Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think that wolf whistling wasn't such a bad thing?

813 replies

NovemberMorn · 26/01/2025 13:41

Joanna Lumley has just given an interview in which she says..."I never minded wolf whistling, I always thought it was tremendous".

She also said... "I think we were a little bit tougher then. Somebody put their hand on your leg, you didn’t feel affronted and report it. You’d give them a slap.”

Do you think she is right?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Original poster
NovemberMorn · 26/01/2025 15:32

Youngheartsalittletogetherness · 26/01/2025 15:29

I would imagine you'd be sacked now for cat calling at a child and personally I wouldn't work with someone who shouted sexual comments at children.
Plus companies have a reputation to protect.
What company wants a reputation for employing nonces.

Show quote history

Some truth in that.
My son worked on a building site between college. Wolf whistling was definitely frowned on..by the other workers. I dont think management ever had to get involved, it just didn't happen.

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 26/01/2025 15:32

She also said... "I think we were a little bit tougher then. Somebody put their hand on your leg, you didn’t feel affronted and report it. You’d give them a slap.”

Wonder how she'd have felt if one of those men she slapped responded by punching her in the mouth (or worse)?

Katemax82 · 26/01/2025 15:31

I fucking hated it, especially aged 13

Nicecuppatea2025 · 26/01/2025 15:31

Beepbeepoutoftheway · 26/01/2025 15:16

Predictable because its true.

Obviously women can do no wrong on Mumsnet though.

Show quote history

That’s simply not true.

Edit for clarity: not true that women can do wrong on Mumsnet

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 26/01/2025 15:31

NovemberMorn · 26/01/2025 14:10

I didn't say that.
I do think that some men feel so constrained nowadays, they are scared to even look at a woman.

Show quote history

Good. If they're that useless then they should steer clear altogether. Women don't need these nitwits whom the world has been geared to pander to.

Considering that these whistles and comments were shouted at schoolgirls in uniform (in my case) I think that any woman who felt flattered by this is a bit odd.

I'm glad that it's wholly disapproved of now, we do not need whistles or comments for daring to exist.

Original poster
NovemberMorn · 26/01/2025 15:30

ThermoDaze · 26/01/2025 15:28

Joanna Lumley also choses to work with a repeat male TV crew on her documentaries who have been knocked into shape over the years by others.
Maybe she should branch out, pick up different crew that are a bit more old school in their approach. Still plenty of them out there. Suspect they'd be sacked at the first comment.

Show quote history

Come off it, she does various different things, acting, documentaries, do you think she has the clout to carry her own TV crew with her on everything she does?

OP posts:
Time40 · 26/01/2025 15:30

God, I used to absolutely HATE it. Sometimes it made me so, so angry I'd shout at the nasty buggers and tell them they were idiots. The other thing I'm glad is (mostly) gone is men honking the car horn as they drive past - oh, and "cheer up love, it might never happen".

The thing I didn't mind though was men coming up to me in the street or in bars or wherever to ask me out. None of them were ever pushy about it and I always found it rather flattering. I've seen people on here say that they hated that.

Youngheartsalittletogetherness · 26/01/2025 15:29

Newmumhere40 · 26/01/2025 15:25

Used to?

Show quote history

I would imagine you'd be sacked now for cat calling at a child and personally I wouldn't work with someone who shouted sexual comments at children.
Plus companies have a reputation to protect.
What company wants a reputation for employing nonces.

TheWorminLabyrinth · 26/01/2025 15:29

Beepbeepoutoftheway · 26/01/2025 15:16

Predictable because its true.

Obviously women can do no wrong on Mumsnet though.

Show quote history

It isn't true. Men are responsible for 98% of all sexual crime.

If you want to start a thread about drunk women harassing bouncers then go ahead.

Original poster
NovemberMorn · 26/01/2025 15:28

OldTinHat · 26/01/2025 15:24

When I was 14 (53 now), I used to walk to school with friends past a building site. The cat calls and wolf whistling was constant.

We all got so fed up that we reversed it.

We left notes on their vehicles, we'd shout that we were in love with them, make mix tapes and play our stereos super loud outside the site.

It took, what, three days and they then left us (and we, them), alone. The remaining few weeks it took them to build several new houses, they were silent and didn't even look at us.

As has been said...women and girls handled themselves back then.
I never saw myself as a victim even though I grew up in that era.

OP posts:
ThermoDaze · 26/01/2025 15:28

HelloMyNameIsElderSmurf · 26/01/2025 14:49

99% of 'boomers like this' pushed back, got page 3 banned, got things like the Considerate Construction code off the ground, went to work in construction (though not enough of us to be fair) and told enough men to fuck off that wolf whistling has now become largely a thing of the past.

Joanna Lumley doesn't speak for me or for most people our age.

Show quote history

Joanna Lumley also choses to work with a repeat male TV crew on her documentaries who have been knocked into shape over the years by others.
Maybe she should branch out, pick up different crew that are a bit more old school in their approach. Still plenty of them out there. Suspect they'd be sacked at the first comment.

Newmumhere40 · 26/01/2025 15:25

thepariscrimefiles · 26/01/2025 13:46

Nope. Builders on building sites used to wolf whistle at school girls on their way to school. How on earth would that be OK?

Used to?

