Are other women actually bothered about shaving when it comes to others? Do you notice? I don’t in the pool! Obviously we all have our personal preferences for our own bodies, but does this for extend to being in anyway affronted by what another woman does. She stated hers is the typical view, but I may have more ‘European’ standards.

For context, if anyone askes, I’m quite average in most ways. Healthy weight, clean hair and clothing etc.

yanbu- I’m not really that bothered about what others do, as long as I can exercise my own personal freedom without comment

yabu- I think it’s a bit yucky on others and I do judge natural body hair in the pool

I hate shaving for this exact same reason too. I'm in my 30s and stopped shaving regularly in my 20s especially when i was single for 7yrs, i felt liberated. My DP doesn't even find me hairy even though i think i am. He doesn't mind my body hair. 2yrs ago when i went out with a friend unshaved, she commented and i told her boyfriend didn't mind it at all and she never mentioned it again. Don't mind your friend and do you

Winterskyfall · 26/01/2025 17:01

I only wax my legs when they are going to be on display but the rest of the time they are hairy things. I feel uncomfortable having very hairy legs on display but I really respect those who are comfortable enough not to feel pressured to remove their leg hair. If I was your friend my reaction would be good for you OP.

diddl · 26/01/2025 17:00

They would probably say I couldn't be arsed I'd say fair enough

But why would you be pointing it out to them as if it was noteworthy or even wrong?

And what would you hope to gain at that point?

RIPVPROG · 26/01/2025 16:58

I shave my legs a couple of times a week, so pretty densely stubbly by day 3 , I wear thick tights a lot this time of year and I feel itchy when the tights rub against the hair if I leave it to grow longer. What others think of me at a swimming pool is not a concern. Although I will make sure my bikini line is trimmed enough that I don't have handfuls of pubes sticking out the sides of my costume, but I am a pretty hairy person

ArtTheClown · 26/01/2025 16:58

I have big bushy armpits, wonder what your friend would think of that...

I wish I still did! I've been feeling quite sweaty and gross of pit recently, so I shaved them thinking it might help. Did the exact opposite, now growing them back.

LindorDoubleChoc · 26/01/2025 16:57

Hmmm. I'm extremely low maintenance by typical grooming standards but I do prefer not to have leg hair showing in public. So to go swimming I would deal see to that (I don't shave btw). But I really don't think I'd comment on a friend's leg hair, that would make me seem like a bit of an eejit.

ArtTheClown · 26/01/2025 16:57

OP it wouldn't bother me, I'm really hit and miss on shaving as well, particularly in winter.

TroysMammy · 26/01/2025 16:57

We shouldn't be derided for hairy legs but we are. Last winter I shaved my very hairy legs when I went for an ultrasound on my liver. I was most put out that it was done in a dark room and I didn't need to take my trousers off. Best pants and bra weren't needed either.

seaelephant · 26/01/2025 16:57

I have big bushy armpits, wonder what your friend would think of that...

ArtTheClown · 26/01/2025 16:56

But you have to understand men and women are different. I wear make up, use tampons, wear dresses and high heels, carry a handbag, birthed 2 children. You can't compare women shaving their legs to men we are not the same.

Childbirth and menstruation are biological functions. The rest is just a choice, things you prefer.

ThatGladTiger · 26/01/2025 16:54

Woahtherehoney · 26/01/2025 16:36

This is it really! I usually shave my legs in the bath so if I have one the night before I go swimming I might shave them if I remember. But I don’t make a big deal of it and if I’ve forgotten I just carry on and go.

Show quote history

Me too. I’ll shave my legs in the bath once a week (I do bath more than once a week). They are nice for swimming day 1…. And I look like a yeti by day 6 but I just don’t care! 🤷🏽‍♀️ Repeat throughout winter!

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:52

diddl · 26/01/2025 16:48

Well it's obviously not a thing that everyone just does.

Do you think that a woman with unshaven legs hasn't noticed & needs to be reminded because they have forgotten?

Show quote history

That is why I have said all the way along for me. If I was going swimming with someone I know I'd know them well enough to mention it and I'm assuming it would be something they felt strongly about so wouldn't be embarrassed. They would probably say I couldn't be arsed I'd say fair enough chewbacca and that would be the end of it

Eraclea · 26/01/2025 16:49

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:43

But you have to understand men and women are different. I wear make up, use tampons, wear dresses and high heels, carry a handbag, birthed 2 children. You can't compare women shaving their legs to men we are not the same.

Show quote history

Two of these of these relate to undeniable difference biological differences between the sexes. The others are artificial cultural constructs, which can be rejected. Men wear and have worn clothing similar to dresses in other people’s places and at different times, for example.

diddl · 26/01/2025 16:48

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:24

Sorry im going to be that person i wouldn't do it and I would say something to the person I'm with, purely because I'd be quite shocked but shaving to me is like brushing your teeth or flushing the toilet it's just something you do

Edited

Well it's obviously not a thing that everyone just does.

Do you think that a woman with unshaven legs hasn't noticed & needs to be reminded because they have forgotten?

Ameliepoulainandthephotobooth · 26/01/2025 16:47

I don’t care what others do and certainly wouldn’t comment but I wax all year as I dislike being hairy.

I wouldn’t not go swimming if I was hairy though.

madaboutpurple · 26/01/2025 16:47

I go swimming often and never spend my time thinking about body hair. Most people concentrate on the number of lenghts they do or the time they spend in the water. Each to their own.

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:47

Eyerollexpert · 26/01/2025 16:45

Don't agree with high heel thing either

Show quote history

To be fair that one was a bit of a stretch I don't wear heels often

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:46

HarryVanderspeigle · 26/01/2025 16:44

I clean my teeth because otherwise they would rot and fall out. I don't think that happens if you have body hair.

Show quote history

I just mean to me it's a normal part of life as a woman I shave my legs, pits and bits.

Eyerollexpert · 26/01/2025 16:45

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:43

But you have to understand men and women are different. I wear make up, use tampons, wear dresses and high heels, carry a handbag, birthed 2 children. You can't compare women shaving their legs to men we are not the same.

Show quote history

Don't agree with high heel thing either

HarryVanderspeigle · 26/01/2025 16:44

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:24

Sorry im going to be that person i wouldn't do it and I would say something to the person I'm with, purely because I'd be quite shocked but shaving to me is like brushing your teeth or flushing the toilet it's just something you do

Edited

I clean my teeth because otherwise they would rot and fall out. I don't think that happens if you have body hair.

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:43

Pickledpeanuts · 26/01/2025 16:33

Is it though? My husband always brushes his teeth and flushes the toilet but I've never known him to shave his legs.

Op yanbu. I like the feel of hair free legs, but wouldn't let a little hair stop me swimming. I'd also not be do ignorant as to comment on another woman's leg hair.

Show quote history

But you have to understand men and women are different. I wear make up, use tampons, wear dresses and high heels, carry a handbag, birthed 2 children. You can't compare women shaving their legs to men we are not the same.

Namechangedforspooky · 26/01/2025 16:42

It’s so weird to comment. Tbh I swim a lot and don’t bother with my legs but I’m very fair. I can’t say I’ve ever noticed hair on anyone else though, let alone bothered to have an opinion on it!