WWYD: DD drunk seperated from friends in city centre

But she didn't tell OP she was lost. OP called her to "check in" (why??) and DD said she was on her way back to her mates. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Presumably you didn't tell your mum you were lost tho. Op has gone too far, granted , but DD could have updated her after she told her she was lost!

I'm gobsmacked some mums think like this, and I am one. When I was 21 I was on my year abroad in France completely by myself. I had a great time. My mum still hasn't a clue what I got up to but it involved dancing on tables at 2am.

If she has a hotel room in the city where she is, and means to get there, and it feels safe for her, then I would tell her to go there and sleep. Everything else can be decided tomorrow.

What is there to decide?

Sorry, she went the wrong way and left the bar. And between all of them they met up again? YABU.

As long as the Golden Rule of No Matter If You Argue You Stay Together And Look After Each Other is adhered to, they'll be fine.

They might want to rein it in a bit though!

Talk about a non event...

THIS .....

my mother had no idea where I was, who I was with or what I was up to when I was 21, you're far too involved to the extreme, let her live her life

I went on a school trip at 17, in a European capital whereby I only knew the words for ‘yes, no and party’. We all decided to sneak out to the club after drinking silly amount of three euro wine. At 4am I decided to leave the club early. However I couldn’t work out how to get a cab so I walked in the general direction that I thought the hotel was in. My phone died and I realised I had no ideas where I was.

6am I strolled into our dorm and lived to tell the tale. Funny enough my mum never knew what mischief I got up to during uni/early twenties.

Surely it’s a right of passage to loose your mates, find some new ones and all meet up again on the dance floor?

She’s 21. If she had lost her mates for 3 hours and she was crying hysterically on a park bench I’d say go bail her out.

Don’t embarrass the poor girl by ruining their fun.

She could have updated op she was OK after telling her she was lost.

She sounds immature and OP sounds overbearing. Not a great combo

Heavens, I was living alone in another country at 21. I liked a drink too. She'll be fine. Really.

Imagine if the daughter also has tracking on her phone for the OP. She’s in the pub on her 14th cider and thinking about her chippy later, and the notification goes off that her Mum is headed in her direction.

You’d die off at that age.

You need to take a step back OP, she's an adult.

Thays what I thought too but OP had rang her daughter who happened to be separated ad the time (why she rang her on a night out I'm not sure). That said the timing seems too convenient, which makes me wonder if OP was tracking a location.

The DD didn't phone OP, the OP only knows about it because she rang her DD to check in.

Are you saying you rang her friend when she didn't answer and are now considering going to the city she is in and staying in a hotel? She will be mortified! Calm down!

This is bonkers. She’s 21 not 12. Leave the poor woman alone

Ah I misunderstood this.

Un this case, I think dd is unreasonable not to text her mum to say 'sorted now all safe'.

But they clearly have a very unhealthy co dependency.

None of this would have happened if OP didn't micromanage her night out.

Who phones their mum to tell them they've gone the wrong direction in a pub?.did dd not think to phone, you know, her friends?

She’s 21 and out with friends. Why are you calling her and tracking her?
I lived alone in Paris when I was 21. I was regularly out with friends until 7am. My parents had no idea what I was doing, because I was an adult.

She’s 21…. Why on Earth are you tracking her and speaking to her friends.

I have a 22yo DS. He doesn't go out drinking often due to his job, but when he does I've no idea where he is (the same as me at that age)
He is an adult with his own life. If I don't hear him come home, I'll always pop my head in his room to check he's there in the morning (he always is, and his girlfriend!)

At least she goes out and sees people!! My son never Socialises or leaves his
room apart from going to college. Can't see him leaving his room at all once he finishes his A levels in June. Oh and thats assuming he completes them at all as his attendance is so erratic. I am at the end of my tether

Or DD has went "oh my god, it's my bloody mother again, she's going to keep ringing..." (or words to that effect) and her friend has volunteered to speak to her on the DDs behalf to reassure her that everything is fine.

If the DD was upset, it would have been in the opening post. If she sounded out of it, it would have been in the opening post. The DD didn't even ring OP so clearly didn't feel a need to reach out to her for help, it was the OP who rang the DD to "check in" and DD just happened to be walking at the time. If OP hadn't rang, she wouldn't have known and there'd be no need for her to have gone DEFCON 1 about it

With kindness, you need to step back. She’s an adult. Let her get on with it. She’s with mates. She’s acting like a foolishly drunk young woman like so many of us before. Tomorrow she’ll have a banging headache, swear to never drink again and promptly forget when the cheap wine is being passed around during the next night out.
Get some sleep.