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AIBU?

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Original poster

talk me down from being furious!

210 replies

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 13:31

name changed.. but at this point i don't care if anyone knows who i am, i'm that furious at the moment and need talking down. I suffer with anxiety over germs etc.

have just picked up SS's for a road trip to be informed that one of them is off work at the moment with an infectious blood infection, he's admitted that he's probably caught it by not washing his hands properly however assures me that it can only be passed on by consuming his poo!!

he has known that he has this infection for atleast 4 days, he can't remember the name of whatever it is it's called.

AIBU in a couple of things... 1. he could have told me/us before we picked him up so that I could have done my goggling and perhaps been ok with him being in the car, and 2. we are due to have his child next weekend for a sleep over, of which he's been at home with now all week.

i'm so furious right now and not really thinking straight! I have 2 grown up DD's both with serious heart conditions, and 1 is currently pregnant!

AIBU in cancelling the sleep over plans
YANBU?

OP posts:
Pudmyboy · 25/01/2025 15:51

PonyPatter44 · 25/01/2025 13:35

Is it Hep B? I'm sure that's the poo-driven on (I need refresher training!). Just use normal good hygiene and you will be fine.

Have you had any therapy for your germ anxiety?

Hep A, hep B more blood-borne

Hwi · 25/01/2025 15:36

PonyPatter44 · 25/01/2025 13:35

Is it Hep B? I'm sure that's the poo-driven on (I need refresher training!). Just use normal good hygiene and you will be fine.

Have you had any therapy for your germ anxiety?

This is just priceless - the dirty sod probably has HepB or suchlike and SHE has to be TREATED FOR his dirtiness by having gem anxiety counselling.
I love MN!
I love MN!
I love MN!

PoltergeistsStartLowKey · 25/01/2025 15:35

Do you really want this tale telling loon in your life OP? I think I would be taking a very big swerve of this lads company in the future by seeing this as a tipping point.

Plastictrees · 25/01/2025 15:30

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 13:41

i do not get help with my MH issues, i've been assessed many times whenever i have reached out for help, but sadly my needs are classed as 'too complex' for the NHS to deal with, and i have to go private and at the moment funds do not allow for me to do this.

i'm usually ok with it, I'm not at OCD level, i just have panic attacks and anxiety over new and unknown things.

i just feel on this occasion, my concern is not just my anxiety playing up

Show quote history

Sorry to go off topic a bit, but the NHS should be able to offer you psychological therapy for your anxiety. You may be too ‘complex’ for primary care but certainly not secondary care. I would query this and push for a referral, if you did want any therapy.

Anothernamechane · 25/01/2025 15:27

Ah so this is a “the gays get dysentery” thread.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 25/01/2025 15:23

OP, as to what to do next: I think you need a serious talk with your DH about what you are and are not prepared to do for your SS and his family. If he's taking the piss in various ways, you don't have to offer childcare or lifts. If your DH wants to continue having them at your home, perhaps you should consider going out and leaving it to him?
You could call SS's bluff this time and say you can't babysit in case your GC is carrying a dangerous illness.

Panickingnowhelp · 25/01/2025 15:16

This is scandalous the more you post the more it sounds like an episode of Hollyoaks.

MissMoneyFairy · 25/01/2025 15:15

Why can't they make their own travel arrangements, it's daft to pick them up, he, if this is even real, should be at home, if he's too sick to work with an notifiable illness he shouldn't be going out,

HollyKnight · 25/01/2025 15:15

A baby and no sex life that you just happened to know about too. Nah. Reported.

Original poster
furiousnana · 25/01/2025 15:14

HollyKnight · 25/01/2025 15:11

How do you know so much about his sex life? 😐Thread is taking a weird turn.

because he called his dad in tears a few years ago as the male in question threatened to tell his family if he himself did not do so! trust me thats a whole other thread! his fiance decided to forgive him and hey presto they now have a baby!

i agree, its going down rabbit holes even i did not think possible!

OP posts:
NoCarbsForMe · 25/01/2025 15:12

HollyKnight · 25/01/2025 15:11

How do you know so much about his sex life? 😐Thread is taking a weird turn.

This.

Original poster
furiousnana · 25/01/2025 15:12

whyhere · 25/01/2025 15:02

Ah - that's why his story doesn't make sense, because he hasn't caught this at work, has he?

No judgement about all of that here, but I would cancel the sleepover and thoroughly disinfect your car (and husband!). Neither SS nor any member of his family (or any suspected lovers of any sex!) should come anywhere near your household.

