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AIBU?

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For thinking my boyfriend was flirting or being to nice to my bestfriend

64 replies

Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:08

been togheter 3 years.
I don’t mind my boyfriend being nice to my friends i don’t want him to be rude to them ofc. But i think it slipped for me last night when me, him and my bestfriend and another friend of mine celebrated my friends bday. At my friends place.
My friends and bestfriend know my bf trough me.
Anyways. My bestfriend is suuuuper pretty and 101% my guy friends fall for her, i don’t blame them and they give her lots of attention and she is used to it she is not the girl that want a relationship lol. Shes tall, slim, shy, blonde hair and have a very pretty face. But tought my boyfriend would be different. I may be wrong. But i got very mad and uncomfy by him giving small touches at her knees and randoms time when we where hanging at my boyfriends place, and my friend being touchy and getting closer while talking to him at the bar. I think she was drunker than she normaly gets. But i also reacted a bit at the end when we went to my boyfriends place bcs the bus was late (her bus). Then those two where getting really comfy and my boyfriend didn’t Even ask if i wanted to take follow with them to take her to the buss stop afterwards.. she didnt even said anything to me either.. not even a bye or if i wanted to join like wtf.. i never seen her that comfy around my bf before im not sure if i overeacted, but me and him ended up in a small fight after that.. where i told him he was being a bit to touchy with her and he denied.. and was telling me i was being over dramatic.. but i so what i so! I would never be touchy with his friends! Never! nor my friend if she had a bf! I find that disrespectful! Drunk or not! It felt like he was focusing more on her than including me on their conversation.. he calmed down after wards and he said he feelt like an ass for making me feel that way. He said he tought he was being a nice host.. That he was very sorry.. espesially when i asked him if he would like that if i did it to his friends what he was doing to my friend.. idk.. should i talk to my friend to? I think for now the best is to keep distance between them. I don’t think its my bfs job to protect my friend or at least include me! I told him. Like yea ya all can talk but do ya really need to touch each other to do that?! Don’t think so! I know if my mom was there she would 100% told me to drop bothXD

OP posts:
Winterskyfall · 26/01/2025 08:48

I would find it very strange if a boyfriend touched one of my friends more than once in a night. A single pat on the shoulder fair enough, anything more would be off to me.

sunshine237 · 26/01/2025 08:46

WhoisRebecca · 26/01/2025 08:37

I found the post perfectly understandable. I wouldn’t be at all happy with this and would ditch the friend and the boyfriend. There’s no reason to be touching someone else and their behaviour was odd.

Agreed.

Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:46

@ioveelephants

Even elephants are nicer than u..

OP posts:
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:45

@Waterboatlass the sad thing is that we have a such nice relationship! Never had one like this but made me feel like shit. I never been treated like a thirdweel by my own boyfriend before.. i don’t blame him that its nice to make my friends comfy and included! Thats good! But touching? That a bit to much for me. I think my friend also had a bit to much..

@WhoisRebecca
And you right :( i would never do this to them either.., like i can talk to my other friends partner but touching? Yea no

OP posts:
SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 26/01/2025 08:45

Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:34

@nellythe i tried my best. English is not my first language.

Your post was clear to me and hopefully others.
Do you believe your boyfriend is really sorry and will stop being like that with your best friend?

ioveelephants · 26/01/2025 08:43

This reply has been deleted

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ThatCoralShark · 26/01/2025 08:41

I also found it perfectly understandable, please ignore the rude responses.

yes, it sounds like they were drunk and flirting, it does also sound like you’re all very young,

you can’t keep your boyfriend faithful by keeping him away from attractive women. I’m assuming you don’t wish to dump him. So maybe keep an eye.

however he’d be gone for me. As would my friend,

Waterboatlass · 26/01/2025 08:40

So your boyfriend was touching your friend's knee, then they were later excluding you for the conversation? He then minimised your response? That's not ok, there are very few reasons why your boyfriend would need to touch your friend's knee and you don't mention any I'd accept. So that was unreasonable. Excluding you from the conversation was rude. I don't know how you reacted exactly but you were not wrong to object to this.

How old are you ? Do you live together? Is this the first occasion he has behaved like this? I agree I wouldn't particularly be encouraging them to socialise but the point is that you want a partner who you can trust to be with anyone. Not one you have to keep separate from your pretty friends.

This would be grounds for ending the relationship, no doubt about it. However how do you feel compared to the rest of your time together?

WhoisRebecca · 26/01/2025 08:37

I found the post perfectly understandable. I wouldn’t be at all happy with this and would ditch the friend and the boyfriend. There’s no reason to be touching someone else and their behaviour was odd.

Pyjamatimenow · 26/01/2025 08:35

How old are you op?

Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:34

@nellythe i tried my best. English is not my first language.

OP posts:
nellythe · 26/01/2025 08:29

So he touched her knee whilst talking? Depending on the context it’s very hard to say. If I’m honest, your post is nigh on impossible to read.

ColinOfficeTrolley · 26/01/2025 08:26

He didn't throw wine up the wall did he? Was there a wasp about anywhere?

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 26/01/2025 08:15

What?

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