WWYD: DD drunk seperated from friends in city centre

The majority of people on here are mothers and it's ridiculous to assume because people don't respond in a hysterical fashion they don't have "nothing to worry about". Most people on here probably have plenty to worry about but respond to these situations with rational and calm thinking.

It seems to be one man upship from some posters on here that's unless you're massively anxious and completely smother your children then you're not a "decent and caring parent". When do you let go of your children, are you still going to be monitoring their every move, checking in their every night out and running to their rescue when they are 30, 40?

I really don't get this "different times". Statically things aren't any safer nowadays and in fact I'd go to say there's more things like the ask Angela scheme at pubs, street pastors and people having mobile phones to text their friends that many of us didn't have grown up. And I've managed to survive into my 30s as have millions of others by going out and getting drunk without my mummy needing to come to my help all the time.

The best thing these posters could do is get a grip and help for their own anxiety.

100% agree

Also we all knew in our younger days (sadly clubbing is an “Well I’ll come but only if I can be home for 11pm tops” event these days 🤣) those girls who were monumental PITA on nights out, and I for one would distance myself from going out with them. You can guarantee that OP’s DD is firmly in the PITA category as her mummy calls her mates up!! Also there’s a good chance I’d have been shagging some bloke while some random mum calls me about a mate (I did not always make good choices 😆).

These are your DD’s party years, the fun and flighty time that can only truly be enjoyed at that age. Stop ruining it for them!

Not normal!!

I remember when I was in Uni, I went to one only about an hour from home but got a house share. This was the days where mobile phones weren’t the norm.

I went on a bender with housemates and we had friends back to our house. The night before someone broken the house phone handset so we had no phone until the shops opened and we sobered up and could be arsed going to get one

My mum couldn’t get in touch with us so she drove an hour at 9am on a Sunday morning and saw that our living room window was open. She actually opened the window and stuck her head through to ask if I was ok!! And then got very upset because me and friends were sitting around doing student things like smoking weed in our underwear. I still haven’t forgiven her for the total ridiculous over reaction and invasion into my privacy. She still maintains it was acceptable and rational, and “when your DD doesn’t answer the phone you will see where I’m coming from”. Well I won’t actually because I’m not a freak.

As parents we have to let go at some point and just hope that what happens to 99.9% of people happens to their adult children (ie absolutely nothing). To impose on their privacy well into adulthood because of your own irrational fear is terrible parenting. How did OP even know what happened to her DD?!

Well one PP said that they're 50 and their mother still tracks them...

Not only embarrassing but not setting them up for life. We need to be able to manage situations, even when drunk. If mum and dad jump in every time there is a very minor incident (like this was, literally nothing happened) how will they manage when mum and dad are not there?

Those who think it’s perfectly reasonable to book a hotel in the town your adult child is partying in simply because they momentarily were separated from their mates - are you not worried that you will embarrass your child? Do you not think this is overbearing? At what age do you expect them to begin to not have mummy nearby? Dont you think this is a damaging mindset?

Different times to be fair ..’
look, We are all different,and at the end of day handle situations differently , I guess ..
It’s only all good intentions behind what we say & our actions though ..
To you it’s being OTT , to OP and myself, it’s just making sure they are safe ..
We will have to agree to disagree PP 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's amazing what skills you do have when hammered. My husband and I were talking about this thread this weekend and said how we always made it home, whatever state we got into when we were young.

I was quite concerned the first few replies were actively encouraging her to go. Fueling her anxiety is worse than pointing out she's over reacting and being a tad controlling

And another thing what skills do we have when we are hammered ??? you’re talking rubbish !!!!
with your resilience skills

People of course are entitled to their opinion & sometimes I think people sound so cross on this , there is a way of saying things & giving out to someone who is feeling anxious doesn’t do any good , and OP is a decent caring parent !!!!
Good for you for clearly never feeling worried or anxious over anything 🙄

I think it’s weirder to witness the paranoid anxiety fuelled responses of some people about constant tracking and keeping tabs on grown adults.

If its not called out people think this is normal in their own little bubble, it’s not and it’s doing nobody any good whatsoever to encourage this behaviour.

What condition?

I'm not sure if you read the OPs post but her daughter got lost coming out the toilet and was BRIEFLY seperated from her friends. It in no way warrant a parent booking a hotel to be "on hand". I'd have absolutely died of embarrassment if that was my mother, it would have definitely had a negative impact on our relationship.

This is an open forum. People are quite entitled to tell the OP she is being unreasonable and ridiculous to overreact like this to completely non issue.

And "caring" doesn't mean swooping in to rescue adult children at the smallest inconvenience. A caring and decent parent would have allowed their adult child independence and freedom and installed them with resilience skills.

There are so many mean people who post on MN. I can understand that they may disagree with someone, but I just don't get their whole tone and attitude. It is so weird to witness.

I’d be concerned too. You’re not being unreasonable.

Ah yes
Normal

Why are you even checking in on her on a night out with her friends?! Message to everyone, STOP TRACKING 21 YEAR OLDS and let them grow up! Let them learn from their own mistakes just like we did. Honestly, it blows my mind that people of my generation think this is normal.

Honestly some of you need to have a word with yourselves. I’d die of embarrassment if my mum was so heavily involved in a night out confusion and was calling friends. She’s 21 FFS.

and she probably didn’t go the wrong way she was probably going to meet a boy, as is her right.

No I would not do that. She's 21 and with friends. They've confirmed it. I probably wouldn't keep "checking in" on my 21 year old either.If you were doing that to me at 21 I'd have stopped answering my phone and turned off the tracker!

Leave her alone and turn the tracker off! It's obviously making you anxious.

I don’t think her or your daughter would thank you for that at 21! Her friends would probably never invite her out again knowing that mummy will turn up to take her home or stay close by “just in case”. A few years ago there would have been no phone call or tracking. Adults (which is what she is) went out and got on with it. It’s irrational to be so overprotective. Not everything ends in disaster and you can’t be there 24/7.

Yeah , I know what you are saying , but I suppose OP was worried cause it was still early & if this is what happened already , what way would she be by the end of the night & friends at this stage equally as drunk ..
It is a worry … end of day you’re just afraid something awful could happen to them ….
We can’t help our feelings & wanting to protect our children no matter what age they are …

She briefly lost her friends as she went the wrong way. Then she found them again. That’s it. It doesn’t warrant her mum getting a hotel nearby. She’s 21. Not that young. She’s been an adult 3 years already

Yeah , where she is in a bad condition cause she was drunk
She’s young still , only 21 , her mom is just worried obviously and is afraid something will happen her cause as it was she is taking wrong turns & losing her friends

A condition?