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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming

311 replies

ArchesOfWisteria · 26/01/2025 15:32

In my mid 40s I have lost the urge to remove body hair much, particularly in winter. If anything I find it’s better for my skin, no rashes or bumps under my arms, less sweating under my arms. Easier with sensitive skin.

I kind of presumed that no one cares that much- I certainly don’t care if other people have a preference to wax completely or not shave at all.

I went swimming with an acquaintance and she seemed shocked, a bit horrified even, at my legs. I stated I am comfortable, made a light joke my husband is supportive. But she brought it up again like it’s a big deal. ‘Especially as you are so fair skinned with black hair’ was her last comment (I am, not particularly super hair, average but with black hair).

Are other women actually bothered about shaving when it comes to others? Do you notice? I don’t in the pool! Obviously we all have our personal preferences for our own bodies, but does this for extend to being in anyway affronted by what another woman does. She stated hers is the typical view, but I may have more ‘European’ standards.

For context, if anyone askes, I’m quite average in most ways. Healthy weight, clean hair and clothing etc.

yanbu- I’m not really that bothered about what others do, as long as I can exercise my own personal freedom without comment

yabu- I think it’s a bit yucky on others and I do judge natural body hair in the pool

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standardduck · 28/01/2025 19:23

I think your friend was quite rude.

I don't care whether people shave their legs or not. But for me personally, I didn't like the look or feel of hair so I had a laser removal and never thought about it since

StrikeForever · 28/01/2025 19:19

@Augarden I can’t see without my glasses either. I swam blind for years, then saw a women swimming in her glasses. I asked her about it, and she explained that once you put them in the water, they stay clear. Turns out that’s right and I have been able to see when swimming ever since. I don’t look for hair on other women’s bodies though 😂

lilkitten · 28/01/2025 17:48

I'm mid-40s and stopped shaving in lockdown to see how it was. I've found no-one's been fussed, I'm dating and none of my partners have been fussed either.

BeRoseShark · 28/01/2025 16:22

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MusicMakesItAllBetter · 28/01/2025 14:34

Toptops · 27/01/2025 22:58

I haven't shaved my legs, armpits or anything else well, ever!
I played, with friends, with some wax strips on our legs when I was a teenager but that was it.
I wish other women wouldn't put themselves through this....
Oh, but now I am older, I do have a persistent hair on my face that keeps growing. That offends me mightily and I am rigorous with the tweezers!

I love a pluck! It gives me a feeling of gratification lol

CatsnCoffee · 28/01/2025 03:59

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 26/01/2025 15:54

YANBU. No one's stopping your friend from shaving if she prefers it. We as women already have so many unreasonable pressures and expectations pushed on us, it's sad that some women want so desperately want keep them all, let alone push them on other women.

We should have freedom to do what we want with our bodies and appearance (within reason, obviously keeping up with personal hygiene is the polite thing to do, but as society already seems to understand when it comes to men, you can be clean and have body hair).

She’s not a friend; OP states she’s an acquaintance. It’s none of her business. Her remark about OP being ‘European’ suggests she’s xenophobic too. I wouldn’t even want her as an acquaintance.

Augarden · 27/01/2025 23:19

Mid 30s, swim weekly and always have hairy legs. No one's ever said anything or stared, sure once I'm in the pool nobody would even know. Although I can't see very well without my glasses so maybe they are staring and I can't even tell 😂 If anything I think it would be weird to go to the effort of hair removal when currently that's the only time my legs are exposed at all, just why would I do that? I'm there to swim not to look sexy.

Mandylovescandy · 27/01/2025 23:12

I don't care and rarely bother but then if I do I always wax so you have to get used to the bit where it is getting long enough to redo. Only really ever notice really long underarm hair when abroad as I feel I rarely see that here but don't judge it

Toptops · 27/01/2025 22:58

I haven't shaved my legs, armpits or anything else well, ever!
I played, with friends, with some wax strips on our legs when I was a teenager but that was it.
I wish other women wouldn't put themselves through this....
Oh, but now I am older, I do have a persistent hair on my face that keeps growing. That offends me mightily and I am rigorous with the tweezers!

MajorCarolDanvers · 27/01/2025 22:27

I never bother.

I haven’t shaved anything for years.

