WWYD: DD drunk seperated from friends in city centre

Hey OP ..
Did you stay in a hotel nearby ?for the record , i’d have done exactly that …
She’s After getting herself into a condition ( which by the way can happen to anyone ) you’re worried & feel she may need you & you’re there if she does , so well done you for being a good mom x
Also, to all the PPS who post asshole comments, giving out to you when you’re feeling like crap & worrying about your daughter !!!!!
When someone post’s their worries on this and asks for advice ..
BE NICE !!!!!

😂 good one, you nearly had me for a minute there.

Is this a joke?

Watching from a distance in a very non stand out outfit.

My parents never asked how I got home when I lived with them as a teenager.
They hardly were asking when I was living in another country.

What do you mean, spying?

I'd be spying on her to make sure she's OK.

Looking forward to seeing some of these posters in a few years time on threads with titles like "why has my adult DC gone NC with me?"

She's an adult, it's entirely up to her how much she drinks and when, OP has no business giving her a serious talking to as she is beyond the age of being disciplined by a parent.

There is no need to frighten her into changing her behaviour because, again, she is an adult. She is a woman and not a "girl".

She also doesn't need to buddy-up to go to the toilet.

I think it's ironic trying to tell someone to be street smart yet at the same time telling her to go the toilet with a friend and giving her a serious talking to as a grown adult. The OPs daughter got lost coming out the toilet, she wasn't wandering around Beirut at night time.

Do people really do this with adult children? Seriously talking to over a completely minor incident? If my mum had tried any of that me at 21, I'd have laughed in her face. I can quite imagining it the opposite impact of what was intended.

Friends “minding” would be an unusual reaction. They aren’t the ones being checked up on. They may have been surprised (or this may not be the first time if OP has their numbers). But most people I know would not show surprise or annoyance or the like to a friend’s mother. They would reassure the mother, roll their eyes and then sympathise with their friend.

End of? You can't tell an adult that.

If you are going to give your adult children a serious talking to' for going the wrong way when they come out of a toilet then I don't think you are going to have much of a relationship with them.

Go to the toilet in pairs? How paranoid are you exactly?

If you have a daughter I assume you have told her never to have a boyfriend because statistically she is at more risk with an intimate partner

When will you stop tracking her?

Seriously, when she's 25? 30?

Getting shitfaced and losing your friends is normal

She went the wrong way coming back from the toilet.
The only reason mum knows about it is because she was ringing up to check in on her on her night out.
"Serious talking to" and "telling her to manage her drinking better" - way to make sure she just rolls her eyes and puts her phone on mute/ignores her from then on when out!

You need to back off if she's 21

You will drive yourself mad

Do NOT give an adult a fucking talking to about their drinking and try and "scare them" into being careful
If, by 21, they haven't been taught/made aware of how to keep safe then you've failed

She would be getting a serious talking too.. that if she was that hammered she is losing her friends and not knowing her whereabouts then maybe she shouldn't drink.
If frighten her into realising that there are plenty of weirdos just watching for a girl who is vulnerable.
They need to go to the toilet in pairs.
Never leave each other this only happens because they have drank far too much.
Tell her to start managing her drinking better enjoy herself be street smart and have a limit end of.

Yes! If my mum tried to track me, a 40 year old mum, I'd tell her where to go.

Oh and my parents never asked how I got home, it never occurred to them

Maybe because you lived and worked in another country and it wasn't really any of their business?

There's a world of difference between "if you're stuck on a night out and can't get back/get split up, then give me a call and I'll come collect you (if I can)" and "you got separated from your friends for a few minutes, I only know this because I call you on a night out to check in, and so I'm going to drive 2 hours just to hang around and obsessively watch you on the tracker"

The comments about her being 21, adult and to be left alone are dangerously moronic IMO

What do you mean? That she shouldn't be able to go out of the house without being tracked and her parents nearby in a hotel?

Oh and my parents never asked how I got home, it never occurred to them

I don't ask my adult kid how they got home, not because it doesn't occur to me, of course it does.
I appreciate they're an adult though and why would I ask how they got home whenever they went out?

It’s not middle class parental neglect to not ask your 21 year old adult daughter how she got home. Many 21 year olds live away from home or abroad like you did. I’m surprised you expected that of your parents when you were an adult. They probably presumed you were capable because you were plenty old enough to sort your own lift home. Emergencies are different of course but it’s very standard for adults in their 20s to get taxis home.

Yep.
I lived and worked abroad from 21 years after college.
It is EXACTLY the shit I got up to that makes me worried and I was actually security conscious.

Some MN posters cannot stand parents who care about their children and cherish them.

My childrens safety is a priority.
I picked up all 4 of them NYE when in our city the weather was shite and taxis were Hens teeth.
Why?
Because when I knew they were home and safe, I slept well.
I love my children and didn't want them walking home in pouring rain to make a point.
I will be dead and gone long enough and am happy to be a parent who will text snd say don't walk, I am happy to collect at 3am.
A friend of mine told me years ago of the absolute devastation wrought on her cousin whose daughter was assaulted, pissed walking home from a university party 5 minutes away from where she lived.
Nothing her parents could have done.
But they definitely saw the awful consequences for their child.

If me collecting at 3am reduces the possibility of this while my beyond precious children are out and about enjoying their youth, I'm happy to be a parent that says, call me I'll collect you and your friends and drop you all home.

I'm so grateful to be able to be there for them.

OP, delighted to read she got back safely 🙏.

Oh and my parents never asked how I got home, it never occurred to them.
Middle class parental neglect is not a model I want to emulate thanks.