AIBU to have babysitting rules...

A wanky list of rules - absolute no
one thing which is a preference and not too onerous on them - fine. We also have a zero screens rule and both grans are fine with it.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all, we’ve said similar things to both sets of GPs (in a very nice way) and they’ve been totally cool about it. If you’re able to be flexible on parts of it, do let them know - ie we’ve set a limit on tv time, no phone videos and have a range of “acceptable” shows / things our DD likes - so GPs can use it! We also buy snacks / make snacks we’re happy with for her so they don’t have to worry - sounds like you’ve done this already!

don’t think it’s unreasonable. Sugar and screens are things we should be consuming with care and we all have different acceptable standards - you’re just explaining yours!

good luck x

This is obviously your first child , come back when you're on your second or third 🤣 You'll be glad of the break and not so overprotective. Lol. Come on , a bit of tv and a piece of chocolate isn't going to keep your child up all night ffs.

I don't think it is unreasonable to say no juice, no chocolate etc. Are they even likely to give those things to a 2yo?

I wouldn't expressly say "no tv", but presumably if they want to spend time with him they won't be planning on sitting in all afternoon anyway, would they?

You believe myths rather than science?
O....kay.

I wouldn't bat an eyelid if the parents of my grandchild expressed their strong wish for no screens or sugar. Surely as a parent/grandparent you only want the best for the family and to make life easier? The parents know their child best, and what works for them. I would feel awful knowing that the parents could potentially be sleep deprived the next day because of choices I made.

Hang on, you say “Chocolate and juice have always been off the table for us really.” And then that when grandparents bring a treat, like chocolate buttons, they are “never to be seen again”. That’s what people are picking up on- it sounds like you are very hard line on this?

It also sounded like you were about to tell them not to feed sugar at all- how that fits in with “granny’s fabulous cooking” being fine, I don’t know!

At least get your story straight.

Yep, like I say, you've been very open to listening to us, but there are clearly some people on this thread who are intensely controlling!

If it's such hard work don't go out and leave DC alone with them, cook a lovely Sunday roast then you all go out for a nice walk or go to the park together. GP's can still have quality time with DC with you in the background and you can keep an ear out on what's going on.

If you and DP are going out and leaving them to it then yes this is for you too, you and DP are getting a nice afternoon together just the two of you.

I wouldn't be cleaning the house especially for them coming round, PIL find us as we are.

Blimey, you don’t take opposing views well, do you!

Plus I have heard a dentist tell someone that they would far rather kids eat a few chocolate buttons (and ideally brush their teeth) than the mountains of raisins and fruit strips that some parents buy their kids which are truly awful for teeth, much worse than a bit of chocolate now and then in terms of oral health.

And there’s the infamous story on here of a mum who wouldn’t let her kids have any sugar at all, even at parties, and the kids were found downing toothpaste in the bathroom!

Grandmother here. Your toddler, your rules..I'd talk to the grandparents, esp about the 'no sugar'. Explain, and leave suitable snacks. Do they have to stay indoors? Set up the buggy, and give lessons on how to fold it up and down. Make sure they can do that. I wdnt have been offended by your requests.

Yes but even if it is it’s a widely believed myth so I’d assume they’d think it would keep their grandchild awake.

No sugar? What do you think you are gaining exactly by sucking all the joy out of your dc's childhood?

Some parents have this obsession with sugar (and TV actually). I'm sorry but I find it utterly ridiculous.

I'm a mum of 4. I didn't impose these types of OTT rules and my adult children have zero cavities...

And as for imposing rules on the grandparents then no, I certainly would not.

It’s not about you or whether you need a favour.

Having a close relationship with grandparents is a good thing for kids. They can mine their grandparents’ experiences of life, have a friendly ear to confide in, go and stay somewhere they are loved unconditionally and yes, which might be a bit more relaxed than home! Plus seeing that different people do things in different ways is very good for kids.

Your rules are I suspect making the experience less enjoyable for both sides- grandparents will be worried they might be doing something wrong and can’t get a break for 10 mins while the kids watch CBBC. Plus it’s not great that they seemingly can’t even be trusted to make their own grandkids’ dinner. My gran was a fantastic cook and I learnt all my cooking from her!

The kids are probably picking up on the stress and not able to get treats that other kids might, or just be indulged a bit.

Unless they are watching squid games for 12 hours or being pumped full of haribo, you need to chill out and let them have some fun.

How demeaning to treat your parents like this “hide the remote”, what every time?

Or, have an adult conversation and agree something acceptable for both?

Another "hide the remote" comment.

For goodness sake. Your parents are not children. And I bet you don't give your child undivided attention for five hours non-stop (or I hope not as they would never learn to occupy themselves). Maybe GP would like to watch the news, for instance. Just let them be, once you've let them know your preferences. They don't need policing.

When my DGCs come to my house, I live my life around them, just as my DD does. So we have lots of fun and play together. But I'll also put the washing on and do the odd five minute chore and let them do their own thing at times.

Having expectations of grandparents that you don't have if yourself when you spend five hours with your child is just silly.

I think it is like begrudgingly agreeing to go to someone’s house for a meal and then dictating what you have to eat.

You can do it but it comes across as rather controlling.

I would stress to them how important the no screen time is and if they won't stick to it then I'd maybe shorten their time there.
Sometimes the tv can give you a breather when looking after small children for a long period of time so maybe 5 hours is a long time for them if they are needing that.

Ditto.

Hide the remote control for the telly. Leave plenty of toys and books out. Suggest they could bring your child out for a walk so leave the buggy handy.
As it's only a few hours and they asked and want to spend time with their grandchild, then in all fairness they should be spending that time with their grandchild and not sitting beside their grandchild while they watch whatever on the telly.

This too, I can spend the afternoon with them, no tv, we forgot the sweets and they are still hyper when I leave 😂😂

So, you recognise it’s important and therefore benefits your child.

So, stop the “it only benefits them” nonsense.

So I’m a nana and I babysit my DGD’’s.

when I arrive my DIL will tell me details “a hand over “ if you like. So

“ girls are fine, had breakfast /snacks so no food before lunch needed, haven’t been out so fresh air would be good if you fancy it, lunch ready they can have a small dish sweets (they have special sweet bowls) before 4, drinks as needed, dinner ready. Tv before 6 no longer than an hour or so”

this is standard handover talk, I know the rules the girls have but she reminds me gently and I’m not offended I like to have it confirmed and there might me changes ie we made cakes they may have one but then no sweets, or “ oh you bought sweets lovely forget the ones I put out but remember girls no after 4 so no pestering nana “

she lets me spoil them and in return I respect her rules.

just to say I love looking after my little family, she knows me babysitting will mean I do some chores at the same time and her girls are happy.