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AIBU?

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Original poster

SIL getting upset over something I said to my DOG

398 replies

Poitoi · 25/01/2025 23:13

I recently spent a day with SIL, brother and their wedding planner. I am best woman and have quite a lot of responsibilities. It was intense but productive - we actually had a laugh.

Anyway, we went to my parents’ house after the day of planning. Here SIL heard me fussing over my dog who I hadn’t seen at all that day. At some point I said something along the lines of “Oh I missed you. A day without you is a day wasted in my book” to my dog. Obviously over the top and non-serious, I was just being silly with my dog.

Brother has since told me that SIL was really offended by this comment and is hurt. I just find that ridiculous. I told SIL on the way to my parents I had had a lovely time. I think dog people will see I was just being ott. My dog was being all snuggly and excited to see me so I just played into it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Poitoi · 25/01/2025 23:29

But I clearly was enjoying myself throughout the day - laughing, joking etc. And then on the way home expressed exactly that.

OP posts:
TMess · 25/01/2025 23:29

I wouldn’t have said anything but it would put me right off you, I’d feel like you were passively aggressively making a point to me and I hate people who make sly digs like that. I can see you might not have meant it that way but she’s not wrong.

InWalksBarberalla · 25/01/2025 23:29

I think she was being over sensitive but I've also come across people that make passive aggressive comments to their pets so I get where she is coming from. I think reiterate that you had a lovely day and you weren't making a dig.

Arrestedforit · 25/01/2025 23:29

2Rebecca · 25/01/2025 23:28

Your dog won't have understood your words where as your SIL would have so I think your words were really aimed at your SIL.

This

2Rebecca · 25/01/2025 23:28

Your dog won't have understood your words where as your SIL would have so I think your words were really aimed at your SIL.

YeOldeGreyhound · 25/01/2025 23:27

Poitoi · 25/01/2025 23:26

I was just being playful in my eyes. I had such a ott welcome from my dog and i was sort of meeting him at that level by making that equally dramatic /silly throwaway comment. That was the context. Really didn’t connect it with SIL or the day in my mind.

Edited

She overheard a lovely moment between you and your dog, and got her knickers in a twist.

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 25/01/2025 23:27

On the one hand, she could just be being oversensitive, but on the other, it does sound a little like you were making a passive-aggressive comment in her hearing about the day with the wedding planner being a waste of your time.

BarbaraHoward · 25/01/2025 23:26

If I were in your SIL's shoes I would assume you were letting off steam about the day (if you thought I couldn't hear) or making a passive aggressive comment about it directed at me (if you knew I could). I can completely see why she wasn't impressed.

Original poster
Poitoi · 25/01/2025 23:26

I was just being playful in my eyes. I had such a ott welcome from my dog and i was sort of meeting him at that level by making that equally dramatic /silly throwaway comment. That was the context. Really didn’t connect it with SIL or the day in my mind.

OP posts:
marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 25/01/2025 23:25

I think she's over sensitive.

Eenameenadeeka · 25/01/2025 23:24

It sounds like she interpreted it as a passive aggressive comment towards her that you wasted a day. It was an odd thing to say that you wasted your day when the people you spent it with can hear you.

UnicornWorld · 25/01/2025 23:24

My best friend has 3 dogs and I was about to say your SIL is being ridiculous then I pictured that scenario, and no. I can see it.

Lemsipper · 25/01/2025 23:24

its a bit of an odd thing to say given the circumstance. Just apologise and say soz it hadn’t dawned on you how that might had sounded and that’s just a phrase you always say to your dog.

Tootiredmummyof3 · 25/01/2025 23:23

I can see both sides but I do think SIL is being very over sensitive but maybe it's partly nerves about the wedding.
I'd probably apologise just to keep the peace. Say you had a lovely day but just missed your dog.

YeOldeGreyhound · 25/01/2025 23:23

My god, YANBU. Some people are ridiculous about dogs, and your SIL sounds like one of them

category12 · 25/01/2025 23:23

I can see why she might find it a bit hurtful when you'd literally just spent the day with her. It could have come off as pointed and passive aggressive.

Not worth making a big deal out of, of course, but a bit tactless of you.

Gone12 · 25/01/2025 23:22

SIL sounds like trouble and very precious.

takealettermsjones · 25/01/2025 23:22

It was a really weird thing to say tbh! And yes, it was rude - you were saying that you considered the day wasted. 🤨

Overthebow · 25/01/2025 23:22

Well you just said that the day you spent with her was wasted so I can see why she would be upset about this.

ListenDontJudge · 25/01/2025 23:21

I talk nonsense to my dog, but I understand why your sil was hurt. It was an insensitive and rather stupid thing to say about a day you'd spent planning their special day.

iamnotalemon · 25/01/2025 23:20

God they are being sensitive.

No you are not being unreasonable

Zimunya · 25/01/2025 23:19

I’m a dog person, but can see that in this instance your SIL took your comment to mean that the day spent with them wedding planning was wasted. I know what you were saying, but I can also see why she’s hurt.

RealHousewivesOfTaunton · 25/01/2025 23:19

It wasn't the most thoughtful or polite thing to say. I'd just apologise and reiterate that you had a lovely day and enjoyed getting ready for their wedding.

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