Overbearing and suffocating boyfriend

I was going to say this too. I have ADHD and I think autism aswell and out of the two of you I would be you OP. I really need my space and when my partner went to his house for a bit each week it was great to unwind on my own and also the same for him.

This sounds utterly exhausting. You really have to break with this cloying, saturating oddball. You need a boyfriend not a weird RoboMinder / surveillance drone hybrid haunting you 24/7/365...

I would rather be single than deal with this.

Maybe one last warning to him op that if it continies, yoi will be ending the relafionship.

You need to decide if this is worth the grief?

The only way it would work is to put some clear boundaries in place. So he can text x times on an evening or call once. He has to give you x amount of time to answer a text. No texts when you are with friends unless an emergency but you will let him know your home safe etc

Why bother.

Can you imagine what it would be like if you lived together ?!!!

You've given it a year, it's not working out. So
it's over.

The danger is when you're well and truly in the relationship and suddenly you're no longer his special interest and you simply get ignored, you no longer matter. So given the current behaviour, refusal to adapt and the potential for it swinging hard the other way I'd be giving this a miss.

I promise you this; cock is not hard to come by. Chuck this one back. Raise the bar for the love of fuck.

OMG I couldn't cope with him. I like my own space and time to myself and him going on all the time would have me running out of the door screaming.

Just reading your opening post made me feel stifled and exhausted. I think you need to throw this one back.

Stop trying to analyze him and look at your own behaviour here.

Why are you putting up with this?
Do you think you can turn him into a satisfactory partner for you? If so, how?
Do you think you owe him all of your time and every ounce of your attention?

This issue sounds more like dependency; people with ADHD need alone time and space to unwind. He dislikes space or distance and doesn't seem to allow you boundaries or privacy. The behaviour is worrying as it sounds like possessiveness. Even if he is being nice while he does it.

Dear lord, why are you still involved in this relationship?

This is as good as it is ever going to get.

Dump him, wish him well, and block him.

Be prepared to report him for stalking and harassment afterwards.

It's that one isn't it " if you loved me you would....." Control territory.

Speaking from experience, you think it'll get better, but it won't. You just hope it will and then you end up X amount of time down the line. Listen to your gut. I should have done. I broke up with him but he still 'hovered' around. I told him to back off, then asked his mum to tell him when he didn't listen. In the end the police pulled him to tell him to back off. I appreciate that sounds scary, but I genuinely just think he didn't realise what his actions meant until I had to go down the official route. Since then I've not heard or seen anything of him.

Bin him. I don't think that's ADHD I think it's love bombing. The silent treatment, how very perfect you are, how he's "worried about you" when you behave in an actual normal fashion.

Everyone loves him, such a good dad. He sounds creepy and dangerous- like stalker 101.
A nice guy, with difficulties controlling impulse wouldn't give you the silent treatment. That's manipulation.

Bin him off. Whose got time to be raising a partner as well as kids.

I'd agree with autistic. DH has just adhd and isn't super agreeing and empathetic nor cares about my feelings as much as id like him too😆in fact he's probably a bit too selfish..
In the earlier days he was very 'obsessed' with me and wanted to know I was safe 24/7 and what's on my mind blah blah but now if I say I need 5 mins break without him hes just like okay whatever. He'd probably prefer to be wrapped around my finger and likes me to be with him all the time but he understands and accepts his needs are different to mine and we have to meet in the middle. He's so sociable and a people person and I'm absolutely not. I love being alone and silence!

If you've tried over and over to explain he's too much and nothings changed then unfortunately id be leaving. I hate feeling smothered and wouldn't be able to cope. If he can't take your needs into account and deal with the fact you need space then I don't think he's the right person for you

My brother has ADHD and autism and is very much like your DP. He doesn't have a girlfriend though so at the ripe age of nearly 30 my poor mums still putting up with his smothering and constant needs😅

It made me uncomfortable just reading about it. It does sound like an intense teenage romance, not something I could endure as a busy adult with children that also need my attention.

I wouldn't care if it was something more. He sounds draining. Can you imagine living with that kind of insecurity and intensity for years? Do yourself a favour and dump him.

Can't think why you are with him . He sounds absolutely awful.

He sounds exhausting 😩 I couldn't live with that and at his stage in life, he's unlikely to change. So I guess you either put up with it...or you don't. For me, it would definitely be the latter.

This fish needs to go back into the sea

Life s too short to put up with this.

My honest advice is that you can either live with it or end it. I have no choice with my (very lovely) child but he is endlessly demanding of my time and attention (nearly 14) and largely only wants to do things with me. It's wonderful in many respects but exhausting. Your partner can't help how he is and is unlikely to change. My ex husband turned into something else entirely and I'm so scarred by it all I'd never go near a man again.

Honestly think hard about it all. He will have amazing qualities but the things that irritate you most won't go away.

My guess would be he has experienced a lot of rejection in his life due to being ND and that has made him hypersensitive and overly empathetic. The constant need to understand how you are feeling, and not having his own opinions about things in case it upsets you, is classic behaviour in people scared of rejection.