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AIBU?

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Friend in jail

43 replies

RandomUser1000 · 25/01/2025 20:47

Hi, a friend of mine was sentenced to 3 years in last week. 6 figure fraud. Knew nothing until I found out afterwards. He took me out to dinner the previous week and something was off at the time - understand why now.

I don't understand it. There's no reason for it. Not in need of money - no debt, no addictions, no mental health issues, no stress. It seems so pointless and crazy but he is guilty.

I cannot understand why. Only motive I can think of is greed or arrogance but that's not him. I know him since we were 5.

I know only he knows but any theories?

OP posts:
k1233 · 25/01/2025 23:06

The thrill of doing something he shouldn't. He didn't need the money, he just needed the adrenaline rush of doing something wrong.

Normallynumb · 25/01/2025 22:49

Could he have seen it as playing a game
Obviously he lost

Sockmate123 · 25/01/2025 22:27

Gambling addiction? Being blackmailed by someone? Otherwise just greed! 🤷‍♀️

Coldanddamp · 25/01/2025 22:23

self sabotage

Greyish2025 · 25/01/2025 22:11

RandomUser1000 · 25/01/2025 20:47

Hi, a friend of mine was sentenced to 3 years in last week. 6 figure fraud. Knew nothing until I found out afterwards. He took me out to dinner the previous week and something was off at the time - understand why now.

I don't understand it. There's no reason for it. Not in need of money - no debt, no addictions, no mental health issues, no stress. It seems so pointless and crazy but he is guilty.

I cannot understand why. Only motive I can think of is greed or arrogance but that's not him. I know him since we were 5.

I know only he knows but any theories?

Greed and insecurity I would think, is he a bit of a flash Harry type?

LoserWinner · 25/01/2025 22:01

I had a very dear friend who worked for local government. He believed that system was loaded against people living in poverty, so fiddled the books to advantage them. He didn’t get any personal gain at all, just a sense that he was rebalancing an injustice. He was done for six-figure fraud (pleaded guilty) and spent several years in prison.

RandomUser1000 · 25/01/2025 21:51

I know people have secrets - clearly he did!

I don't want you say too much but definitely no money problems. He repaid everything when caught and his family have found a bank statement which confirms this and shows he could have paid it multiple times over. He is wealthy from inheritance.

I'm terms of addiction, again no signs and nothing in bank statement re gambling or cash withdrawals. I'm know there are probably other accounts evening he dud have a addiction, he could afford one for a lot longer than now.

He has told them he doesn't know why, deserves jail and doesn't want visitors. His siblings are confused as I am.

OP posts:
Spendysis · 25/01/2025 21:36

How do you know they weren't in debt. My dsis is up to her eyes in debt despite having a good job drives a posh car constantly doing up her house and going on holiday nobody knows or believes me that dm has been bailing her out for years she has 3 mortgages on her house loans etc now dm is older dsis has poa after having me removed she's helping herself to dm money now the savings have run she has just done a an equity release mortgage on dm house had her change her will she lies to everyone how she is funding her lifestyle
Yes opg ss are investigating

Snowmanscarf · 25/01/2025 21:27

No debt. Is that because he was defrauding the company (or other companies ) long term?

Maybe he liked the thrill ? Or it was a bit of uponeship on the company or system? Or he saw an opportunity for a quick buck, which possibly spun out of control.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 25/01/2025 21:24

Greed or some financial black hole (gambling, drugs, whatever) - I would ask him. I wouldn't drop the friendship, although I would no longer consider him trustworthy.

mindutopia · 25/01/2025 21:23

Same reason people shoplift probably: for the thrill and to see if they can get away with it. Realistically, you also don’t know he didn’t have any addictions. I’m a recovering addict and absolutely everyone but Dh would be fall over on the floor shocked to hear that.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 25/01/2025 21:21

@RandomUser1000 of course he wouldnt have any debt!!! he has been stealing money by the hundreds of thousands of pounds!!

RickiRaccoon · 25/01/2025 21:10

Everyone's got a little bit of greed. He probably saw an opportunity for money and convinced himself he needed/ deserved it more than whoever he took it from. I also think people choose to present themselves a certain way (and differently to different people/ in different scenarios) so you usually don't know them as well as you think you do.

Wishboneswishes · 25/01/2025 20:55

We don’t really truly know anyone’s darkest secrets apart from our own.
You can’t possibly be 100% sure he had no debt or addictions etc.
Are you going to contact him in jail to offer him any support or to ask him why?

comedycentral · 25/01/2025 20:54

What a shock for you!
Some people just do it because they can and they think they can get away with it.

corlan · 25/01/2025 20:53

I know someone who went to prison for Fraud very well .In his case, it was greed, arrogance and entitlement that led him to do it.
If you don't need the money, what other reasons are there?

Hulahooplaa · 25/01/2025 20:49

For the money.. obviously

Lovelybitofsquirrel3 · 25/01/2025 20:48

Oh wow. Can you tell us more