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Original poster

For thinking my boyfriend was flirting or being to nice to my bestfriend

64 replies

Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:08

been togheter 3 years.
I don’t mind my boyfriend being nice to my friends i don’t want him to be rude to them ofc. But i think it slipped for me last night when me, him and my bestfriend and another friend of mine celebrated my friends bday. At my friends place.
My friends and bestfriend know my bf trough me.
Anyways. My bestfriend is suuuuper pretty and 101% my guy friends fall for her, i don’t blame them and they give her lots of attention and she is used to it she is not the girl that want a relationship lol. Shes tall, slim, shy, blonde hair and have a very pretty face. But tought my boyfriend would be different. I may be wrong. But i got very mad and uncomfy by him giving small touches at her knees and randoms time when we where hanging at my boyfriends place, and my friend being touchy and getting closer while talking to him at the bar. I think she was drunker than she normaly gets. But i also reacted a bit at the end when we went to my boyfriends place bcs the bus was late (her bus). Then those two where getting really comfy and my boyfriend didn’t Even ask if i wanted to take follow with them to take her to the buss stop afterwards.. she didnt even said anything to me either.. not even a bye or if i wanted to join like wtf.. i never seen her that comfy around my bf before im not sure if i overeacted, but me and him ended up in a small fight after that.. where i told him he was being a bit to touchy with her and he denied.. and was telling me i was being over dramatic.. but i so what i so! I would never be touchy with his friends! Never! nor my friend if she had a bf! I find that disrespectful! Drunk or not! It felt like he was focusing more on her than including me on their conversation.. he calmed down after wards and he said he feelt like an ass for making me feel that way. He said he tought he was being a nice host.. That he was very sorry.. espesially when i asked him if he would like that if i did it to his friends what he was doing to my friend.. idk.. should i talk to my friend to? I think for now the best is to keep distance between them. I don’t think its my bfs job to protect my friend or at least include me! I told him. Like yea ya all can talk but do ya really need to touch each other to do that?! Don’t think so! I know if my mom was there she would 100% told me to drop bothXD

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 27/01/2025 05:34

@Linni97, you know what you saw and are not overreacting, so don’t allow either of them to gaslight you with a clueless act. Your Boyfriend’s claim of ‘just trying to be a good host’ is ludicrous. They only had eyes for each other, and that was obvious to anyone who observed them.

The flirting, giggling, both being touchy and moving closer, and blanking/excluding you when walking to the bus — absolutely out of order and crossing boundaries. They were both lapping up mutual attraction, flattery, and ego gratification, which was a shitty and disloyal way to treat you.

They let you down in a big way. I would dump them both.

Lampzade · 27/01/2025 05:32

You can bet that he would be really pissed off if you were touching his best friend or allowing his best friend to touch you .
I don’t agree that you should keep them separate . You cannot police the women he encounters. There are beautiful and charming women everywhere
What he needs to do is to respect you and respect boundaries . If he is unable to do this then dump him

Indiagrace94 · 27/01/2025 05:15

Can barely understand it to be honest. But if he was touchy feely I’d be annoyed.

FrauPaige · 27/01/2025 04:49

How would he have acted if you weren't there? When there was no reason to hold back?

Original poster
Linni97 · 27/01/2025 04:35

@Princessconsuelabananahammock9 i know my bf can get a bit handsy when drunk but uasally it just have been a pat on shoulder nothing much, i think it was different this time when we where only a few people, also this other friend of mine likes her but she dosn’t so i think she was more comfy around me and my bf. She said she did try to tell me or that why i didn’t went with them. Like girl.. ur my bestfriend why u deside to just go with someone elses man. I situation was opposite i would ask my friend instead to follow me aswell. But thats me. My bf likes to charm himself up. But i don’t think he needs to play her hero

OP posts:
TaggieO · 27/01/2025 04:34

Do you mean you and your boyfriend were going to stay at his place, she missed her bus and came back with you and then when it was time for the next bus he was walking her back to the bus stop? Because in those circumstances I don’t see why they would ask you - it would be normal to assume the person who didn’t need to go out at night just to walk to the bus stop would stay home?

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 27/01/2025 04:24

Have they ever flirted before this that you know of?

What reason did she give for not saying goodbye?

Original poster
Linni97 · 27/01/2025 04:17

@Barrenfieldoffucks yea, a little «hey u coming with us?» would have been nice! Like yea its nice for my boyfriend and friends to get along but not that comfy or when i end up feeling excluded like im the thirdwheel..

