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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not replace phone

84 replies

Mumworried1 · 26/01/2025 11:21

Ds 12 lost his iPhone 2 weeks ago, he has also lost his yearly bus pass which was on his phone but that I can get a refund.
oh thinks he should save up his pocket money then buy himself a new phone but this will take months. He gets £10 a week for context.
This is actually the second phone he has lost in 2 years.
my son is asking for a contract phone and will pay £20 out of his pocket money for it but his dad says no as he needs to learn his lesson.
I have found some second hand phones for around £60, my son is desperate for me to buy one and he will give me his pocket money each week he says But his dad is very against this.
my son has been crying, he says he’s bored as he usually watches YouTube on the bus to and from school and he also can’t msg his friends.
What would you all do in this situation.
unreasonable to buy new phone now?

OP posts:
Whyherewego · 26/01/2025 11:36

Just get a cheap secondhand phone to replace it. An android won't cost that much

CoffeeCueen · 26/01/2025 11:36

My dd is a tiny bit scatty from time to time. She has a refurbished iPhone8 and almost no data. She downloads stuff to watch on journeys (she walks 2 miles to school and back with friends, so doesn’t use her phone then).

I think Yabu to not replace the phone. It’s a normal part of life as a kid at secondary school. They use it to track homework assignments, WhatsApp friends, and keep in touch with social life.

I would get a cheap second hand phone and then it matters a lot less if he loses or damages it.

I think it is fine to make a point and say he must be careful, but it’s very easy to lose something small out of a pocket.

Also I assume you have “find my phone” switched on and he has battery life sufficient to track it. Couldn’t you see where it was? If not why not?

Original poster
Mumworried1 · 26/01/2025 11:33

I know shouldn’t really give him a smart phone but when all their friends have one it’s hard, it was the 11 so not the latest version mind.
and yes I was silly not insuring it

OP posts:
Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 26/01/2025 11:32

Sadly today's friendships are very much phone dependant.... Get him a cheap phone he needs to do chores to pay off... My dc never had a contract phone until they earned and paid their own!!

Poppyseeds79 · 26/01/2025 11:31

If he's paying for it himself height be less likely to lose it.

SparklingSpa · 26/01/2025 11:31

Do you have any phone insurance, I get mine with my bank account?

OrangeKettle · 26/01/2025 11:30

In future, insure it.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 26/01/2025 11:28

I wouldn't go the contract phone until hes stopped losings phones, but can't see an issue with buying him the £60 one and him paying you back each week out of his pocket money. He'd still be learning a valuable lesson about finances from that. Lots of adults effectively buy things that way, by paying a portion of it off each week.
ETA: forgot the of

Macrodatarefiner · 26/01/2025 11:24

I think YABU to have given him a smartphone in the first place at that age. If he needs to contact you, you can get a decent Nokia dumbphone from argos for about £25.

Imo I think we will look back on kids that age being given smartphones the same as we do now of parents who gave their kids a pack of cigarettes and a lighter