To think that wolf whistling wasn't such a bad thing?

You know what I find interesting? I walked past the same buildings sites aged 11-early teens and was whistled at repeatedly. Not every builder. But, and this is a big but, if it happened repeatedly, that means the whistler wasn't reported, wasn't had-a-word with, wasn't fired, wasn't thumped by the dads who were builders, wasn't taken aside.

The other builders heard it, saw me, knew what was happening. So even if every builder wasn't a pervert, and many clearly were for it to happen in more than one place, most of the builders didn't care enough to do anything about it. Which reflects my general experience. Hundreds of incidents of street harassment (some of it really unpleasant and sometimes physical), I can count on one hand the men who intervened, even to check I was OK. One of those men was a stranger who is still a friend to this day.

And in terms of numbers, somewhere around 1-3% of men find children attractive sexually. So yes, there probably is one on a decent sized building site.

The only time I've ever thought 'fair play' when harassed in the street was in another country, DH (who looks like a harder, taller Mike Tyndall) was with me, and it was a pure compliment, not creepy. I didn't feel unsafe and I over 30. Maybe that's a compliment, said honestly. That was not my experience as a child.

@Bbq1

In that case, i don't believe pp's saying they have seen 10 year olds behind whistled at. In your world, because you haven't experienced something,, you accuse people of lying about it. I'll do the same.

I was a child when I was wolf whistled at repeatedly. I therefore know men wolf whistled children. Because I was one of them. That's a fact.

You were wolf whistled by builders. You cannot have known their ages for certain. You don't know that all of them were in their 20s. So it's opinion, not fact.

You say they only wolf whistled women over 18. You don't know what they did when you weren't there. So it's opinion, not fact.

They street harassed what was available to them ……

You’ve really not proved a point here at all!

oh I see no children around for them to street harass, so they didn’t!

Slow hand clap for them….. aren’t they just great.

But you keep trying to say they did it as a choice.

City of london

all office blocks ( some under construction hence builders) and no schools in vicinity

women in power suits carrying briefcases

get the scene?

so again I’ll ask, how do they ID these 18 year old? Passport? Driving license?

Yeah, they don’t! They’ve no idea how old they are.

In that case, i don't believe pp's saying they have seen 10 year olds behind whistled at. In your world, because you haven't experienced something,, you accuse people of lying about it. I'll do the same.

Maybe we are all getting “tough”, which you advocate.

Also, the hypocrisy of you calling the opposing view yo yours out, yet women shouting hysteria you seem to have missed.

Good to see 73% of voters thing YABU.

Yes, it's good you have some insight into your behaviour. Well done.

Meanwhile, the women and children who find strange men making weird noises at them harassing, distressing and horrible will just continue to state those facts. And those who enjoy having strange men make weird noises at them will continue to do so.

Anyway, your original question has been very clearly answered. Many many women and children despise street harassment, regardless of what you and Ms Lumley choose to believe.

Did you think if you started a thread you could tell other people what to say?

The fact that your original post has met with wide disagreement in clear and fair terms must be annoying, but try to contain yourself, you are coming across as trying to police the words, feelings and experiences of others.

😆 Yep, as you know Ms Lumley very much did imply (as you know I said imply not said) that women and children who are horrified and degraded by street harassment are weak when she stated I think we were a little bit tougher then. Somebody put their hand on your leg, you didn’t feel affronted and report it.

That can't be argued.

But you already know that 😅😂😆

Yep women and children who hate and detest street harassment are indeed allowed to have a different opinion to you. Thanks for understanding that.

But if you enjoy strange men making weird noises at you, no problem.

You do you.

Noone said anything about being weak, people are allowed have a different opinion, doesn't make it wrong, and stop with the stupid "you do you", seriously how old are you🤣

The OP asked the question if wolf whistling - or as it is now better known as street harassment - wasn't such a bad thing and then quoted for some reason Joanna Lumley opining that street harassment was great and implying that loathing fearing and detesting street harassment makes you weak.

The OPs question was then robustly answered. Lots and lots and lots of women and children loathe and detest street harassment. And no, that doesn't make them weak.

If however, you enjoy or enjoyed the attentions of strange men making noises at you, nobody has suggested you should not though many have no idea why you would.

Not agreeing with the minimisation of street harassment and refusing to pretend it was acceptable, fun or harmless for many women and children doesn't prevent anyone from enjoying strange men making noises at them. You do you.

Don't you know you're not allowed have a different opinion or experience, the herd will grind you down and make you start thinking they're right...imagine not being allowed say you didn't mind a wolf whistle and you didn't experience huge discomfort, how dare you, disgrace to women blah blah

@aliceinawonderland

This is the just of this whole thread.