Original poster
NovemberMorn · 26/01/2025 15:24

StrawberryWater · 26/01/2025 15:20

Oh and the first time I was wolf whistled / approached by an adult man was when I was 10. Some dude in a car parked up by the shop I was going to for some sweets asked if I'd been broken in yet. I told my dad and he dragged the man out of his car through the window and kicked the shit out of him.

Disgusting perverts, praying on young children.
But I honestly don't think that has stopped in these enlightened days of wolf whistlers being frowned on.

OP posts:
OldTinHat · 26/01/2025 15:24

When I was 14 (53 now), I used to walk to school with friends past a building site. The cat calls and wolf whistling was constant.

We all got so fed up that we reversed it.

We left notes on their vehicles, we'd shout that we were in love with them, make mix tapes and play our stereos super loud outside the site.

It took, what, three days and they then left us (and we, them), alone. The remaining few weeks it took them to build several new houses, they were silent and didn't even look at us.

derxa · 26/01/2025 15:24

Youngheartsalittletogetherness · 26/01/2025 14:28

The 1970s is a bygone era and the attitudes that prevailed then belong there .. firmly in the past.
Men that shout obscenities at girls/women are scum.

I grew up in 60s and 70s and don’t recognise the MN portrayal of that era at all. As a girl and a young woman, I felt safe. Just because Benny Hill was on the telly it didn’t mean ordinary men behaved like that.

stonefall101 · 26/01/2025 15:24

bittertwisted · 26/01/2025 15:05

Why is it that shouting down a woman having her own thoughts or experiences is allowed?
To me some women want to control other women to as much a degree as men do

I don't care about a wholf whistle
I would defend and protect a girl that did

I happily wear provocative clothes that show off a body I've worked hard for, and I don't care if that brings attention

Have absolutely no issue in myself with enjoying male attention

I have a first, I am very senior in a competitive tech industry

It's MY choice how I feel, I don't need men or women telling me how I should react

You are spectacularly missing the point.

Women objecting to J L saying she's fine with being objectified are not objecting to her choice of being fine with it, they are objecting to the impact her being vocal about it has for ALL women.

Youngheartsalittletogetherness · 26/01/2025 15:22

StrawberryWater · 26/01/2025 15:20

Oh and the first time I was wolf whistled / approached by an adult man was when I was 10. Some dude in a car parked up by the shop I was going to for some sweets asked if I'd been broken in yet. I told my dad and he dragged the man out of his car through the window and kicked the shit out of him.

Broken in...I always hated that term 🤮

PigInAHouse · 26/01/2025 15:21

Beepbeepoutoftheway · 26/01/2025 15:16

Predictable because its true.

Obviously women can do no wrong on Mumsnet though.

Show quote history

It is wrong when women do it too.
Far fewer women do it than men.
Men generally aren’t scared of women.

StrawberryWater · 26/01/2025 15:20

Oh and the first time I was wolf whistled / approached by an adult man was when I was 10. Some dude in a car parked up by the shop I was going to for some sweets asked if I'd been broken in yet. I told my dad and he dragged the man out of his car through the window and kicked the shit out of him.

RosesAndHellebores · 26/01/2025 15:20

Tara336 · 26/01/2025 15:14

@RosesAndHellebores I disagree I never learnt how to handle myself. I was sexually assaulted at work while 8 months pregnant by a much older man who was senior to me. He had probably been getting away with that shit for years. He even tried to blame me because I didn't tell him to stop, but being paralysed with fear does that to you.

I'm sorry to hear that. I always avoided anything like that despite attracting attention in my late teens/20s - I don't quite know why but I was quietly confident and could be a bit frosty.

thecherryfox · 26/01/2025 15:18

My issue is that I got wolf whistled a lot more as an ugly teenager than I did as a late 20’s ‘conventionally attractive’ woman. There’s no many others with the same experience where we got wolf whistled as actual children and not as adults.

Itsaswelltime · 26/01/2025 15:18

Being an 11 or 12 year old and having intricate knowledge of every building site around home and school, and taking sometimes huge detours to avoid them and whenever I did pass one having to steel myself for the wolf whistles and cat calls. I was short and had no womanly figure, was wearing school uniform and no make-up. Fucked up behaviour from adult men at work that could not have been ‘cancelled’ sooner.

BiggerBoat1 · 26/01/2025 15:18

Toseland · 26/01/2025 15:04

I think she's partly right in that men do need to be told and that did work sometimes... 30 years ago.
However... the world has changed for the worse for women. Porn, Drag and 'Trans' now reign, degrading and openly mocking women. Men won't be told. Groups of young men openly stalk and harass women and girls in the city centres. These men have no respect for women at all and in fact enjoy any distress caused, it excites them.

I don’t know why trans is in inverted commas or linked with porn. This is an interesting debate and doesn’t need your transphobia. It adds nothing and is offensive.

StrawberryWater · 26/01/2025 15:17

I don't think wolf whistling has ever been acceptable. My great grandmother used to tell me she bashed anyone who did it to her with her handbag!

Beepbeepoutoftheway · 26/01/2025 15:16

TheWorminLabyrinth · 26/01/2025 15:06

Ah, the predictable "women do it too".

Show quote history

Predictable because its true.

Obviously women can do no wrong on Mumsnet though.