How do people pay for a holiday? Decent income and can’t afford it?

@Ht1 Our take home is 5,000 a month after tax. Mortgage 1,600, childcare 1,400, car payments 450 for two cars (each needed for work), bills 600, which leaves around 1,000 for petrol or days out and birthdays or one off expenses.

OP, you are being silly.

You made a decision to have children, which is a massive financial commitment. That is self-evident from your own reported spending, which is £1400 a month on childcare.

If you make a large financial commitment like having children, it should be expected that you won't be able to have holidays for a while. That's normal.

So you will be able to have holidays again once you are no longer paying childcare. What's the issue?

I’m a solo parent on under £30,000 and thankfully no childcare fees. I’ve just booked to go abroad for the first time in six years (Eurostar to Brussels for a few days then on to visit friends in Germany - still very expensive but I can’t wait). The last few years have been either visiting family in the UK, self catering, or camping.

I was surprised how much fun camping was - there was a playground and good washing/toilet block on site, and we were about half an hour to the coast by car. My daughter made friends with the children in the next tent and used to run off to play with them in the morning.

Don’t compare to others. Each person has got different outgoings and that’s how some people can afford what others can’t

when my son was in childcare we went to Mexico and a few more trips. Out mortgage is 1/3 of yours so despite we were paying for childcare we were saving on other things where you can’t.

The childcare will be void when they are older
Stick to cheaper holidays whilst they are young, like camping which our kids loved.

Your mortgage is high. Either look elsewhere for better rates if you’re not tied in or move. If you value your holidays more.

Reduce days out and keep an eye out for freebie s. Become a member of NT or similar in your area. We had Leeds castle and Howletts ( wild animal park ) membership and took picnics for endless days out.
Buy a cheap car instead of financing.
£1000 for days out and birthdays is high, I’d look at reducing this significantly

I was brought up in the 1970's (born 1963) holidays away were a rarity.

My GF used to work 6.5 days a week as the manager for a small chain of shoe makers in Dorset. His holiday leave coincided with when the shops that he managed closed - eg: Christmas and Easter. My father would talk about how his mother would take the children to the nearest beach - a long walk and 2 train rides away in Weymouth. When my GF finished work at lunchtime, he would arrive in enough time to scoff a quick sandwich and cup of tea on the beach and then accompany his family on the long journey home.

I wonder who the holiday is for - the children or the adults? In my experience children need and like routine and a 'holiday' only upsets that. But then there is the experience of other cultures that they benefit from when travelling abroad. It's a tough one. I'm so happy that I no longer have a young child, there are so many pressure on parents these days.

I put it on a credit card, pay it off over several months, go on holiday, come back, ensure all paid off in full, book another 😁

Also though, I don’t drink, go out for nights out, hardly ever buy clothes, eat out rarely and cheaply. Family members ask me how I can afford it, well I’m not spending £100 a week on take aways, bottles of wine, in the pub etc.

When DC were young we felt we were lucky if we could afford to rent a fairly basic cottage in the UK, and some years we couldn’t even do that. But when we did, we had a lot of fun and spent very little. We didn’t have expensive days out or meals out.
What I learnt is that it is no use looking at other people. Some people will earn more than you, some don’t have the same financial commitments and some will be going into debt to pay for the holiday.

Do you like camping? We really made the most of camping when our kids were younger. Invested in things to make it comfortable and drove to South of France every year. The campsites in France are wonderful and cheap. Crossing by ferry is cheap and with clubcard you can use the tunnel really cheaply. We booked a cheap roadside hotel family room on the way down and the way back and then spent two weeks on the campsite.

They were amazing holidays and generally cost us around £2000 all in for 4 of us each year.

We cooked for ourselves but also are out every few nights. Would thoroughly recommend it. One year we even crossed into Spain and camped there.

We go on holiday by booking one we can afford! Generally 5 nights in a UK caravan

We bring home less than you (approx £4k after tax) and have 4 holidays booked for this year but it’s all down to planning.
months in advance I check prices and availability (I go week by week checking prices of where I want to go - eg Center Parcs we just went for a week for £344 but a week later was £450 and in a few weeks when it’s half term it’s £1700!!) We find what we want then book annual leave with work not the other way around. I never understand why people only want to go away a particular week each year and then complain the price of a holiday is so much.

Also just to add we have a mortgage, two pre-school kids so paying for childcare, and bills but we religiously save £400 a month for holidays and trips and will not dip into this money for anything but going away. I would rather miss out on a takeaway, new clothes, expensive toys ect so that we get to enjoy traveling as a family.
This year we have 1wk at Center Parcs, 1 week at Butlins in their new executive lodge (normally £900 but I found a week for £300 in March) a two week P&O cruise (£4k all in with parking and drink package) and Disney Paris (4 nights in a Disney hotel with parking tickets £1k).
It's all in the planning and looking early then saving for it. I’ve already booked a holiday for March 2026 only yesterday with a discount code for £50 off.

If you really want to go away then set a monthly amount you will save and go from there.

We don't have car finance. We have much lower childcare bills. We have less housing costs.

It's not that hard to work out.

The "spare money" just gets wiped most months our end. We take home a bit more but have similar out going costs and still end up with nothing each month really

The childcare is the absolute killer. It's not forever though. Hang in there (another year and a half for us!)

Until then we have just done cheap UK breaks. Butlins in June - £500 all in with food for a week. Bournemouth in July for 4 days - £400.

Few months of no eating out, days out etc over winter helped.

You say £450 for two cars is cheap……well I’m sure compared to a new car it is. But I’m guessing you have both got new to you cars in the last 3 years. For me that would be unusual.