I mean it's not though, is it?

Literally nobody has said that all builders in the 80s / 90s wolf whistled at children. Or that it makes them all paedophiles.

You've just extrapolated that from people saying that it was common place to be wolf whistled at by builders as children.

Common / regular doesn't equal 'all'.

Did someone suggest that? I must have missed it.

Men who make strange noises at women they don't know are certainly weirdos though. How you feel about their weird, predatory behaviour is entirely up to you though.

I answered your question above.

But anyway suffice to say that I never felt intimidated by the builders in the City, but certainly do here!!

They never made me feel lesser or worthless, but you lot have suggested that I must have such low self esteem to want the attention of weirdos.

Thanks for that

I'm off

Yes I am! I do not believe for one minute ALL the men wolf whistling at you were in their 20s. No more than I believe that @Bbq1 experienced women over 18 only being whistled at.

You’ve evaded my question as well, why did you enjoy it?

In 2018 a member of the public made a submission to Parliament on the frightening effects of street harassment.

"I’m submitting this information because as a young women (1980s and 1990s) I know that I was altered by my experience of street harassment, I was fearful when on my own in the street (not just at night). I felt the need to be constantly watchful. I feared harassment could turn into physical or sexual assault and that if it did I wouldn’t get justice. I believe this is still the case for young women today and that unless something is done to change it, nothing will ever change. I also believe that repeated sexual harassment can be a factor in women internalising unhelpful stereotypes.
Summary in bullets
General

• Harassment is pervasive and happens very regularly to many women.
• Some men, and groups of men, seem to consider it acceptable and probably harass women every day for it to be such a regular occurance.
• It is not always intended to be malicious or aggressive but can lead to the target feeling vulnerable, exposed, unsafe and abused.
• The target always feels objectified.
• Sometimes harassment is aggressive, filthy, deliberately abusive and designed to shame women.
• Sometime if you ignore, answer back or politely reject the man’s comments you can be subjected to a torrent of vile abuse. This can feel extremely threatening.
• I cannot count the number of times street harassment has happened to me, it is really regular.
• Comments are often sexual and about your personal appearance.
• Women are often taught to placate people and to not escalate situations, this can lead to serious under-reporting of this problem.
• The very real risk of attack looms large in the problem, this is the background fear in the mind of the woman when they are harassed.

Circumstances

• Some men in vans (alone or in a group) shout out to female pedestrians vulgar comments.
• Men in groups are more likely to exhibit this behaviour.
• Some men who’ve drunk alcohol will make vulgar comments to women.
• Some men harass waitresses and bar staff in a public way.
• Some men will deliberately sit or stand next to you on public transport in order to harass you.
• The more a woman is out in public, the more harassment will happen to you. Therefore it predominantly happens to young women who walk and use public transport, although it can happen car-to-car in a traffic jam (this has happened to me).
• It happens more to young women and school girls than to older women.
• If a woman is on her own her she is more likely to be targeted than if she is in a group. If she is in a mixed group, it is very unlikely to happen.

Locations

• Building sites, football crowds, crowds near busy pubs on match day, lone men outside pubs, men shouting things from cars or vans, on public transport and walking along the pavement."

Consequences:

• Women can feel that they can’t have power in a public space, that they have no option but to accept this as part of the culture. They have to put up with it.
• Many women believe there’s nothing you can do and they try to not dwell on it.
• It can ruin your day.
• If a women already has problems or difficulties in her life, the experiences of being targeted can make her feel worse.
• Women can feel that have to operate by men’s rules in a public space.
• Street harassment is just one aspect of the incessant negative social experiences based on their gender that some women can have to deal with, these can have a significant effect on women’s mental health. Women have higher rates of mental distress.
• As there is no clear and effective way to challenge this behaviour, it can feel like your power and self-determination have been taken from you.

She goes on to list some of her own experiences. It's a good submission, we've all been there.

What a shame some are still telling women to put up and shut up.

https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/87801/html/

@Nonaynevernomore
Are you calling me a liar?

And yet I believe those who had different experiences!

The point is NO MAN should be wolf whistling at anyone.

Some women like bondage and S and M. They don't go round telling people being physically assaulted is fine because they enjoy it.

It was never a 'bit of fun', what is fun about it?

And it was sexism and sexual, why else would they do it?

So now we have “they were in their twenties” to add to “it was only to woman 18+”, what a load of nonsense!

if your mind was on other things why did you enjoy it?