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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it’s really annoying when ppl make unannounced visits

81 replies

empee47 · 26/01/2025 14:35

Particularly on a Sunday afternoon? Husband out, finally got both kids round table to do homework, nipped to loo, relatives came in and sat down and are wanting entertained. I’ve had to drop everything. Oh we won’t stop long - they’ve been here for an hour already 🙈

OP posts:
Freshflower · 26/01/2025 15:34

I cant stand this , you have to change your whole day sometimes. I wouldn't even dream of doing that to someone, don't know why some people think it's OK. A simple message, hey I was thinking of coming over are you free, is all it takes

Louoby · 26/01/2025 15:32

I think it's so rude to just turn up round someone's house. I have always made it clear to call me first. Never allowed "drop ins". I would have sent them packing and saying we are busy today.

OnlyMothersInTheBuilding · 26/01/2025 15:32

ForZanyAquaViewer · 26/01/2025 15:04

The fact that you love it doesn’t mean that most people don’t hate it, though. The voting and comments would indicate that most people agree with the OP.

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Mumsnet isn't a representative sample though is it? My partner's entire family have an open door policy (partly cultural). I love unexpected guests too. I'm often at odds with the status quo on here but what's voiced on Mumsnet doesn't always reflect real life.

Scentsitive · 26/01/2025 15:31

Hate. It.

user1471526265 · 26/01/2025 15:29

I actually grew up where it was totally normal to have people coming and going without any notice. Front door was usually locked (as it just did when shut) but people knew the back door was always open and they'd come around and let themselves in. I hated it then too, but I am very introverted and need time to prepare myself when I'm going to be seeing anyone.

Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 26/01/2025 15:28

My friend randomly turned up last weekend - no warning, was in the area and thought she'd call in. Except dh and l were trying to fix the car and it was late so nearly dark and it wasn't going well so we were arguing too and just was a terrible moment for her to be standing on my drive wanting a catch up.
I felt bad cos l didn't even offer her a cuppa but we had plans the next week to meet up. If she'd have text first l could habe said not a good time.

readyandwaiting123 · 26/01/2025 15:26

Noshowlomo · 26/01/2025 15:05

God I hate it. HATE IT!! I need days notice ! Weeks 😂 even then I’ll try to cancel.
I love seeing people but generally out of the house. I don’t know why, but my home is very much my sanctuary.
Our friends used to pop around sometimes, and I remember we’d hide. I know this isn’t “normal”

I absolutely agree. I hate people being in my house. It puts me on edge 😂 I'd much rather meet else where. Don't know why I'm like it

Eyerollexpert · 26/01/2025 15:21

OMG this is so something all my family do and not a problem. Anyone is welcome anytime if I am not in they are welcome to come in make a cup of tea use the loo whatever. I would be offended if they didn't think they could do this. I am older and live in a small village though. I don't even lock my door when I go out, if I get burglars they will be disappointed but I hope they do a spring clean whilst they are at it.

Redcandlescandal · 26/01/2025 15:11

empee47 · 26/01/2025 14:53

No, door was unlocked, they saw the kids sitting in the kitchen, tapped on the window and let themselves in while I was in the loo.

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Just as well it was someone safe that just walked into your house and sat with your children isn’t it???!!!

I don’t know anyone who would leave their kids that vulnerable. Anyway, all you have to do is lock the door properly. Then ignore them.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 26/01/2025 15:05

This has honestly never happened to me. I don’t know anyone who would think it was an acceptable thing to do. And for that, I am thankful.

Noshowlomo · 26/01/2025 15:05

God I hate it. HATE IT!! I need days notice ! Weeks 😂 even then I’ll try to cancel.
I love seeing people but generally out of the house. I don’t know why, but my home is very much my sanctuary.
Our friends used to pop around sometimes, and I remember we’d hide. I know this isn’t “normal”

ForZanyAquaViewer · 26/01/2025 15:04

LoafofSellotape · 26/01/2025 15:01

Most people don't hate this . I love unexpected guests.

OP they are family, just get on with what needs to be done after making them a cuppa.

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The fact that you love it doesn’t mean that most people don’t hate it, though. The voting and comments would indicate that most people agree with the OP.

boringday · 26/01/2025 15:02

My in-laws used to do this until I opened the door in my pjs and looked at them in complete shock and made them feel uncomfortable and awkward. They usually ring now.

LoafofSellotape · 26/01/2025 15:01

VotingForYourself · 26/01/2025 14:36

Most people hate this so when it happens I always assume they really need to see me for something reason. Perhaps lonely. Perhaps bad news they want to share.

Most people don't hate this . I love unexpected guests.

OP they are family, just get on with what needs to be done after making them a cuppa.

No33 · 26/01/2025 14:59

Everybody knows not to do this with me.

However, none of us would do this. It's so easy to text.

Meecrowahvey · 26/01/2025 14:58

Just don't let them in. Tell them if they wish to visit they need to text first.

kiana2015 · 26/01/2025 14:57

I'm from Ireland this is completely normal over there just let yourselves in and pop by whenever you want. I have had it a few times and I don't like it if I'm in my pj's relaxing or the house is messy, I do prefer notice

VotingForYourself · 26/01/2025 14:54

Tell your kids not to do that

3678194b · 26/01/2025 14:53

People used to do this all the time, especially before the ease of text messaging. PIL's used to especially, usually when in the middle of having dinner or about to go out or something. I don't think there is any excuse anymore with at least sending a text asking if it's convenient.

VotingForYourself · 26/01/2025 14:53

empee47 · 26/01/2025 14:51

Yes

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They opened the door from the outside and walked in? You need to up your home security.

Original poster
empee47 · 26/01/2025 14:53

Redcandlescandal · 26/01/2025 14:39

How did this happen? Do they have a key? Take it back!! Then you just don’t answer the door if it’s inconvenient.

No, door was unlocked, they saw the kids sitting in the kitchen, tapped on the window and let themselves in while I was in the loo.

OP posts:
Original poster
empee47 · 26/01/2025 14:51

thepariscrimefiles · 26/01/2025 14:41

Did they just let themselves in while you were in the toilet? If so, that's really rude.

Yes

OP posts:
Mumlaplomb · 26/01/2025 14:44

YANBU I don’t like it. Mostly because my house can get quite messy by the weekend and we tend to lie in and lounge about a bit unless we know we have visitors or plans. I’m not show home ready for guests at all times!

PiastriThePastry · 26/01/2025 14:43

Within reason, I actually don’t mind. My in laws in particular love to just randomly appear! The people who pop in to see us don’t tend to take the piss though, that probably makes all the difference!

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