To think it’s really annoying when ppl make unannounced visits

I don't think it's a big deal really but you have to like the company of the person/people 😂

In your circumstances, OP, I would have said something like “Oh, lovely to see you, unfortunately I have to get a whole bunch done before Monday. Do you want to arrange to come back another day or do you want to help me get the washing on?”

I would not have dropped everything to entertain them unless I preferred that to doing whatever I had been going to do.

I’d have been blunter about getting them out of the house if them being there disturbed the DC’s homework, though!

I have every sympathy for your friends parent🧡.
Once someone was at my door, let's just say not someone who looked local, before I even got to the door my sister who lives a 2 min walk away was on the phone asking who was at the door and did I need her to come. Jungle drums in a small village! Also out of 10.houses in my immediate vicinity all have full super quality cctv and ring door bells no privacy 😂

Is an amazing cultural change, isn't it. As recently as the nineties, I would have been quite comfortable with having friends pop in unannounced, and also with letting them know it wasn't a good time on the odd occasiona when it wasn't. I was living in another country then.

So, I'm not sure whether its just not acceptable in England, or whether the advent of mobile phones has changed things. Of course, all my life its been perfectly possible to phone beforehand, but we did it less 30 years ago.

I think context is key: when I was a student or living in shared houses in my 20s this didn’t bother me because I had loads of time. Now in my 50s with a demanding job and a teenager it is a real nuisance if people do this because it’s disrespectful of my time.

Time is the key to how people feel about this: some people have masses of it, for others it’s the most precious commodity.

If someone were to tip up unannounced at the weekend they would be eating into time that could be spent spent catching up on work or life admin or something I had planned with my DP or DD or just precious time decompressing making me lose an opportunity to do something that I had looked forward to.

Time is incredibly precious to me now, probably more so than money and someone assuming they could just swallow up a few hours of my precious downtime to sit around chewing the fat would deprive me of the opportunity to do something I had planned to do and would seem really entitled and selfish.

I dare say when I retire I will have a lot more time and maybe feel more relaxed. But I do think people who expect a middle aged person with kids and a job to be thrilled by someone just arriving are a bit selfish. It’s obviously going to be a nuisance.

Yanbu it's so easy to send a msg and I will make time for you if you show up unexpectedly I'm busy. I especially hate it when people turn up while where eating

Yes this is my take on it. I have 3 young kids so tbh I'm quite happy for any family to randomly turn up (almost never do) or call and say can we come round later (still pretty rare). Cos I will make them a brew and get biscuits out, chat for 10 mins (or however long if I'm nap trapped or breastfeeding the youngest) and then crack on with housework and leave them with all the kids to entertain.

(Probably why this doesn't happen to us much!)

I can deal with it but often through gritted teeth and sometimes embarrassment due to the state of myself and/or my house! It irritates me that they think I have nothing to do just like them, so can entertain them for an hour or two no problem. It's an invasion of my safe space and if they texted first to give me time to gather my thoughts and whizz around with the duster and the dustbin I wouldn't mind at all! Forewarned is forearmed.

It all depends, doesn’t it? In summer, sitting in garden with a bottle and the papers, chores and animals done and food sorted - come on in and stay for supper!
Exhausted and anxious about upcoming week, free boobing whilst attempting to get on top of laundry and scrape a meal together - oh God fuck off, please!
A quick message before you descend is basic manners in my book..

All my side of the family don't just turn up at each other's houses unannounced, we check first and if we want to drop something off etc we just drop it off and say "I'm not staying/coming in, was just passing and needed to drop this off etc". However, when we first married, MIL and FIL would turn up unannounced any time they felt like it. Sometimes, they even brought other people with them. They always seemed to time it at mealtimes, in the hope they'd all get invited to stay and eat. Manys the time on a Sunday morning they've turned up with friends in tow at lunch time and dh has had to do a mad dash to the local shop for a couple of quiches etc. They then also started turning up every Saturday afternoon, we worked full time all week and Saturday was the only chance we had to go out. In the end dh had to tell them not to call unannounced and not to visit on Saturdays. I later heard from SIL that MIL said anyone visiting us had to make an appointment first!

I find unannounced phonecalls bad enough, let alone visits! 😅

Not to do what? Sit in a seat that’s visible from the outside?

I think it's so rude to just turn up round someone's house. It's rude if you know they don't like it. It's not rude per se.

I have an open (ish) door policy

If it's inconvenient, I just say so otherwise - come on in but people are told to take me as you find me. I don't stop what I'm doing or anything.

I love it too. And it's only friends and my DC who would turn up unannounced, so no need to be "house ready". Or people wanting to return stuff they've borrowed, and then I take it at the door and thank them profusely, or invite them in for a cuppa depending on my mood.

It's lovely to have a social event that's a surprise.

I had an uncle who did this when I was growing up. He was a nice enough bloke and never caused any trouble but OMG the unannounced visits were a pain in the arse. He had no partner or kids so would always pop round to see my mum. As a teenager there were times I was home alone with my boyfriend and he’d show up, it was so awkward. I’d invite him in whilst we waited for my mum and as a 16 year old girl I had nothing to talk about with a 60 year old bloke.

How can you ever relax to do anything like that if you think people might just turn up? Easily. You know you're not going to be disturbed because you won't be answering the door and you've put your phones on silent.

If she'd have text first l could have said not a good time. You can still say that face to face. And in a way that says "you're a valued friend but we're not available" It's very difficult to put across in a text that it's the timing that is wrong, and not them.

Most people hate this A lot of people don't.

No, door was unlocked Well, that's your mistake. If your relatives can get in while you're out of the room, then so can a sneak thief.

I’ve had to drop everything No you haven't. You've had to pause long enough to say "lovely to see you but the children are doing homework and we can't stop. Make yourself a cup of tea before you go if you like, but I'm afraid I will have to ignore you, and you'll you'll have to drink it in the other room so as not to disturb the children".

Bit don't you ever settle down to watch a film, or have a bath or read or something and not want to be interrupted? How can you ever relax to do anything like that if you think people might just turn up? My parents occasionally drop by without notice and I'm.polite but they don't get a cuppa or anything. If I'm not actually busy I'm very consciously relaxing so I don't want company.

YANBU I hate it and find it rude.

I need to be house ready. Also we do quite a lot in terms of clubs, DS does a lot of football and DD does boxing, we are talking training, matches, competitions etc so it’s inconvenient.

Luckily DH is very good at politely telling people it’s not convenient and some other time.

I have no issue with unexpected guests but would never leave my door unlocked so anyone could just walk in 😬

I really don’t feel strongly about this . Friends ,neighbours and family occasionally arrive unexpectedly .If inconvenient I just say I am busy,it really isn’t a drama IRL only in MN world !

If you don't like it, just tell them. I actually love it when people pop round, but i know I'm in the minority here.

In hindsight I would have said "great you can help the DC with their homework whilst I crack on with some cleaning" 🤣

Let's hope they aren't the kind of burglars who let themselves into my friend's Mum's (and partner) house. They beat them up, tied them up and then ransacked the house. They lived in a place where people thought it was "safe", too.

The truth is that burglars (and worse) know that people living rurally are less likely to lock their doors and target them accordingly.