AIBU to have babysitting rules...

OK apologies, I'd be interested to know what kind of rules you have in place? I feel if someone is good enough enough to want to spend time with my kids then I will offer guidelines, if they don't carry them out that's absolutely fine.
I wouldn't be getting high and mighty ,banning them from seeing them again. That's just batshit

Why would I be shocked that there were rules when looking after my grandchildren?

I absolutely think there should be, and I would be following them even if I didn’t agree. It isn’t about me; the parents’ choices should be respected.

Oh come on - you’re saying you can’t look after children for five hours without giving them a screen or junk food?!?! That’s insane.

Fine to let the GPs cook if they want to. Also absolutely fine and healthy to say “no chocolate buttons or tv for a toddler”!

Absolutely, what goes around comes around.

Some people love to be in control of every little aspect. These will be the shocked grandparents one day

Like I said, my rules are not the same as OPs. I have no problems with chocolate/sweets in moderation.

Nobody is stopping anyone having any fun or creating close relationships.

Jeepers you sound like a total nightmare too. Why take the fun away from loving grandparents, you'll regret it when they are gone . Having to follow rules all the time is absolutely no fun for anyone. I have 4 young kids and their memories of fun times with their grandparents are more important to me than some silly rules. God forbid they get an ice cream with sprinkles on a sunny day or a hot chocolate with a brownie on a cold day. It's a special treat, its not like it's an everyday occurrence. I hope all you perfect parents don't have serious guilt when your kids are older.

I don't set rules if my mum is kind enough to look after my children I trust her enough to make her own choices with them, I leave them with my mum knowing full well my kids are loved by her cared for and well looked after !
That said if I felt I had to tell someone what they would need to do I wouldn't leave my kids with them, xx

4 and 2.

How old are your DC?

I have two children. My rules have not changed.

I don’t need childcare, so if you want my children unsupervised then you follow the rules. If I can’t trust you to do that then it’s supervised visits only.

(Probably worth noting our rules are different to OPs though, but the point remains the same.)

Of course not but I don't whip out a scientific research paper every time someone tells me something.

I mean limit sugar is one thing but no sugar as not even a biscuit seems ott

No tv for a 2 year old sounds perfectly reasonable. I would let mine have treats but you got snacks prepared so it will be easier for them.
I don't get this whole "hard to occupy " thing. He's got books? toys? Play dooh? Coulouring books? And he will take a nap I presume. They are there to spend time with DC not to put him infront of the tv? I'm with OP even though I think she's a little bit ott about the sugar:)

As a parent of a none sleeper I completely get your points OP. I think it’s ok to ask them to limit screen time and maybe suggest a park near by they can walk to or get out some of their favourite games just to help them have other ideas. A bit of TV time while the GP have a cuppa would be nice (I doubt they would have done lots of screen time)

As for food, you can prepare the meals but also get your DC to pick out some snacks ready. You don’t have to say please limit their sugar, spin it another way and say DC was excited and picked out a few snacks…so it’s more of a helpful way. And then hopefully they can give them a little sugar but it won’t be too much.

I would't leave a long list of demands but no tv and only give him the food and snacks provided is fair enough. Especially when it's you that will be dealing with bedtime later!

I'm the same. I think I was a very reasonable parent, but there are still things I'd like to apologise to my late (much loved) in-laws for. I saw them as fit and healthy (which they largely were, and I am as a grandparent) but until I started looking after my grandkids (which I love doing) I didn't realise how much my energy levels have dropped. Especially once my DGCs dropped their afternoon nap, I've had to create breaks for myself, and I'm afraid that a gentle TV programme is the most effective way to make one.

I don't feel guilty because the rest of the day is full of fun, activity and creativity. And I have a very laid back DD who trusts me, thank goodness!

Restrict access

Hide the remote

Don’t feed a toddler anything parents haven’t supplied

Its a wonder some of the people on this thread made it to adulthood given they can’t trust their parents to look after and feed a child!

And the no chocolate at all thing is sad.

I think it’s totally reasonable. You’re leaving food and you say no TV, they want to spend time with them so play and interact. I’d be quite surprised if anyone fed a toddler something not supplied by parents unless that was discussed.

id be upfront and explain why if you suspect they would potentially ignore you. If they do these things then I’d certainly restrict access

Ah the lesser spotted "spirited child"
as described by the OP

It depends a lot on the age of the grandparents. I’m fit and healthy in mid sixties, and look after my 3 and 5 year old grandkids regularly. A day of that is seriously hard work, and I wouldn’t manage without using a bit of tv and the odd biscuit. I need the odd break. I don’t think parents appreciate how much less energy you have in your 60s compared to say your 30s. I certainly didn’t, and definitely owed my mother an apology for what she did for us without complaining. 😁

Isn't it better for him to experience different things in different homes? He is your child and you can decide how to bring him up but I don't think it will hurt him to see that different households do things differently, he will find out soon enough when he goes to nursery and school that other children sometimes watch TV and eat chocolate. Nurseries and schools also use screens.
As a grandparent who has provided care for my grandchildren I let them watch TV and give them treats but that's not all we do. We do crafts, go to the park, play board games, do water play, read etc. but watching TV cuddling up on the sofa is a favourite memory I have with my children when they were young and now with my grandchildren. It doesn't have to be one or the other

@finalstrawb , early on in the thread, listened to people and realised it isn't a big deal. One of the few reasonable Mumsnet OPers!

I understand the need to maintain a sense of control when you are exhausted by a poor sleeper. I had one myself. I tend to think holding on too tightly to 'rules' is a manifestation of tiredness and anxiety. Nothing really makes a difference to their sleep other than the child growing out of that stage. Try to let go a little and let the GPs enjoy their time with your DC.

Don’t do this @finalstrawb , you’ll end up in a situation where people won’t babysit your dc for fear of transgression and recrimination!

You’ll look back on this and be amazed that you requested it, it’s part of how you feel when they’re young, but just let everyone relax and have a nice time.