talk me down from being furious!

People in healthcare can be quite cavalier about this stuff (I've never had shigella, but I feel like I've had everything else at one point or another) but it's always important to remember that not everyone can just brush off illnesses as "just one of those things". Your SS is very wrong and very selfish to deny you the choice of whether you want to risk exposing yourself and your family to this. Do inform your daughters so they can decide for themselves over the next few weeks.

I can't talk you down because this is horrendous and I would be livid.

He seems to know what he's talking about. I wouldn't worry about it but maybe rethink the sleepover.
Definitely clean your car etc though and apply usual hand washing.

His story really doesn't hang together properly. You don't catch shigella from blood. You catch it from someone with shigella induced diarrhoea generally in suboptimal hygiene conditions. It's pretty rare in the UK in adults, though risk is increased in men who have sex with men. Antibiotics are generally for more severe cases, though may reduce spread. It's a notifiable disease, so if he has it, then he should have been contacted by public health, who would normally make it absolutely fucking clear that this is not something you merrily spread round.

Take him at his word, and ban him from your house until he's 48 hour symptom free and has a negative stool sample, and don't have contact with anyone in his household until both he has had the all clear and they are all symptom free for at least 48 hours. If he's just confused and telling the truth, it's the sensible thing to do. If he's yanking your chain, it serves him right.

I’m not surprised you feel this way, especially because what SS has said makes no sense. Say that you need a written note from his work or dr explaining what he actually has and if/what the risks are to others e.g. vulnerable or pregnant people. If he doesn’t provide this you are not having GC.

Suggest you sit DH down and tell him how you are feeling and why. I think it would help if he knows you want to work on the health anxiety but need his support and to go at a fair pace. If he won’t support you I think sadly you have a bigger problem x

Thanks I'd only heard of it before in relation to dirty water

On the bright side, if the baby doesn't show symptoms of it by next weekend he will be clear.

I can't image wanting to go out with extended family day out with diarrhoea TBH.

So assume he feels fine - but if he's been kept off work then I agree he should be staying in and limiting contact - and I wouldn't blame OP for not wanting her DGC there either if someone in their household is actually ill or there is anyone at risk in her household.

It all sound a bit odd TBH - and I do wonder if they an element of winding someone with a phobia up TBH - but I don't know anyone here and it depends on what this step son is like and the relationship with OP.

What a selfish asshole he is.

I don't think you need taking down. It's incredibly irresponsible to be off work with an infectious disease but carrying on as normal outside work.

If he has diarrhoea and it hasn’t resolved, he could still be infectious. Shigella is a form of bacterial dysentery and it’s highly contagious, and notifiable in the UK. He should be isolating until he’s sure he can’t infect others.

And yes i was very ill!

i had shigella when I was a child (1988 I think) and I was kept in isolation in hospital for a week or so.

Sorry I meant they play in the park not the hospital park!

Very worrying if he works in healthcare and doesn’t wash his hands properly!

Then I agree he shouldn't really be going out at all then.

I wouldn’t have the GC for a sleepover but equally I don’t believe that 6 members of staff were all stupid enough to touch someone’s blood without gloves and then not wash their hands , or that the incident required 6 members of staff . It is just beyond belief .

The Grandchild not actually ill though - are they - and there the one stopping over. If they do get ill I wouldn't want them in my house to further spread it.

With the SS - 30 HCP - sounds like they have had preventative anti biotics and seem well enough to do a day out with their dad. So limited physical contact in car with you and presumably your Dh can wash hands and have good hygiene.

.I can see why you are unhappy - especially with a germ phobia on top - TBH if SS well enough to go out with you why mention it at all - but wonder if actual exposure and risk is low to you and he winding you up a bit.

Shigella can be blood borne in a small number of cases. Up to 7% of people develop bloodstream infections caused by Shigella itself, or by other germs in the gut that get into the bloodstream when Shigella damages intestinal linings. But I agree, it’s notifiable in the UK, so if he has it, it should have been notified and appropriate isolation measures taken given that it’s highly infectious.

Ok this makes sense now. He is clearly becoming Spiderman. Give him time.

Is he off work with potential shigella and being treated as precaution or has he actually got it.
I've never heard of it but going on the replies it sounds like he would be very poorly, not a casual sniffle.
He sounds very blasè about it all whilst you're frantic

This doesn't make sense. Ok so you can catch it through infected blood but that means he must have had an open wound himself because it would have had to enter his own bloodstream to infect him.

DS and DP caught it in Egypt last year. Environmental health called us and we all had to stay off work and school.

I never caught it despite living in the same hotel room and then house with them. I think because I washed my hands properly and maxed out on hand gel.

He should definitely have told you before you went.

OP YANBU m.

I’m sorry OP. I don’t think your DSS is behaving very fairly here, especially if he knows you have anxiety around health and germs and you have vulnerable DDs?

Either he has a very poor grasp of medical concepts and/or didn’t pay attention properly at work to what they said about this infection or it’s a wind-up. The first one is worrying given his profession and unfair on others. If it’s a wind-up that’s frankly cruel and again incredibly worrying given his profession.

I think longer-term, you and DH need to sit down and think about boundaries if you are going to look after the GC e.g. if they are ill they must tell you in advance. Perhaps your DH looks after them or they go to the hospital park.

There is a bit of a wider thing here as it is good to expose yourself to situations that make you a bit uncomfortable in order to overcome your anxiety. Ideally you would work with a professional. There are some reasonably priced ones and you may only need a small number of sessions. There are also some really good books for self help.

Feel free to DM me x