OP posts:
Original poster
Linni97 · 27/01/2025 04:14

@arcticpandas yea is the attention she prob likes. Its not like she haven’t said before that its quite nice to get attention from the guys. I talked to him and told him how it made me feel, not included and shit. That this his last chance, he did show he was very sorry and that he will make up to it me, I also spoke to my best friend why she didnt say anything like not even a bye or u coming? So im def keeping those to seperated for a while and prob look close next time and see how they interact. My boyfriend said at least he didn’t want to drink (alcohol), he is not a big drinker. Think both of them had a bit to much. But i did ecpect better aswell from my so called bestfriend to. Because i would NEVER. Even how drunk dumb i am

OP posts:
arcticpandas · 26/01/2025 16:13

Linni97 · 26/01/2025 15:23

@arcticpandas we all are on our 20s

So old enough to know that this behaviour is not cool at all. If I were you I would say nothing and deliberately hang out together and watch them closely. Your friend may not be in to him but liking the attention. Either way it's wrong. If a friend's boyfriend touched my knee I would jerk back to show that this is not on. Maybe you have to separate from both of them but give them a "last chance" first.

SwerveCity · 26/01/2025 15:52

Sounds like he’s into her, sorry op.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 26/01/2025 15:46

Yeah, I'd fund the bus thing weird too. Kind of allying himself with her, not with you if you see what I mean.

Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 15:23

@arcticpandas we all are on our 20s

OP posts:
arcticpandas · 26/01/2025 11:47

I think you should listen to your gut. Both of them acted wrongly. How old are you OP?

modernshmodern · 26/01/2025 09:29

Ask her if he crossed a line.

Tell him you have no issue with him chatting to your friends but not if it excludes you.

Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 09:16

I know i can’t keep my bf away from attractive people its not that.
but i think after my bf years of hanging with my friend group and suddenly just being me him my «best friend» and my other friend and my bf doing stuff togheter they growed more comforatble to each other. No wrong in that, but touching for me is unessesary or him tryna act like her bf idk. I think imma have one more talk with him that next time i expect him to be less nicer. I don’t mean he should be rude to her ofc not! But like try keep It cool. I know my other friends partners would never even dare, they treat me like my friends friend. They nice and cool with me but thats it. It was almost like my boyfriend was feeling to good about himself with my friend giggling and brurshin it off with him.

OP posts:
Berlinlover · 26/01/2025 09:12

@ioveelephants There’s really no need to quote the entire post.

JMSA · 26/01/2025 09:09

I wouldn't be happy with this situation, OP. Trust your instinct.

Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 09:06

@Sux2buthen thanks :)
i tought i just wanted to see if i was overeacting a bit but my boyfriend has never been this nice to her before.
my bf can be very charming to, so guess.. i just felt kinda like thirdwheel.. because idk he tryna make her feel comfy idk

OP posts:
Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 09:01

@Barrenfieldoffucks thanks im just honest about her being very pretty and charming so it dosn’t suprise me when guys try to protect her or try make her laugh or whatever.

oh we where chilling at my boyfriend’s place since my friend didn’t reached the bus at time.
so they suddenly where sitting there and dhe realised the bus was on its way and my bf just said he come along. He didnt even said anything to me nor my friend when they where putting on jackets and shows, i was at the kitchen a bit to prep snacks.

OP posts:
Sux2buthen · 26/01/2025 08:58

Your English is great, anyone with a second language or more should be respected for it not sneered at by idiots.
And yes, you sound absolutely right, everything you've described is not ok from either of them. Sorry OP

Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:55

@ExtraOnions i dont think he cheat. But i still find it uncomfortable of him. Yea a pat on the shoulder or goodbye hug sure but multiple times knee touching erhm.. and she leaning in closer, where she was also kinda excluding me and talking to him idk. He dosen’t do it with guy friends 🤣

OP posts:
Barrenfieldoffucks · 26/01/2025 08:55

She doesn't sound jealous of the friend at all, just realistic about her attractiveness.

What was the thing with the bus OP?

ExtraOnions · 26/01/2025 08:52

You do sound rather jealous of your friend, it’s not her fault she’s quite pretty.

He touched her knee when chatting .. I mean that’s a bit if a “so what” to me, as you don’t probably any context. Is this something he normally does with other people ?

A relationship can’t survive if you don’t have any trust. If you think your partner is going to cheat with the first pretty girl that comes his way, what’s the point in the relationship ?

Whole thing sounds immature and dramatic.

Original poster
Linni97 · 26/01/2025 08:52

@ThatCoralShark thanks. Rude comments are just sad people with no emphaty.

but i do very agree! I shouldn’t be afraid to have him meet pretty women.. i do expect him to act like my boyfriend around pretty girls without me and with me there..
i never tought my friend would be like this. Now both of them litteraly gave me the ick😭

OP posts:
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