To think that wolf whistling wasn't such a bad thing?

Don't know, but I do know I was extremely attractive back in the day and was told so regularly by men and women alike. I didn't think above it that deeply tbh. They saw an attractive woman, wolf whistled, maybe made a comment then passed on. Maybe they ww at a few women that day but I don't think any man wolf whistles indiscriminately at "anyone, even kids"😂

How do you explain saying -

Of course boys should be educated too, it goes without saying, if boys/young men/adults, stopped harassing women, there would not be a problem.

You've acknowledged that the harrassment needs to stop, you've acknowledged boys need to be educated in order to stop them harassing girls, but you're, inexplicably, defending their right to continue.

I hated it. Still do, but not on my own behalf anymore, as it certainly doesn't happen now that I'm in my fifties. And that's the point. These men are deciding which women DESERVE to be noticed, based on their age, their body, their face and often their clothes. I remember feeling very uncomfortable when it happened to me but, worse still, I thought it was MY fault that I didn't like it. It's not about appreciation at all. It's about control.

@NovemberMorn

"As has been said...women and girls handled themselves back then."

Women shouldn't have to handle themselves. What a mind numbingly idiotic idea that the onus should be women to physically fight of men who just feel like intimately touching their bodies anytime they please. So by your rationale we should have to slap them around the face? Do you apply the same logic to children who are being bullied? Is the onus on them to find the courage to punch their tormentors. The onus shouldn't be on any victim to defend themselves in any scenario.

Why should women have to live their lives always prepared to kick or slap a man who wants to do what the hell they like? Is that how you want your daughters (if you have any) to live? Apart from the absurdity of your assertion, women aren't always in a position to punch or slap their assailant and it is, in any event, dangerous advice to give anyone. You know this is a misogynistic world, you know women don't get jobs, promotions (or worse) for refusing men's advances. What planet are you actually on? For reference I'm 67 and I've had a fucking life time of being the victim and the observer of predatory male behaviour.

"show us your tits love!"
"I am only 15 and 3/4"
"Oh I am terribly sorry young lady, please forgive me I am a disgusting pervert and will check the ID of the next woman I sexually harrass"

@NovemberMorn

A wolf whistle never harmed anyone, unless the bloke whistling was so distracted he fell of the ladder.

Never harmed anyone? I remember going a different way to school for ages (ironically, a less safer route in other ways) to avoid a building where workmen would whistle at us on our way to school.

I was probably 12 or 13. A child. They would whistle at us and laugh between themselves and some would also shout things about how we looked. They frightened me.

Having adult men make it clear they noticed me and my body, and were confident and entitled enough to loudly draw attention to me and my body, was frightening. Of course it can harm people.

What's flattering about it? They do it to anyone. You must have crippling low self-esteem if you are flattered by a complete stranger ranking your sexual attractiveness in the street.

@tresales

It's like whining your phone got nicked in a bad area while you had it out, its just reality unless you want to live in an asexual world.

Is a woman any more responsible for being sexually assaulted or raped if she is wearing a crop top and shorts versus a long sleeved dress?

Because that would follow the logic of what you've said.

@tresales

But if you insist then yes I think how much skin you show or what you wear/how you present yourself will mean you get unwanted (in some cases) attention

Schoolgirls in uniform tend to get lots of whistles. Silly girls, presenting themselves that way.

I don’t get the ‘flattering’ thing… do you think they deliberately picked you out because you were more attractive than the average? In my experience, they would wolf whistle anyone. Even kids.

Agree with you and Joanna. I found it very flattering too. I think women were more able to handle themselves in the past. So many women now are permanently offended or just hate men.

You are right that if a woman takes precautions she is less likely to be intimidated. But just imagine if, instead of all those years where we taught women how to 'handle it' (and criticising them if they couldn't/didn't) we had spent that time teaching the MEN how not to intimidate women. If we had made it THEIR problem to 'deal with', not ours. If we'd asked them to 'toughen up' and not just go along with what their mates did. If we'd taught them to 'handle' rejection.

Just imagine if we had only spent half as much time and energy educating those causing the problem, rather than excusing them and putting the burden of 'dealing with it' on to young women.

Of course boys should be educated too, it goes without saying, if boys/young men/adults, stopped harassing women, there would not be a problem.

The point has literally smacked you in the face and you've still missed it.

To add, presumably you've read the thread and have seen posts from many women who were wolf-whistled at as children, in school uniform. Those were paodophiles.

They are the same sort of knuckle-dragging, excuses for men who do this to women - any woman. It really doesn't matter what she looks like, sorry to shatter any illusions here. I'm sure you look great but if you didn't, that sort of man would still harass you. Or your daughter. Or any female in view.

That is what so many of us are disgusted with and that's why we will not put up with wolf-whistling and being subjected to disgusting, lewd comments.

I think we were a little bit tougher then. Somebody put their hand on your leg, you didn’t feel affronted and report it. You’d give them a slap

I'm really not understanding what this has to do with toughness.

You like this sort of thing, that's fine.

Many of us do not. Why should we have to put up with it?

It's got nothing to do with spending a lot of money on what you look like, it's everything to do with some men's feelings of entitlement to catcall and harass women.

Sorry, but when your rights to this impinge on other women's rights not to have this foisted on us then yes, we'll be vocal. You are not protecting or advocating for any women with that mindset so please don't believe for a minute that you are.

Yes. A builder wolf whistling or yelling out obscenities is protected by anonymity.

@NovemberMorn

I don't know whether you are a father or if you have any DD's but I suspect you don't because some men only see things differently when it directly affects them.

Why is it on women? Surely it’s up to dads to set a good example to their boys?

I admire your ridiculous reach to blame predatory men on mums who let kids watch iPads in restaurants though. How do you explain the predators who pre-date iPads then??

I think @NovemberMorn is actually saying women must get harassed and then they must try to protect themselves.
Otherwise his posts don't make sense.

NB
this shit all starts with little boys watching stuff on tv unsupervised and progresses to internet crap
we need to be better mothers to boys ,
I’ve just been out for lunch, 3 children under 5 watching stuff on iPads phones etc .
it starts with parents being present!!!!
ffs

How sad is that 😔

My DD is 11 (who I do worry about because she’s gorgeous and looks older than her years) and I’ve asked her about this, she’s never been wolf whistled at but she says she gets funny feelings when she walks past some men sometimes.

Yep, it definitely happened far more to me as a child than it did as an adult.