My current car is a 2016 plate and dh’s car is a 2010 plate. Dh’s car cost him 1k cash about 5 years ago. It’s in good condition, he’s had no issue with it or major costs. We will keep both cars until it’s not economical to repair. Dh’s last car was over 15 years old and had over 200,000 miles on the clock when sadly the fuel tank corroded through. Engine wise it was running fine.

When my kids were little (nursery age) most parents assumed they couldn’t afford big foreign holidays and rented a caravan/cottage by the sea instead. Those childcare payments aren’t forever and will become your holiday money later on.

It’s this type of thing that eats away at the finances.

Maybe look at somewhere similar you can go for free.
Walk in the countryside to meet animals in field. No entry fee, no parking charges and take a packed lunch

We had a day out once to see the circus camels which I heard were residing in a field a few miles away.
Or a brisk walk around the local park then back home to an indoor picnic. Throws and cushions on the living room floor, plates of finger food and a family movie to watch

Everyone thinks things will improve a little when they are at school, but wraparound care though is still quite expensive.

@RosesAndHellebores makes a good point too - £600 on bills for a family of three is nothing. Does that really include absolutely every single bill you have OP?

Your outgoings are way more than ours quite simply. Our mortgage is about £600 now, bills about the same, one car, no nursery fees but also wouldn’t probably spend £1000 on petrol/ food and days out etc anyway (even though we go out for food at weekends/ cinema/ days out). We look for deals, get days out with points/ app deals etc it’s been cheaper for us to go abroad compared to friends who staycation (esp if buying all the camping gear etc and self catering) it seems anyway. We did 5 nights in Greece half board with lots of sightseeing/ meals out / trips etc for less than friends who booked 4 nights in a caravan in Dorset over summer.

We probably are more on the exceptional side as we tend to go away 3-4 times a year (from city breaks to one long haul) and it’s what we prioritise. I wouldn’t spend £400 going somewhere like legoland UK for example when I could go to Denmark’s Billand legoland for less (or many other European city break’s for a weekend).

Package deals can be WAY more and it can be way cheaper buying flights and hotels separately. Lots of package places now do free kid places too, or if they are not at school
You’ll save a fortune going outside the school holidays. It does take some research but can be very easy to get a great deal.

I take public transport to work which costs me about £85 a month, yes it's less convenient as I have to walk kids on foot in the morning then continue on foot to where I catch public transport. But it does save us quite bit?
The trains and buses are packed in the morning and afternoon so I'm pretty sure plenty of us make this choice - and yes, you feel a bit rubbish on packed grotty public transport rather than sitting in a your own fancy car but then, that's the trade off to afford a lovely holiday each year?
Also my mortgage is quite a bit lower than yours but income is higher - it all adds up.

Different people bought at different times and will be at different life stages, try not to compare.

Some people will be envying you, having managed to get on the property ladder, running two decent cars and managing to afford expensive childcare And still finding money for nice stuff like farm visits with your little one. Swings and roundabouts

There are holiday home swap sites where for an annual fee and you can swap to stay anywhere you want in the UK.

This article has lots of info: https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2022/oct/15/home-swap-holidays-stay-for-free-save-cost-of-living-crisis

Personally, I like the camper/trailer idea more though!

Take out the child care payment and you're laughing.
It's always more expensive then.
We rarely had holidays when the kids were little.

I'm sure someone else may have said this but you have said bills £600 leaving £1000 over for petrol and days out.

Bills:
TV licence
Car insurance
House insurance
Netflix
Broadband
Phone contracts
Car tax
Food

I can't see how £600 can possibly cover all of that.

Then there is:

Haircuts
Dentist/prescriptions
Dry cleaning
Child's uniform and shoes
Clothes for parents
General household maintenance
Make-up
Birthdays: gifts and cards
Christmas
A tiny bit of socialising
Parking

I'm not sure you are including everything and when you do, there will be yiur answer.

Less outgoings more frugal and sinplistic. Making short term sacrifices.

My DPs riased us humbly we didn't have "holiday" we would go visit family abroad once every 2 years yo see family not a holiday. We barely did paid activities in the UK. Did a lot of nature and sightseeing locally. DPs worked in factories and able to buy a home cash and after a some time comfortable enough to pay for annual holidays "back home".

If you want to save for something you have to count the pennies and cut back on none necessities. I didn't do paid after school clubs and I didn't suffer. Infact my beat memories were form normal non paid activities. Going to the park, going to the woods, picnics eith family and cousins etc etc.

Parents had 1 car and we would walk to school or get the bus on bad weather days. So from primary age walking 2 miles to school and 2 back. Secondary was 2.5miles each way.

Me and my partner have 2 DC. Granted both are in school but we earn less than you. We earn about £4000 pm after tax. We pay £2500 in total outgoings per month including the house, the car etc. We still manage to afford a foreign holiday for the 4 of us. We book it and pay for it monthly. Then when we get back we wait 6 months and book the next one and do the same thing. It's a brilliant way of doing it as the money comes out ad a direct debit, i don't even notice its gone.

£1600 is a lot of money each month when you also have childcare costs of £1400 and bring in £5000.

And I know it's not a popular view on MN and I expect I'll get shouted down for it, but nobody has to live in the SE and spend nearly 2k a month to live in a terrace either. That's a choice they've made, just like many of us choose to move to cheaper areas in order to free up some of our income.

Why be so picky, it is a large mortgage in comparison to their earnings and other expenses, she wasn’t saying it was a large mortgage in comparison the south east.

op, the bottom line is you spend all you’ve got on other things, that’s why you can’t afford a holiday; others do not. So they can.