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AIBU?

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Original poster

talk me down from being furious!

210 replies

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 13:31

name changed.. but at this point i don't care if anyone knows who i am, i'm that furious at the moment and need talking down. I suffer with anxiety over germs etc.

have just picked up SS's for a road trip to be informed that one of them is off work at the moment with an infectious blood infection, he's admitted that he's probably caught it by not washing his hands properly however assures me that it can only be passed on by consuming his poo!!

he has known that he has this infection for atleast 4 days, he can't remember the name of whatever it is it's called.

AIBU in a couple of things... 1. he could have told me/us before we picked him up so that I could have done my goggling and perhaps been ok with him being in the car, and 2. we are due to have his child next weekend for a sleep over, of which he's been at home with now all week.

i'm so furious right now and not really thinking straight! I have 2 grown up DD's both with serious heart conditions, and 1 is currently pregnant!

AIBU in cancelling the sleep over plans
YANBU?

OP posts:
Mischance · 25/01/2025 14:26

Right - well if he is a sufficient risk to be laid off for the last 4 days then you need to stay away from him and not allow GC to visit.

Rosscameasdoody · 25/01/2025 14:25

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 25/01/2025 13:35

Where on earth in the UK has he contracted Shigella?

Location is irrelevant. Shigella is a form of bacterial dysentery caused by poor hygeine - eg not washing your hands after going to the toilet. You can catch it by putting literally anything in your mouth that has touched infected poo. So by eating or drinking food or water contaminated with the bacteria, or through contact with someone who is sick or has recently been sick with it. It can also be spread sexually by oral-anal contact. In the UK it’s easily treated with antibiotics and takes about a week to resolve. Usually you’re no longer infectious after about three days, or when diarrhoea has resolved.

Original poster
furiousnana · 25/01/2025 14:25

Mischance · 25/01/2025 14:22

If he is a hands-on HCA and he is still in work, then he cannot be that infectious/contagious or he would have been laid off.

If he thinks this is a joke, then he needs his head examining.

I would play safe though as you have vulnerable family members and not allow the sleepover. If SS doesn't like it, then he has only himself to blame.

he is not at work! he informed us he's been off work for 4 days now!

OP posts:
MissMoneyFairy · 25/01/2025 14:24

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 25/01/2025 14:18

I think it’s too far fetched to happen. It doesn’t take six people to hold someone’s arm and surely staff would think to wash their blood stained hands in the unlikely event they had all grabbed this patient.. It’s a wind up, OP.

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Yep, and not obe of them wore gloves apparently.

MissMoneyFairy · 25/01/2025 14:23

Shigella is not blood borne, it's a notifiable illness in the UK, I would expect the ward to be closed if I worked there and strict infection control measures and isolation. Whatever the truth, don't have him or his close contacts near you and tell grandparents he's got a tummy bug, knowingly passing on an illness is unforgiveable, especially to children and the elderly.

Mischance · 25/01/2025 14:22

If he is a hands-on HCA and he is still in work, then he cannot be that infectious/contagious or he would have been laid off.

If he thinks this is a joke, then he needs his head examining.

I would play safe though as you have vulnerable family members and not allow the sleepover. If SS doesn't like it, then he has only himself to blame.

TomatoSandwiches · 25/01/2025 14:21

Honestly this doesn't make any sense, I'd think he's lying about some aspect or what exactly it is.
I wouldn't have the gc over at all until your step son has been " given the all clear " from.whatever he has.

Toastandbutterand · 25/01/2025 14:19

It sounds to me like he's been given antibiotics/other medication as a preventative measure and the hospital are testing the staff who came into contact with infected patient to ensure they don't catch it.

I don't think he's purposely winding you up, just being flippant about something that happens every now and then at work.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 25/01/2025 14:18

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 13:51

he's a HCA? band 3! and i questioned why he was touching someones bloody arm without gloves and he said he wa giving out lunches and someone showed him their arm which was bleeding so he grabbed it to stem the flow and that 6 other staff came to help!

i really am hoping this is a wind up, he has been known to tell tall tales in the past, but surely even this is too far fetched to make up?

Show quote history

I think it’s too far fetched to happen. It doesn’t take six people to hold someone’s arm and surely staff would think to wash their blood stained hands in the unlikely event they had all grabbed this patient.. It’s a wind up, OP.

Original poster
furiousnana · 25/01/2025 14:16

MrsSunshine2b · 25/01/2025 14:13

At nursery they teach them to wash their hands before and after eating and after going outside from as soon as they can walk to the sink, but obviously they help them do it. It's up to you if you have him or not but in your situation I wouldn't miss out on time with my GC, just keep a bottle of antibacterial hand sanitiser on me when out and make sure everyone's hands are scrupulously clean after nappy changes and before preparing food.

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thank you. GC does not currently go to nursery and is not yet walking.

OP posts:
ViaBlue · 25/01/2025 14:14

You are not over-reacting. Don't have the GC, don't put your daughters at risk.

