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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So saddened

34 replies

Firebox64 · 26/01/2025 13:44

I bought a newspaper in my local independent newsagent yesterday morning. Up on the shelf, but not particularly out of eye line was a set of soft porn magazines including one labelled "100s of Teen Girls Naked Just For You." I stood for a long moment, knowing exactly what would happen if I objected, and then I thought, I can't walk past this. I said to the shop keeper that I thought it wasn't very nice to be selling something like that. The response was aggressive and nonsensical of course, and ended with shouted insults that I am a child and need to grow up. (I am 60.) Grow up...like those teens?

All advice is that this material is not illegal. Neither are knives: how's that going?

There is an obvious slobbery implication here about underage sex. Does anyone know if there is any organisation or campaign that is working to ban this kind of sewage?

I have put a post on the community facebook page, I've contacted my very wonderful MP and I've written to the Chamber of Commerce and Trading Standards. I 'phoned 101 for advice and they said contact the publisher - yes, that's really going to work isn't it?

I was privileged to work with brilliant young people for the whole of my career. I cannot bear to see this perverted view of them being sold as legal merchandise. Any (legal!) suggestions about anything else I could do would be so welcome.

AIBU - this is legal and we just have to put up with it?

OP posts:
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keeptalkinghappytalk · 26/01/2025 16:18

Support for you, OP! How many people stretch ' live and let live ' to include nasty degrading stuff heading in the direction of sex with minors.

Velmy · 26/01/2025 16:02

Did you kick off about the cigarettes or booze behind the counter? The lotto tickets? The lies in the newspaper headlines? The airbrushed women in the fashion mags?

I find older people leching over 'teens' grim, but it's a moral issue not a legal one, and I wouldn't want to police other people's morals.

AzurePanda · 26/01/2025 15:45

I find it very heartening that there are people who still get upset and angry about things like this rather than just shrugging their shoulders.

Lentilweaver · 26/01/2025 15:41

I think this is deeply wrong. Happy to be a mad old bint. Not sure what you can do though.

Butchyrestingface · 26/01/2025 15:39

Firebox64 · 26/01/2025 14:21

I spoke to the police for 6 minutes. Is that all right with you?

No, of course it's not 'all right' to tie up a non-emergency service for something you know ISN'T a criminal offence.

Surely using Google would have helped you identify where to go to raise a complaint (MP, publisher, etc).

Nicknacky · 26/01/2025 15:31

SoTiredNeedHoliday · 26/01/2025 15:24

@Nicknacky is a magazine shouting "100's of teen girls naked - just for you" not a police issue? Do you know all the stats about teenage sexual abuse, teenage exploitation, not to mention the paedophiles or potential paedophiles that may get one step closer by being tempted by things like this? I'm surprised that you take offense with a 6 minute call, that may lead to preventing abuse.

Personally I find the title offensive and can't believe its legal to advertise a magazine that way.

I'm one of those that feel at 18 you are not quite ready to make a clear informed decision that being naked in a porn magazine is your best bet for a good future. I suspect it feels like their only option, hence exploitation.

What do you think the police can do about a legal publication (no matter how unpleasant we may find the subject matter)? Genuinely, what makes this a police matter?

SoTiredNeedHoliday · 26/01/2025 15:29

ItGhoul · 26/01/2025 15:27

The ‘teen girls’ in top shelf mags are all adult women (and most of them are in their 20s). So there is nothing illegal happening. I completely understand why you found it offensive and yes, it’s grubby and depressing, but these are adult women and clearly no law is being broken so I’m really not sure what you expected to achieve by phoning the police. You might consider the material harmful, but so what? It’s still perfectly legal. Cigarettes are harmful. Alcohol is harmful. But presumably you don’t kick at shopkeepers and phone the police about those.

everything is legal until its not, I guess that is what OP is getting at.

Should it be legal to advertise ' teen girls naked' ..... Also it is misleading if they are actual 20+

ItGhoul · 26/01/2025 15:27

The ‘teen girls’ in top shelf mags are all adult women (and most of them are in their 20s). So there is nothing illegal happening. I completely understand why you found it offensive and yes, it’s grubby and depressing, but these are adult women and clearly no law is being broken so I’m really not sure what you expected to achieve by phoning the police. You might consider the material harmful, but so what? It’s still perfectly legal. Cigarettes are harmful. Alcohol is harmful. But presumably you don’t kick at shopkeepers and phone the police about those.

SoTiredNeedHoliday · 26/01/2025 15:24

Nicknacky · 26/01/2025 14:23

No, it’s not actually. People need to stop picking up the phone to police for things that are not a police matter. You might think it’s only “6 minutes” but it’s 6 minutes you stopped an operator actually helping someone who needed the police for a police matter.

@Nicknacky is a magazine shouting "100's of teen girls naked - just for you" not a police issue? Do you know all the stats about teenage sexual abuse, teenage exploitation, not to mention the paedophiles or potential paedophiles that may get one step closer by being tempted by things like this? I'm surprised that you take offense with a 6 minute call, that may lead to preventing abuse.

Personally I find the title offensive and can't believe its legal to advertise a magazine that way.

I'm one of those that feel at 18 you are not quite ready to make a clear informed decision that being naked in a porn magazine is your best bet for a good future. I suspect it feels like their only option, hence exploitation.