And even when I did it was legs and underarms only. But no more. Life’s too short for that guff.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 27/01/2025 22:26

Legs and underarms no problem.
For me, I'm lazy at maintaining the lady garden and would only swim in my shorts right now but I'm ok with that.
I'll get a bikini wax when I want to

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 27/01/2025 22:24

BeachRide · 26/01/2025 15:53

You just reminded me of this Smack the Pony sketch:

🤣

Love STP. Brilliant writers and actors

StrikeForever · 27/01/2025 22:08

Rainbow450 · 27/01/2025 21:45

I wouldn't be bothered by leg hair and do go swimming without shaving. Underarm hair is another matter and would shave that.

Do you know why, or is it just habit?

Rainbow450 · 27/01/2025 21:45

I wouldn't be bothered by leg hair and do go swimming without shaving. Underarm hair is another matter and would shave that.

CrowleyKitten · 27/01/2025 21:44

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 27/01/2025 21:00

Went swimming with my wonderful friend who had finished chemo and battled breast cancer... in the changing room she said "look, even got my bush back!" and I suddenly stopped caring about removing body hair. Her furry legs were a beautiful sign of health and wellness.
I've not waxed since.

my mum said that was the first hair to fall out, and it looked really weird.
took longer than head hair to grow back, too.

CrowleyKitten · 27/01/2025 21:39

BogRollBOGOF · 27/01/2025 10:47

I've never noticed others' leg hair (or not) when swimming or at classes.

Once, many years ago I noticed a woman with longer, natural underarm hair in the showers. I remember it because it was relatively unusual, but actually it looked a lot softer and nicer than I thought it would be.

I few years ago I managed a winter without having to expose my arm pits and let it grow, and I preferred it. It was less sweaty as the hair did it's natural job of wicking sweat off the arm pit. If society dropped the expectatation of women to be body-hairless, I'd happily embrace it.

I wish there was a campaign to accept or even embrace our natural bodily features. Hair isn't dirty or stinky.

I really like my soft, fluffy armpits. much nicer than when they were sharp and stubbly. and as you said, it really helps control sweat and stinkiness.

StormingNorman · 27/01/2025 21:37

XenoBitch · 27/01/2025 21:13

Having a hairy big toe is normal.
I used to think I was a freak for having hairs on my toes, and that there was something wrong with me.
The problem was with society, not my hairy toes.

I know it’s normal. That’s why it’s funny she waxes it.

StupidBitchy · 27/01/2025 21:16

She's just jealous of your confidence. Otherwise why would she bring it up it's just rude. She wants to pull you back into the patriarchal rat race she calls home

XenoBitch · 27/01/2025 21:13

StormingNorman · 27/01/2025 20:05

I have a friend who waxes her big toes 😂

Having a hairy big toe is normal.
I used to think I was a freak for having hairs on my toes, and that there was something wrong with me.
The problem was with society, not my hairy toes.

Pootle23 · 27/01/2025 21:08

Differentstarts · 27/01/2025 20:02

Why would you be bothered if someone related to you shaves. Why would you care

I don’t care if they do. I also would not say anything to anyone about their preference as it’s none of my business nor concern.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 27/01/2025 21:00

Went swimming with my wonderful friend who had finished chemo and battled breast cancer... in the changing room she said "look, even got my bush back!" and I suddenly stopped caring about removing body hair. Her furry legs were a beautiful sign of health and wellness.
I've not waxed since.

Jessm24 · 27/01/2025 20:33

I love this thread! Go you and thanks for empowering other women to love their bodies 👏

squishee · 27/01/2025 20:21

I'm late 40s and swim 3x weekly, leg hair or not. I wax, so there's always a yucky phase where you have to let the hairs grow out first. People might judge in their heads, but never say anything. That would be rude.

Precipice · 27/01/2025 20:10

I haven't shaved my legs since I was about 12! I did it a few times, then I thought, this is stupid, boys get to have leg hair, and I got myself out of it.

A few years ago, I started getting a lot more chin hairs, which I do remove, and along that came the fact that the leg hair on the top of my legs grew in resemblance closer to my pubic hair than to hair elsewhere on the leg (which in turn lengthened rather, it grows to over 3cm in parts.) I sometimes trim that (with nail scissors).

I think bald legs and bald armpits look odd! That's not really an option in your options ;) we can only be sensible and shrug our shoulders at others or we can judge in the way your friend does about naturally growing hair.

But it isn't something I notice around the pool as much, more just out and about in summer. I do see women with body hair in the showers (mostly open plan changing area, some women who shower naked in it.)

StormingNorman · 27/01/2025 20:05

I have a friend who waxes her big toes 😂

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