RedHelenB · 25/01/2025 14:14

MrsSunshine2b · 25/01/2025 14:08

Oh right, misunderstood the post. Personally, I'd just supervise him closely to make sure he's washing his hands.

Show quote history

This.

Original poster
furiousnana · 25/01/2025 14:14

MissMoneyFairy · 25/01/2025 14:11

So how did he get it then if it's only passed on by faeces, not blood.

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by his own admission, he says 'he can't have washed his hands properly'.. i asked this question!

OP posts:
Original poster
furiousnana · 25/01/2025 14:13

IWillAlwaysBeinaClubWithYouin1973 · 25/01/2025 14:05

why is everyone arguing about what's wrong with the boy? Why does he have to stay with OP?! I wouldn't like it either, surely other arrangements can be made! Even if he had bloody chickenpox you'd not want him to pass it on and it appears he is an adult so why can't he stay at his usual place of residence until he is better?

adult SS has a day out planned with his dad today, i picked them up and took them to where they need to be and i am supposed to pick up and drop back home. he dropped his bombshell when he got into the car.

we are due to have his son (our GC) at the weekend. it is unknown if GC does or does not have the 'infection' for want of a better term.

given that we are getting on in years, have another younger baby visit the house and a pregnant DD visiting, i just need to know if i am over-reacting in saying NO to the GC's sleepover on this occasion?

OP posts:
MrsSunshine2b · 25/01/2025 14:13

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 14:10

GC is 1 year old.... not sure hand washing is a thing yet!

Show quote history

At nursery they teach them to wash their hands before and after eating and after going outside from as soon as they can walk to the sink, but obviously they help them do it. It's up to you if you have him or not but in your situation I wouldn't miss out on time with my GC, just keep a bottle of antibacterial hand sanitiser on me when out and make sure everyone's hands are scrupulously clean after nappy changes and before preparing food.

MissMoneyFairy · 25/01/2025 14:11

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 13:45

i genuinely don't know! he works at a hospital. says hes on anti-biotics and has to have another test on tuesday? he says the only way it can be spread is if someone touches his poop and doesnt wash their hands properly? i can only go by what he's told us... i've dropped them off where they were going now, and come home to google.

i do have a habit of over-reacting and i know this which is why i need MN to be real with me

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So how did he get it then if it's only passed on by faeces, not blood.

RedHelenB · 25/01/2025 14:11

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 13:42

from work. he is a HCA and said he touched a patients arm to stem bleeding and this is how he got it... he says that 6 other staff are off with it!

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Well then.

Original poster
furiousnana · 25/01/2025 14:10

MrsSunshine2b · 25/01/2025 14:08

Oh right, misunderstood the post. Personally, I'd just supervise him closely to make sure he's washing his hands.

Show quote history

GC is 1 year old.... not sure hand washing is a thing yet!

OP posts:
Pickledpeanuts · 25/01/2025 14:08

MrsSunshine2b · 25/01/2025 14:04

It's your husband's child. You can't just not look after your child because they are sick and you don't like germs. What if his Mum was also a germaphobe?

It doesn't matter if he's the Pope. It's basic manners and common sense to let others know if you have an infectious illness before you go to stay at theirs/get in their car/embark on a road trip.
Her step son should know better.

MissMoneyFairy · 25/01/2025 14:08

It doesn't take 7 staff to stop an arm bleeding, what sort of wound was it, surely the patient would have been in isolation too. We're nine of them wearing gloves either, it sounds really odd. I'd be ringing the ward and asking their advice.

MrsSunshine2b · 25/01/2025 14:08

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 14:06

its my Step Son who is 30 years old! who is apprently ill and we are due to have HIS child for a sleep over at the weekend?

Edited
Show quote history

Oh right, misunderstood the post. Personally, I'd just supervise him closely to make sure he's washing his hands.

Original poster
furiousnana · 25/01/2025 14:06

MrsSunshine2b · 25/01/2025 14:04

It's your husband's child. You can't just not look after your child because they are sick and you don't like germs. What if his Mum was also a germaphobe?

its my Step Son who is 30 years old! who is apprently ill and we are due to have HIS child for a sleep over at the weekend?

OP posts:
IWillAlwaysBeinaClubWithYouin1973 · 25/01/2025 14:06

MrsSunshine2b · 25/01/2025 14:04

It's your husband's child. You can't just not look after your child because they are sick and you don't like germs. What if his Mum was also a germaphobe?

Where is all this going, the person who is sick might be young but he works in the NHS so he can't be a child?!

Ringpeace · 25/01/2025 14:06

MrsSunshine2b · 25/01/2025 14:04

It's your husband's child. You can't just not look after your child because they are sick and you don't like germs. What if his Mum was also a germaphobe?

He's an adult.

IWillAlwaysBeinaClubWithYouin1973 · 25/01/2025 14:05

why is everyone arguing about what's wrong with the boy? Why does he have to stay with OP?! I wouldn't like it either, surely other arrangements can be made! Even if he had bloody chickenpox you'd not want him to pass it on and it appears he is an adult so why can't he stay at his usual place of residence until he is better?

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