My H is just so fucking miserable when we take our kids out

Sometimes My husband can be like this and it drives me insane. When he's in this kind of mood I just think I wish I'd come on my own, example yesterday we went to a little countryside town. I asked him do you want a drink "no" do you want to go to the pub for a drink "no" shall we get food "no" do you want to go in any shops "no" do you want a coffee "no" so I'm like what are we doing here then because you don't want to do anything.

Ask him to plan how next weekend will look. He can’t complain at his own plans.

When you ask him about it what does he say?

Mine was miserable like this...standing sulking arms folded on the beach, loosing his temper on the way to anything....keen to get back as soon as we were anywhere.

It was one of the many reasons we split, and I get to enjoy them so much more now.

Mine can be like this. Depression is a big thing it’s relentless. Can you sit and have a chat about it when the kids are occupied?

Do I have a husband like this? No.....I think it's fair to say DH was always far more into having kids than me prior to us actually having them. He absolutely adores them and always has. He wishes he had had more time with them when they were little (he worked full time).
You are clearly in a different situation. I would sit him down at a quiet time when the kids aren't around and aski a simple question: "when we were thinking about having children did you 100% want them?" Because if you did how did you imagine it would be"? Depending on what he answers I might follow it up with some very clear feedback something like: "Iit seems like every time we are out with the children you find it unpleasant and this comes across. I worry that the children will pick up on the fact that you don't like spending time with them and that they will start to believe they aren't likeable".
Everyone gives bits of parenting tough and boring at times. But you should work as a team and offload and unwind with each other/other adults when the kids aren't around.

Great big sulking controlling joyless asshole. Your poor children and poor you.

I couldn’t think of much worse than taking small hungry kids shopping!

What kind of activities do you normally do with the kids? Do you plan things together? Does he take the kids by himself? Do you ever take one child each?

Sorry but taking them to a shopping centre would piss me off too. Particularly on a weekend.
Have a conversation and see what he would like to do. Would he rather take them swimming, to the park, out for a walk?

Did he also start eating his own food immediately while you were sorting out the DC and wrangling them? Mine used to do that and it drove me mad. So selfish.

He is very selfish, the type of man who finds himself alone after the children grow up and the wife moves on.

It can be difficult to deal with a sulking 3 year old, but not as difficult as pleasing the big man baby tagging along, with a face like a slapped bottom.

Yanbu, he is.

He has a really bad attitude about the kids and actually I feel sorry for him. He’s probably fallen into this mindset without realising and now is just unable to think differently.

The problem is he needs to be aware that it’s a/his problem. AND want to fix it. If he’s a good person he should want to for everyone’s sake as well as his own.

But people are very selfish so maybe he won’t be able to see past himself.

Your DD’s birthday party is just “another ball ache”? What did he think having children would entail?

My Dad was like this, he just seemed to not know how to be patient around or particularly like small children, he got gradually better as we got older.

Victorian Dad. Yes there are loads who would clearly much prefer if their children were seen and not heard and they were left in peace to do their manly pursuits.
Look at the number who just dump their children in front of iPads or the TV any time they’re left in charge.
Mine didn’t even like occasionally having to take them out, pushing a buggy to do the school run in case people thought he was unemployed! 😂
At least the children have you.
Not giving any solutions as there aren’t any.

I take our DD out on my own, much more fun. Occasionally he will choose to do something with her / us and that’s fine. Otherwise I get on and do our own thing.

Have you tried sending him out with them on his own, then the 'agenda' would be in his hands?

He sounds selfish and it seems like he sees going out with the kids a chore.

What is he like at home with them? Does he spend quality time and interact?

Sounds like you’ve got yourself a selfish man child who needs a good bollocking. Unless he gets one and has a rethink, it’s not going to get any better. You’re just going to end up doing everything on your own with the DC.

Then this is about looking after the kids at all, not being out. If you're out he has to do 50% of the heavy lifting.

I would have a serious chat to let him know that you've clocked this and you will not be "giving him space" all weekend every weekend.

What a fun sponge. Would it help if he chose the activity? Maybe he doesn't like shopping?