How do people pay for a holiday? Decent income and can’t afford it?

This! I’m in a big 3/4 bed in Scotland and my mortgage is half the OPs. In London you wouldn’t get a flat for what my house cost. Location is key with mortgages.

Your childcare bill is phenomenal. There’s your answer. In a couple of years that’ll ease. A lot of people don’t manage any luxuries in the 1-3 years.

Other people do things differently. Some people really plan. We bought a house in a cheap area and as a result were mortgage-free by our mid-30s. We spaced our children out so we didn't have to pay multiple childcare fees because we didn't have family help with childcare like some people. We both kept up with our careers. Took short maternity leaves. We did not spend £1k+ on holidays in the early days. We do now easily and can save for university if the children want to go.

£100k isn't a bottomless pit of money and children are an expensive lifestyle choice. You can't expect to fund a house, two cars, children in childcare, other associated costs, days out, AND £1k+ holidays on £5k a month. That isn't realistic. In your case, when your children no longer need childcare you'll have money for holidays.

But, in general, the more money people have, the more money they spend, so unless you prioritise saving rather than spending on days out and other frittery things you'll never have money for the big cost things.

It's not a big mortgage in many parts of the country. In the SE it would barely get a two bed terraced assuming 10-20 per cent deposit.

10 percent of your joint income on the cars is not cheap.

Our total income is 3k for a family of 3 but our mortgage and childcare only come to £900.

We do prioritise holidays and therefore try not to spend much day to day - second hand clothes, free days out or National Trust (have memerships) with a packed lunch, eating out only when there's an offer on, don't spend anything on hair/beauty etc. Also only have one car between us.

As others have said, you can go away very cheaply on a Sun holiday or Butlins break and we have done both. The beauty of having a nursery aged child and not being tied to school holidays is that you can also take advantage of cheap out of season all inclusive breaks. There are options out there if you aren't too fussy about where you go, aren't expecting perfect sunny weather and are happy to make the most of it.

Request to work from home

You should still have childcare; otherwise what you are doing is looking after your children at home and expecting your employer to pay you for doing it.

I think if you've got £1000 a month discretionary spends and you can sometimes save £300 a month from that, just put £300 a month straight into a holiday savings account and then be strict with the rest. Obvs prioritise spends you have to do like presents etc and then if it gets to the end of the month and you're running short just do a visit to the local park with some pack butties instead of a pub lunch and farm visit. Xx

It's very doable to make £700 stretch, you might have to be alot more careful, maybe buy more things second hand but it's just until the kids start school. At least you can get a term time holiday. Xx

Totally get it. Credit cards for many I think whether they admit to it or not

You obviously have a nice house and high bills because of that nice house. Then you have nice expensive cars. If you had middle range and not high end then you’d be able to afford a holiday.

im so tired of people with decent incomes playing the poverty act

You have high outgoings! We have the same take home and mortgage is 1.3k childcare is £350 and no car payments
We still don't do luxury holidays- we're doing haven twice this year

I disagree that the car payments are what is driving this.

I think they're just part of a bigger picture which is that OP has high outgoings compared to her salary. 3/5 of her income is going on her mortgage and childcare. Another 1/5 on cars and bills. That doesn't leave much, really.

If another family is in her exact position but without the car payments, they're almost £6k a year better off. It's a lot of money when you think about it.

I purposely bought a cheap house so I wasn't overstretched.
I only buy cars with cash and when I absolutely have to.

I think there's a modern expectation that kids need to be having these "enriching" days out all the time, which they never used to. In the 80s and 90s, a day out to something you had to pay for was a treat during the holidays. On a normal weekend at most we went to the swimming baths. The idea that it was even our parents' job to keep us entertained wasn't really a thing. We played amongst ourselves or with friends.

There were more years that we didn't have an annual holiday than ones we did. We were packed off to the grandparents twice a year for a week or so every year, though. They took us to Blackpool or the pictures, and we'd go to the playground everyday, and Nanna always had sweets (rarely allowed at home!).

I don't mean to be all, "kids today don't know they're born" (and I am remembering my Grandad lecturing us about how he had nothing more than an old bicycle wheel and a stick to play with as a child).

Second job pays for mine.

You need to figure out your priorities, particularly whilst you still have those childcare costs. Would you rather have days out to the farm or a holiday?

Are there any places near you where you can get a membership for the year? Maybe a wetland centre or a RHS place? My kids love a good explore round somewhere like that. Family wetland centre memberhsip for the year is about £85. You can take a picnic. We also spend a hell of a lot of time on the local playgrounds. I’m totally bored but again the kids love it.

You need to work out exactly where that 1000 a month is going!

3 bed caravan in the uk on the beach is under £300 for a week during half term. The kids love it!

I'm a single parent 2 kids. Income is ok at £3200 pcm. Mortgage £1000pcm.

We have great holidays but I don't pay childcare anymore and I budget ruthlessly.

Purposeful frugality can really work. I rarely buy lunches/coffees etc. I budget for everything & it quickly becomes very clear what you can & can't afford. Tracking spending enable you to make clear choices.

I still had holidays when I was paying £14,000 childcare per year (those were tough years) but they were cheaper options and less of them.

That's such an arsey answer.

I hear you OP. You should be able to afford a holiday then you both work full time and earn decent money. The cost of holidays has really gone up in recent years! But as others are saying, once you don't have childcare costs it will get easier.

What we do is holiday home swaps. It's not for everyone but we have had great holidays in the UK and abroad and all you pay for is your transport there. In the UK the cost is almost nothing.

Book 18 months in advance and make monthly payments. We usually use jet2 or TUI.

How essential are holidays? As a child my parents would remind me that I lived in Devon and that many people save all year around to spend 2 weeks in a caravan in Devon. We used to have some days out at the seaside, walks in the woods, picnics in National Trust grounds and were allowed to camp in the garden. We never went away.

Also we did uk holidays mainly
Due to Covid but we was going butlins with food in term time for less than 200 for the tots week !

You can't afford it because you've chosen to spend all your money on other things, like a big house and nice cars. You could buy a couple of reliable but not very comfortable Ford Fiestas for £1k each and buy a 2 bed terrace up North for £150k, and set a strict budget so that £1k a month isn't just going on "birthdays and petrol" but I'm guessing that's not the lifestyle you want.

When you no longer have to pay childcare, you'll have £16,800 spare for holidays and savings every year which is massive.

I disagree that the car payments are what is driving this.

Your mortgage and childcare are taking up 60% of your total disposable income. So it’s a question of waiting for your mortgage renewal and trying to secure a better rate, and for the kids to age out of expensive childcare.

For comparison, my HH income after tax is a bit more than yours, but my mortgage is 50% less and childcare around 1/3 of yours (TFC + funded hours help massively). For what it’s worth, I don’t go on holidays either as I’m focused on saving at the moment, but I feel like I have the opportunity to do so if I wanted, with my bills vs income being as they are.

I understand the thoughts behind your question though, it must feel like you are working so hard and reaping so little at the moment. Hang in there, it will get better 😊