Firebox64 · 26/01/2025 15:16

Thank you for all the supportive comments as you all know very well the “mad old bint” response I experienced. I am heartened to know there are so many of us out there who simply think this is wrong. It would be beyond likelihood that we could shut down the industry (although God bless the Girl Guides) but if it could wither on the vine through lack of sales, that would be a result. I will withdraw from our conversation now but am much cheered to know you’re all out there standing with me.

OP posts:
SoTiredNeedHoliday · 26/01/2025 15:15

@Firebox64 have you thought about possibly advertising standards authority? I know its not an 'advertisement' but perhaps the Title and the situation where the magazine was located may be of interest to them or they could point you in the right direction?

Newspapers, magazines and printed materials

Helpful information about the advertising rules for ads appearing in newspapers, magazines and other printed materials.

https://www.asa.org.uk/media_channel/Newspapers_magazines_and_printed_materials.html

Hairyesterdaygonetoday · 26/01/2025 15:09

Nicknacky · 26/01/2025 14:20

So you wasted police time knowing full well it had nothing to do with the police? The police are not there as some kind of advice line!

This is the trouble. It’s nothing important, only girls. The ones on display, and the ones who see those images being legally traded and learn that’s what they themselves are worth, and the ones later abused by the boys who also learnt that’s what girls are for …

Nothing important.

AzurePanda · 26/01/2025 15:02

@Nicknacky Given the police spend an estimated 60,000 hours annually on Non Crime Hate Incidents I can’t get too wound up about a 6 minute conversation relating to the sexual exploitation of teenage girls.

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 26/01/2025 14:58

"Teen" porn has been one of the most popular categories for a long time. I'd be very surprised if any man who watches porn hasn't watched at least one video in this category. See also "barely legal". Other very popular categories are "Japanese" and "Hentai". My guess is these categories are popular because young Japanese women are often considered to look younger than they are, and if you look up Hentai you'll see that the animations show what look like young girls.

OP, what is your aim? To ban the magazine, or to ban the category altogether? I don't think you'll be able to do anything about the magazine because the publisher will say the title is referring to 18 and 19 years olds. The category will never be banned because the fantasy of the underage girl (and sadly in many cases, the reality) is never going to go away. It's horrible, but this is why I'm single.

Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 26/01/2025 14:26

There is a newsagents near us that sells that stuff. I refuse to go in there and go in one of the others instead.
"teen girls" is particularly vile. And clearly of interest to a particular sort of urgh man.

Superhansrantowindsor · 26/01/2025 14:26

A community based approach is good. I also think contacting your MP was a wise move. Do you know the publisher? I would certainly contact them. Perhaps post on the Feninust board as there are knowledgeable posters there involved in campaign work.

Nicknacky · 26/01/2025 14:23

Firebox64 · 26/01/2025 14:21

I spoke to the police for 6 minutes. Is that all right with you?

No, it’s not actually. People need to stop picking up the phone to police for things that are not a police matter. You might think it’s only “6 minutes” but it’s 6 minutes you stopped an operator actually helping someone who needed the police for a police matter.

Firebox64 · 26/01/2025 14:21

I spoke to the police for 6 minutes. Is that all right with you?

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 26/01/2025 14:20

Firebox64 · 26/01/2025 13:55

I 'phoned to get advice about what the best response would be, knowing that this is not a criminal offence.

So you wasted police time knowing full well it had nothing to do with the police? The police are not there as some kind of advice line!

Mischance · 26/01/2025 14:19

I too a saddened.

What a culture where this is both normalised and legal.

I hope your social media campaign leads to a boycott - hit him in the pocket. His aggressive response is entirely inappropriate.

Firebox64 · 26/01/2025 14:19

I agree, it doesn't improve the argument much but it's probably true the models are older and being made to look younger. That speaks volumes about those buying these magazines, doesn't it?

OP posts:
HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 26/01/2025 14:16

Timeforaglassofwine · 26/01/2025 14:09

I don't know what you can do about it, but I would be as equally appalled as you. I've always been uncomfortable about the age of consent being 16, especially in relationships where a large age gap makes for a power imbalance.

I actually thought of age of consent was older for some reason.

In reality, the women appearing in these magazines will probably be older, but just airbrushed or made to look like teenagers. Which is so creepy - I remember being hit on by older men when I was in my school uniform, it was horrible.

Timeforaglassofwine · 26/01/2025 14:09

I don't know what you can do about it, but I would be as equally appalled as you. I've always been uncomfortable about the age of consent being 16, especially in relationships where a large age gap makes for a power imbalance.

HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 26/01/2025 14:06

OP, I understand your frustration, it's quite sad that this stuff has been totally normalised. Porn and porn culture is so much more visible and accessible now.

I remember having a discussion/argument about the availability of stuff like that with a guy around my age (40) a few years ago, and he was very dismissive of any concerns - and then I said something like 'what if it was showing/ implying loads of naked teen boys' - well his face dropped, he was disgusted, I could almost hear him thinking 'ew'.

And not just because he's not attracted to men, it's like he never thought of that kind of stuff, because men aren't really confronted with this like we are. They don't think of or see, or really care I suppose, how damaging things like this are to young women to see everywhere.

AzurePanda · 26/01/2025 14:05

Well done for trying to raise this, it’s completely disgusting.

I recently listened to a podcast on Pornhub and their utter failure to police child pornography, my god that site is appalling.