To think that wolf whistling wasn't such a bad thing?

Well I guess it's better than being called an ugly cunt.

I never miminised racism, you indicated that the 90s was full of horrible racist men, while it could have been, I personally didnt experience it much then or now but thats not to say it didnt exist, well, newsflash
for you, racism is still very much alive in 2025, and disgusting men are still going about their business, people dont change...so don't dare bring up holocaust because it makes you look ignorant and petty.

What comments that minimised racism? I genuinely can’t see them. You are the only person I can see bringing racism into this.

I think that's for the best really. No need to engage further when you've shown everyone who you are so quickly.

Enjoy your evening too.

I cringe when I see women describing how much they enjoyed the whistles and comments. Oh it was just harmless fun, flattering, women these days need to lighten up etc
Do you realise that those men catcalling you and giving you warm fuzzy feelings (oooh they find me attractive, oooh they fancy me), were also leering and whistling at 11 year old schoolgirls? Are you still feeling flattered by random creepy paedos finding you attractive?
Strangely enough when I left school (and lost the uniform) it stopped but then went in another direction. My first jobs were in workplaces where I was the only female. The office/staff room was plastered with page 3 girls and other soft porn magazine photos.
By this point my appearance was alternative/tomboyish and the men would point at the tit pics and say 'why can't you look like that?'
I was 15/16 and it was gross, creepy and uncomfortable, but I just had to put up with it.

What I find bizarre is how so many adult men publicly and openly leered at, and made sexual comments to 10, 11, 12 year old girls-and it was considered normal. These days they would be considered paedophiles/sex offenders.
So my question is- have these men on building sites drastically changed in 50 years? Or are sites still full of vile creeps that are attracted to under-aged girls but just have to keep their urges hidden?

It was never OK.

Wolf whistling basically reinforced the idea that public spaces were male territory and women were there to be appraised by men on the only thing that counted, their physical attractiveness to men.

I'm not going to say I was traumatised for life by having blokes whistle at me, but it was not 'OK' and it's a good thing that it is no longer socially acceptable, whatever Joanna Lumley thinks.

How are comments minimising racism not relevant on Holocaust Memorial Day?

Some people might argue water isn't wet I suppose but it doesn't make it true.

I wasnt going to answer you, you're actually not worthy of a reply but you really are pathetic, twisting words, and name calling, so childish, have a nice evening

You don’t get to shut down every point of view by bringing the holocaust into it, especially when it couldn’t be more irrelevant. It makes you look silly.

Can't get too worked up about it tbh.

I'm from a generation where most of my female friends are struggling to date because British men refuse to make any kind of move unless you literally jump into bed with them first - we don't recognise this apparent hellscape of men constantly groping us out of the blue but maybe me and my friends are just ugly

Not every woman thinks the same!

Wow

Minimising both sexual abuse and also racism on Holocaust Memorial Day

Thank you for showing everyone who you are.

Off you pop now Donald.

No you were right the first time, I was being sarcastic😊

I can see where she’s coming from, but I don’t think any woman who wasn’t around to actually experience it can give a valid opinion.

Yes we had to put up with little leg touches, wolf whistles etc, but men on the whole felt safer to me. There was some kind of man code where men would check you were ok if they could see another man coming on to you. You knew you could tell any man in the pub that you’d just been touched inappropriately and all the other men would go beat up the perpetrator. Everyone knew what the rules were and weren’t.

No. Sexual abuse/violence has always been a gendered crime. Men make up the vast majority of perpetrators. Women the victims.

Your tone is coming across as sarcastic. I'm sure it's unintentional as no one would deliberately minimise racism or abuse of women 30 plus years ago.

It would be exceptionally inappropriate on Holocaust Memorial Day.

Ah yes , the car honking. Just harmless fun too, isn't it?

Until a car, or two or 7 actually stop, or cut into your path and the men try to strike a conversation. Soooo fun!!!

Same with the wolf whistling, some stopped there, some didn't. Some were a one off, some were regular harassment on a daily basis to the point some women/girls changed their route to school/work /home.

What really boggles my mind is how convinced so many posters are that complete strangers can't possibly have been dangerous. How the hell do they know if they ever went too far? Or abused their wife/girlfriend? Or raped someone? Just because their attention gave them a giggle and a boost ?

It doesn't just stop at the act being harmless (which I could accept as a personal experience, lucky them), but the men apparently are/were also harmless by association.

And just a few more thoughts on this. I used to get men beeping their horns and shouting at me when I walked home from school in my school uniform. It started at age 10. That's a type of wolf whistling isn't it? Is that ok? When would it be ok for men to do that to me? And in terms of slapping men after a grope, I'd be afraid of physical violence in response.

And I'm sure women back then were equally as bad as some of the men, its terrible that you encountered all these dreadful people back in the 90s walking around shouting abuse, and making racist remarks, and just being generally awful, it sounds like the decade was complete hell for you, and theres me thinking the 80/90s was a great time to be growing up as a woman, barr the odd wolf whistle...

She could consider the impact of what she said on her sex class.

No. Sexual violence is on a spectrum of behaviours which are about power and control and entitlement to womens bodies. It's not just that wolf whistling is inappropriate ( I felt embarrassed and nervous when it happened to me) it's about how behaviours escalate and reinforce and entitled mindset in relation to women's bodies. And condoning it encourages a continuation of the attitudes and for certain men a development of the behaviours into more harmful ones.

Me too. Brilliant post.

I think Lumley's mad. When I was a teen schoolgirl and then a young adult, and I'd get wolfwhistled, without exception I felt singled out, embarrassed, and somewhat threatened. One young female and multiple builders - horrible dynamic. I knew they were looking at me as nothing but a sex object and it was a horrible feeling. At university some builders were doing work where I lived and they would wolfwhistle and jeer at female students - only the ones walking alone, mind you - and it made me angry because they were in MY place of work and residence, and I couldn't avoid them while going about my business on campus, so I yelled and swore back at them. There was nothing kindly meant about those jeers and whistles. They responded to my anger in kind. I think they got a talking-to in the end.

It has never once been a positive experience for me to be jeered at as a sex object, and I'm so glad it's frowned on these days.

I think your description is hilarious 🤣

I am imagining.

Harold gropes Maggie under the table. No one but Maggie sees/feels it, so she removes his hand and loudly threatens "I'll break his fingers if you grope me again". Cue laughter to the point of stitches and lots of moving on!! hahahaha!!!! hohoho.....silent pause... "so, who's having the vol au vent"?

I'm invested now, I need to know how that panned out for the rest of the evening and beyond. Did he just get an endearing nick name like Handsy Harry or something? The good ole days!

I guess it depends whether a man who'd wolf whistle at a woman or put a hand on her thigh, would be as likely to Wolf whistle at, or grab the thigh of, a man.

What do we think?

I’ve rarely seen a reply on MN that’s so completely and depressingly missed the point. To read that post and not think “how awful that male violence and aggression means young girls need to live like that” and instead think “see, male behaviour isn’t that bad a problem, girls and women can deal with it by restricting themselves and keeping up constant vigilance so that it’s not them who gets raped” [at least on this occasion, just another poor girl who was unlucky, fingers crossed it’s not them next time and then it will be their fault for not ‘handling themselves’]