To expect DH to do nursery drop offs and pick ups?

Yabu. If you both CAN do drop offs / pick offs, you should share it. When I went PT, I started to do most of them and told dh it was shit for me and he needed to do some. We now split it totally equally - he does all drop offs and I do pick ups. Most people benefit from some flexibility in the week and having to fit in with nursery / school times every day ends up dominating the work week.

I should have read the updates before I voted! Based on this, I think that YABU. Let him go in early a couple of times a week, it's only fair if he's facilitating you staying away for work imo

So do you work 5 days and he works 3, but on his 2 days off he has the kids at home?

I'd do two, either one day or both mornings

As a teacher getting in that late puts a significant pressure on him. I used to do this and the mornings were incredibly stressful. You should do some of these mornings.

If roles were reversed, you'd be getting told to LTB in true Mumsnet fashion!

Yes, YABU.

Fair point …. My previous roles before teaching ( got into teaching in my late 30s) which were retail/ office based never needed an early start / out of hours work . When you clocked on you started but if I clocked on teaching with nothing prepared it was would be chaos

You’re meant to be a team. He has to work and nursery isn’t open early enough and you’re working from home. Do the nursery run.
Why do you think your joint child is all his job?

And you’re not answering the question about whether or not you help get the kid ready and breakfasted in the morning.

Not just teachers. There's loads of professions where it helps to get in early

I definitely think you should share.

Exactly he's asking for a sensible reason. He's not asking just to wind you up

It's hard to have a fixed start and end to the day, it feels like you're on a treadmill and never get a chance to catch up.

I would do one day a week drop off, no it's not as efficient, but if I was your DH I'd find it enormously helpful.

Jeepers I originally thought YANBU , but now you’ve said he’s a teacher massively YABU as a teacher I’m at work at 7 am !!! My worst nightmare would be there at 8am , I usually leave the house before DD is awake

Morning prep time for a teacher is vital

I agree with you DH on your WFH days you should help with the school run, it’s nice to give your DH a break and it’s nice for the kids to have mum do it instead of dad! It may seem like a nothing job to you but it can be a right faff and a pain! I say this as a mum who does the school run daily with my DH never helping even on his days off

He’s your partner, talking to you about something that will make his life easier. He isn’t asking you to do it every day, once a week could really help out though. Assuming there isn’t a massive drip feed coming that you do absolutely everything all the time for the dc apart from nursery drop offs, YABU not to do a share of drop offs.

You are being very very unreasonable. I am a teacher stuck doing the nursery runs because my OH has to actually go out and the mad stress when you arrive at school and huge stress trying to get everything ready at the end of the day because you know you can't get in early is a nightmare.

On the very rare occasion my OH has a late start or can do some online training from home he often offers to do the nursery run, I get in for 7.30 and get a huge amount done ans off my to do list.

The idea you could do this once a week for him and you won't is absolutely baffling!!!

Why?

Drop-offs and pick-ups are hard work, they seem to use more energy and brainpower than other tasks, for me, anyway. To do them all on working days and never have a day where you can just start work without that hassle is tough, even if the person is part-time. It’s still 100% of their working days.

But even as I type this, I’m feeling “reverse”.

There we go then. He's not making shit up.

I think as long as it means you can still get back home or to work on time, you should do it on days when he is particularly pressured and needs to get in a bit earlier. It would be different though if it means it would make you late to work.

In your situation I'd probably be offering to do 1 of the 3 days to be honest

We both work hybrid so some days in the office and some at home. We usually try and work it so that if one of us is in the office that person does the nursery drop on the way, however if that person needed to be in before 8 that day the one wfh would just do it. Same with pick ups - if the person in the office is delayed leaving or needs to stay late then the one at home will go out and do it. I think it's good to have some flexibility and as others have said see the staff and other children.

I think on days when he works and you are WFH, then yes, you should do nursery drop and collects.

He should do them on his non working days.

I think you should be doing some of the school runs, yes.

I'm a teacher and arrive at 8:45! 😂 I'm in Scotland though, we're less intense here!