AIBU to have babysitting rules...

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable AT ALL. If you say no tv, then no tv. (Same for sugar.) Explain why, be kind about it, but that’s your line.

I'd explain about the tv, but also hide the remotes.

I'd bend a bit on the sugar thing, but let them do it early on. In my experience that gives them the energy to hare around before crashing later on.

I don't think it's that unreasonable, seeing as they asked to do this. I'd say yes, but on condition that (include conditions) and ask if they're ok with that.

Limiting sugar isn't a bad thing for a 2 year old. However, I'd probably compromise a bit on the tv and say 'no tv/phone/ipad after 3pm' to give him time to unwind plenty before bedtime routine begins. They can always play some music or nursery rhymes if they feel it's too quiet.

Having rules like that - yes, unreasonable.

Sharing sone tips and making aware of consequences. Absolutely fine.

So don’t ‘ban tv’ but instead say that he’s got a tendency to turn into a bit of a monster after tv so you aim to keep it to a minimum, particularly in the afternoon. But if need a bit of quiet time then stories work well or Tiddler or Gruffalo on iplayer.

Sugar is a magic potion and gives him super powers to bounce around to midnight. So you try to avoid it in the afternoons, and keep anything like that for lunch pudding at the latest. Xyz make good snacks or treats. (Pain au chocolate being one of my go to’s here)

Thank you for having an open mind @finalstrawb

When I have my little DGCs, my priorities are fun and safety. It's a huge responsibility keeping someone else's children safe. So for instance, when I make a hot drink (and I really do need that break) I need to know that they're still and occupied, and I can relax with it safely.

Of course YANBU - no screens and no sugar is perfectly normal and if they want to spend time with their grandson as they've requested I'm sure they're not planning on parking him in front of the TV anyway, but still I would set out the expectations politely. They won't mind!

I'd just say that you find juice, chocolate etc and too much TV seems to stop him sleeping at night and you'd rather have a good night's rest before work .
And then something to recognise that they're grandparents and obviously want to indulge him a bit , play it by ear.
Not v well expressed sorry, trying to say explain it but relax! Don't make it a major instruction/rule.

If they don’t take it well, then they shouldn’t be babysitting.

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking, but it's a different question as to whether they will take it well. You know them better than us.

YANBU at all. Babysitting where your child comes home unable to sleep is not helpful.

Tell them strictly no TV or sugar.

I think seeing as they’ve asked and it’s not a favour you’ve asked for, it’s fine.

Christ almighty she's only asking for no telly and no sugar. She's providing the food!!! Giving a 2 year old sugary stuff is ridiculous anyway.

What kind of grandparents spend quality time with their children by sticking on the telly?

I don't understand how watching ten minutes of Hello Duggee at 2:30 affects his sleep that night.

I'm not a fan of screens, but as a grandma, that ten minutes part way through, for me to sit still, tune out for a bit and enjoy a hot drink, sets me up for the second half. I simply don't have the energy any more to entertain a two year old for five hours without stopping. It's the equivalent of a tea break at work!

Having read your update, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask - but I’d explain why (the “he’ll be up
all night” is a strong reason and makes it clear you’re not just randomly banning things out of ideology!). Please avoid x because y is a more reasonable way to approach it, I think.

Also why did you post if you're just going to disagree with everyone who doesn't agree with you and be snotty.
Have a day off.

I think you're being ridiculous.
You're that parent aren't you.
Making it look like you're doing them a favour letting them see their GC as you "don't need their time". They should be able to take their GC to their own house rather than being cloistered at yours so you can monitor them and set your rules!
I'm sure they can also find the kitchen to make a lunch for your child and themselves and find spare clothes if they need them. You don't have to do anything, you just need to so you can keep control. Get a grip.

Tell them to have him overnight then they can do what they want and deal with the consequences

No way should you lay down rules, saying no TV at all, that’s utterly ridiculous. Playing with children for 5 hours is a big ask for GP!
I needed to put the TV on for a bit when mine were small just to get a break from it all.
Be grateful for the help. You say you’ve not asked for it but they’re still being kind helping.

I don't think YABU at all!

I have to arrange 3 meals (DS lunch and tea, their lunch), clean the house, arrange all spare clothing.

Why not just let them have their DGC at their house?
When I have mine it's nearly always at my house. If it's at theirs, I make their meals and myself a sandwich. My DD certainly doesn't clean her house in my honour and I know where the children's clothes are if I need to change them for any reason.

I'm going to be the outlier here and say that since they're doing it for their own benefit as much as yours, yes you can explain your parenting approach and the benefits you perceive for your child and ask that they do the same. For example, you can say, "We limit TV to x episodes/before X o clock because it affects DC's sleep, do you think you can manage that"? If they say no, delve into why that is and try to find a solution that works for everyone

Just because they ask, doesn't mean you have to accept. They don't need "alone time", they can visit him while you're at home. You're just being difficult.

No don't be one of those parents. You won't get offers of bay sitting after that. We don't have family near but when they do babysit we trust them enough. It might not be how they parent but they are safe and looked after