To think that wolf whistling wasn't such a bad thing?

Nope, saying that I have no idea how anyone could enjoy a creepy weirdo making nosies at them doesn't in any way manner shape or form say or imply that people don't have the right to enjoy creepy weirdos making noises at them.

Haven't seen anyone verbally bullying anyone for enoying being predated on by creepy weirdos - although I did see people standing up to people minimising frightening, sleazy behaviour by men.

And if you're claiming to be frightened and upset by women disagreeing with you in comment sections, perhaps the internet is not for you.

But we aren't saying that it should be brought back. Nor are we invalidating what other people suffered. Being groped as a 13 year old is a crime. They are not the same thing at all.

There is a certain irony however that those who saw it as harmless fun are made to feel that they should NOT have those memories, even though they were not there on that sunny morning in June 1994 , walking past Moorgate station. And actually this is extremely frightening. I feel quite "upset" by the viciousness of the comments on here for daring to have an opinion/memory/belief of a certain point in my life. The verbal bullying of those who dare to have an experience which is outside the "party line", makes a builder's wolf whistle from the top of some scaffolding pale into insignificance.

If we are no longer allowed to have independent thought, then yes, I'd like to go back in time!!

Yep. No idea how anybody thinks an unknown creepy weirdo making noises at you is enjoyable.

There is literally no point in what you have said. A school child going to school being groped between the legs (never mind, she's done alright) and you can't see the connection between that and men objectifying women in other ways. I hope you don't have daughters. Or sons for that matter.

Laughing away rape culture isn't the answer. It's not funny

And he was free to be predatory to numerous other women over the course of his lifetime! As long as they all laughed though.

Fuck I hated it so so so so so so much. I would go out of my way to try to avoid men on scaffolding, men in groups, I would wear headphones and try to pretend not to hear their creepy, awful comments. I hated it SO MUCH. It made me angry, scared and disgusted, not once ever did I feel in any way pleased or happy to have some weirdo making noises at me, or calling to me.

I was over the moon when I learned to drive in my mid 20s and got a car and could avoid at least some of the creepy, greasy male comments.

How dare they laugh, the cheek of them, heres a thought, it happened, she dealt with it, they all laughed and all moved on wirh their life, imagine!!!

God I loved being a young woman in the 80s, great fun times, carefree, I am glad I'm not a young woman in todays times to be honest, sorry you didn't enjoy your youth xx

In stitches? WTAF. A woman was groped and you all laughed because she put him in his place. Did you all carry on jovially eating, did he stay and laugh with you all, did she move places?

And for the record, a predatory man doesn't just stop because a woman threatens to break his fingers. Jesus wept!

This has got to be a wind up!

So scared and yet relationships continue and the world keeps turning. Even though the poor little menz can’t will whistle anymore.

I’m not sure why any of us care what Joanna Lumley thinks anyway. She’s not someone whose opinion I usually take notice of!

I think this thread is going round in circles. Some is us didn't mind being wolf whistled at. Some of us did. And that's that.

I don’t know why people keep banging on about this being in the 70s and 80s. I’m in my 30s and got it all of the time until maybe the last few years, where it’s definitely less socially acceptable.

It was never, ever a compliment. They’re doing it to intimidate and embarrass you. I can’t believe some women took it as a compliment.

15 year old me definitely didn't like being groped and whistled at by grown men no

So, your take away from 19 pages of debate OP is -Wolf whistling was absolutely fine when it was fine, which was at some point in the past when that stuff was fine.
We know this was fine because some women on here found it a flattering ego boosting piece of fun. They think this because they are confident and resilient with such high self esteem and toughness they didn't care about builders, other than wolf whistling ones who were very flattering.
The real problem here as usual is actually women. Because women are demeaning each other by thinking wolf whistling is a bad thing. What women need to do is be tough and resilient and laugh cheerily at harassment then slap the men in the face.
Then everything will be fine like it used to be.

Nope, we were young women who didn't give a toss because we had a confidence and an inner self belief that these men were unimportant in our lives, not big bad monsters waiting to pounce on a trembling little flower.

Are you suggesting that those of us who found it offensive/derogatory/intimidating are (or were) trembling little flowers?

Perhaps we just had higher expectations around how we expected to be treated by men.

Possibly my comprehension is defective but my inference skills are great.

You did suggest that your “very old memory” might be open to question and I agree with you that’s the case. I am confident that the numbers of girls and women who were cat calling men to see their “builders crack” is in the category of slim to none. Maybe this is something you personally did or wanted to do? Hence the question.

Maybe some builders did see it as a "gesture of dominance". However I don't think you should tar all of them with the same brush. It was a bit of a "game" which a lot of people didn't take too seriously including me. In my twenties, feeling young and "free", I walked past the same building site in central London every morning...sometimes it was a whistle, sometimes a "mornin' darlin", they were 20 feet up, I responded with a wave and a laugh...that really was it. Nothing more (for me anyway).
Like a PP I don't feel I should revisit my experience and navel gaze that I was being objectified, as I definitely did NOT feel that was the case. There were creeps around, but these builders were not in that category. It was light hearted (something that seems to be in short supply) and a bit of fun.

If you weren't offended by wolf whistling, you didn't understand what it was.

It wasn't meant to make you feel good, or express appreciation. It was a gesture of dominance, and an assertion of men's right to comment on your appearance. It was an expression of objectification of women, and allowing men to do this encouraged them to take other liberties with women's bodies.

How very flattering.

I've actually been astonished at how much safer streets feel now that companies don't allow this type of behaviour - and I have never been a shrinking violet so I would always give them the finger and swear at them.

Your comprehension is seriously defective, nowhere did I say that I did this, I said that it happened.

If you look back at my posts I never labeled it objectively harmless, and said it's definitely better stopped as so many find it so unpleasant.

I'm merely trying to explain why I personally found it harmless, as some directly asked. I absolutely don't mind being challenged on my assumptions but I don't particularly enjoy having words put into my mouth.

I'm going to leave this here now. Thanks.

@dairydebris

If something doesn't actually offend me, should I be offended? I don't want to retrospectively feel intimidated or victimized by something that didn't make me feel that way at the time.

No, but I would argue that it's wrong to repeatedly label something as objectively harmless just because you didn't feel personally harmed by it.

You can feel unbothered by a certain behaviour but recognise that it's perfectly understandable others do feel bothered and that on balance, it means it's a problematic behaviour.

Well, I thought people were asking if someone wasn't offended ( which I wasn't ) then to explain why. I tried to explain why, and people have tried to tell me why I was wrong to feel that that. Apologies if I misunderstood. Again- I do not say it's ok to cat call, I simply say why it didn't bother me personally.

I do have daughters and a son. They are growing up in a different world, social rules are different. One child would shout back that's it's rude to talk like that. The other might well internalize it and wonder why a man would shout like that. It's a constant challenge trying to parent each appropriately given their different personalities. I'd hope my son wouldn't shout at girls, he's been taught not to comment on women's bodies, good or bad.