WWYD: DD drunk seperated from friends in city centre

What if they aren’t going home? What if they decide to go to someone’s house for a shag?

Exactly this! When I was 21 I was living in Paris. There were a few times I went home with a group of people I’d met to a house party. I had a couple of not exactly one night stands, but nights where I went back to an acquaintances house for sex. Imagine if my mum had been tracking me? Ridiculous.

How does seeing someone safely home curtail their freedom?

I agree with pp, I don't see how tracking will reduce the chance of something bad happening.

Also, what happens if a 21 year old doesn't go home for a legit reason. They meet a group of people and go back for an after party and crash at theirs, they meet someone and go back to their house to have sex, I remember once in the summer after a night in the pub sitting in a park in Birmingham listening to Badly Drawn Boy on little speakers until about 5am. All these things are completely fine things to do and a young adult doesn't want to be calling mum at 2am to tell them they've met someone and is going to be having a one night stand so don't worry if my tracker doesn't say I'm home.

It's mad. Adults are allowed freedom to do as they wish.

I'd put money on it that the son isn't as "perfectly happy" with it as that poster thinks and that it's only a matter of time until he pushes back against it. The lack of agency and the anxiety is obviously generational too seeing as the poster is being tracked by her own mother.

And then what happens when the adult DC says they don't want to be tracked? I doubt a parent who sees tracking as unproblematic is just going to go "okay then" and stop tracking.

If you've raised a 21 year old who is happy to be tracked by her mum on a night out, you've messed up.

At 21 I had moved out 3 years ago and had a full time job. My parents barely knew where I was week to week, let alone which sodding pub I was in.

This. I can't see any justification (dementia and perhaps SEN aside) for tracking a grown adult, especially an adult child.

People do not go missing or killed on nights out "often". It is incredibly rare and the overwhelming of woman are killed by someone they know I can't see any plausible explanations how tracking someone's every move makes them safer. All a tracker does is tell you where a person's phone is, not the person. People lose phones all the time and if something had happened to the OPs daughter, it is more than likely an attacker or abductor would have got rid of the phone. What use would have the OP have been anyway, she was over an hour away?

Tracking someone's movements isn't going to the stop something happening to someone. And if we're talking about comparisons to the boy in Tenerife then I'm not sure how it's a helpful one to make. He still died and it was still weeks before his body was found. The tracker on his phone was about as much use as a chocolate teapot.

All these trackers do is increase a person's anxiety. It's absolutely no wonder we have a generation of such anxious young adults and teenagers. Grown adults having their every movements monitored on a night out under the guise of it being "caring" and that it allows them more freedom when it does the complete opposite. If these people were truly free, they'd be left alone on a night out without being constantly monitored and threats of parents jumping in their to get their adult children despite this not being requested at all by adult children.

We were asked for an opinion, so it kinda became our business in a minor sort of way.

Stop tracking your kids! It's weird and unhealthy. For them and for you. It's. Or more dangerous now than when you were 21.

Your peace of mind doesn't trump someone else's freedom.

I wasn't "just popping to the shops" in those days. I wouldn't bother about that.

I think it's up to individuals to decide between them if they want to do this or not. One pp said her son is perfectly happy with it. That's between them. Nobody else's business.

You really can't see the difference between shouting "Just popping to the shops" and having someone track your every move? Maybe you can't. But for the majority, it really is very different.

I think your daughter needs to stop allowing you to track her location. We cannot protect them from the world forever, her and her friends need to figure out how to cope in these situations. When are you going to consider her old enough to go out without your monitoring? If she'd rung looking for your help that's different.

This thread perfectly showcases the extremes of paranoia that have infiltrated this platform and wider society. Absolute madness. How do people live like this? It’s so unhealthy and inappropriate.

Infantilised? No. When I was much younger (before tracking was available) I often made sure to let people know where I was going to be on a night out and when. I'm not sure this is that much different. This generation just uses the technology all the time. They are brought up with the idea of your life being transparent and of having nothing to hide. Many of my generation hate people knowing what they're doing because they grew up without mobiles/tracking technology etc. I don't think young people are going to be any more or less infantilised than my generation were. It's just a different culture. Trust me, they will grow up just like we did. It will look different to what "growing up" meant to us, but they will grow up. We don't have to be anxious about that.

When that poor boy died on holiday in Spain, the tracking technology was really useful until his phone lost power.

Christ on a bike! When I was 21, I was a student in a different UK country from my family. No one knew where I was or what I was doing (thank goodness!)

DS is 16, and he has an iPhone DH and I are both android, so we could fire up the MacBook and track him, but never have.
He was out Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Texted us to say could he stay out until midnight on Friday (yes) and text last night to say he was walking home at 11pm.

If my mum wanted to track me or me her there would be a heated discussion, lol!

Do you track her on holiday in case you need an emergency flight or the embassy to rescue her?

I can't believe what I'm reading. Never in a million years would I want to be tracked by another adult. Only time I switch on live location is occasionally on the way home from work if I want DH to have a glass of wine ready for me! It's soon switched off again.

Tracking leads to the kind of madness the OP is experiencing. It's not healthy

But don't you grasp how this is teaching young people to stay infantilised and holding them back from growing into genuinely independent adults? Honestly it's grim.

Words fail me 😳

I had left home and was renting my own house three years by this stage. The thought of either of my parents knowing anything about this sort of thing in my life is unthinkable and I used to go out on the lash with my mates all the time.

Scrapes like this are part of life for your average twenty somethings surely.

As I said before it's creepy for you, but not for others. People have to have the freedom to live their lives as they wish. If they want to use the technology in this way then it's nobody else's business. Now, if they are doing it without the consent of other parties - then that is a big no-no.

It is toxic to track your adult DC, it suggests a lack of confidence in their ability to be a competent adult and speaks to an anxiety around letting go of the adult and child dynamic in their relationship. It infantilises the adult DC and shows a general lack of respect towards their decisions/choices - basically, implying that they are not a proper adult and require a 'real' adult to supervise them.

Part of typical parenting is preparing your DC to navigate the world without you and there comes a point where a parent has to let them go and trust that they've done a good enough job in this. When parents can't let go and do bat-shit stuff like tracking their adult DC, it tells me that they lack confidence in the job they've done, that they don't view their DC as real adults, and that they have no respect for their DC as they want to keep them - at least partially - in a child role because they are having difficulty with no longer having authority over them.

It's creepy and weird and it will damage the relationship in the long term.

Total non event and your reaction was ridiculous
At what point do you cut the apron strings ?

OP please delete the tracking app. It's not doing you any good.
Checking every half an hour is intensive and obsessive

Did you go to bed when she got back to the hotel? Because she might have gone back out later. And you wouldn't know because afauk she was safe. Which is the way it would be without tracking. Much less stress

@sjs42 you say young people 'often' go missing and get killed on nights out? How often? What are the stats?