Show quote history

surely not! this is not the first time SS may have tried to pull the wool over our eyes! you have probably gleened, he IS a story teller, and will only tell us information he deems appropriate for us and his needs.

now i am even more confused, and i have to head out now to pick up DH and SS! (Please do not ask where they are or have been, its a bit outing)

i am confident, i can pick them up without being infected with anything, i shall drop SS where we agreed and then i shall head home with DH and he will be sent immediately into the shower and impose a change of clothes on him. all towels will immediately go into the wash, and only then will i sit down and talk to DH about all of this, because this is just not fair!

the more replies, the more i believe on this occasion, i am not over reacting but also do not think i am being given the whole story

OP posts:
NoCarbsForMe · 25/01/2025 15:11

Handwashing is always a thing!

HollyKnight · 25/01/2025 15:11

How do you know so much about his sex life? 😐Thread is taking a weird turn.

Climbinghigher · 25/01/2025 15:11

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 15:08

had sex

Show quote history

Sounds like he hasn’t told you how he actually caught it

dapsnotplimsolls · 25/01/2025 15:10

No to the sleepover. Disinfect the car.

Original poster
furiousnana · 25/01/2025 15:08

ZebedeeDougalFlorence · 25/01/2025 15:00

Sorry...when you say he slept with his male boss, do you mean they just shared a room, or that they had sex?

had sex

OP posts:
YourWildAmberSloth · 25/01/2025 15:07

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 14:36

FFs why does my SS do this to us? My DH will basically take whatever his son has said as gospel! I'll have to sit down with DH and pick apart everything SS has said, DH will brush it off and then an arguement will ensue!

At no point with DH challenge his son! and i'll be left being the bad guy AGAIN!

You have answered your own question OP. SS does this because your DH (and you to an extent) let him. If you want him to change, you both need to change.

whyhere · 25/01/2025 15:02

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 14:59

well... not to throw a spanner in the works, because i have been googling recently, BUT. he's in a straight relationship with his fiance (female). however, a few years ago, for whatever reason, and we still don't know, he found himself sleeping with his male boss on a few occasions?

this did cross my mind? we do know that normal relations have not resumed since birth of GC, but im sure he hasn't had another ?? blip for want of a better word?

and this is not meant to be a drip feed, because i didnt think it relevant until this poster asked.

6 other staff would not be off if this were the case?

Edited

Ah - that's why his story doesn't make sense, because he hasn't caught this at work, has he?

No judgement about all of that here, but I would cancel the sleepover and thoroughly disinfect your car (and husband!). Neither SS nor any member of his family (or any suspected lovers of any sex!) should come anywhere near your household.

pigsDOfly · 25/01/2025 15:02

CorporaINobbyNobbs · 25/01/2025 14:32

i had shigella when I was a child (1988 I think) and I was kept in isolation in hospital for a week or so.

My DD also had shigella as a child, around the same time as you Corporal. It's pretty rare and makes me wonder if you were at the same school.

It was brought back by a member of staff who had been to her home country for a holiday and it ripped through the school; in some cases whole families were hospitalised.

It very nasty so keep well away from him and his child OP, and as pp said disinfect anything he might have touched in your home.

If he has got it he shouldn't be going anywhere and I'm surprised he's want to as surely he'd be very unwell.

ZebedeeDougalFlorence · 25/01/2025 15:00

Sorry...when you say he slept with his male boss, do you mean they just shared a room, or that they had sex?

Original poster
furiousnana · 25/01/2025 14:59

well... not to throw a spanner in the works, because i have been googling recently, BUT. he's in a straight relationship with his fiance (female). however, a few years ago, for whatever reason, and we still don't know, he found himself sleeping with his male boss on a few occasions?

this did cross my mind? we do know that normal relations have not resumed since birth of GC, but im sure he hasn't had another ?? blip for want of a better word?

and this is not meant to be a drip feed, because i didnt think it relevant until this poster asked.

6 other staff would not be off if this were the case?

OP posts:
Emma6cat · 25/01/2025 14:58

Seems very strange and falsified information. A blood infection is Hep and all nhs staff are vaccinated for it. If it’s dysentery or shigella he would be stuck to a toilet. Also a HCA definitely wouldn’t stem blood without gloves on as you would be sacked for doing that (passing germs on both ways). 6 people would not have all contracted a blood infection from stemming a patients blood anyway. He is either not a professional who has basic medical knowledge or he is talking BS. Either way, I wouldn’t be anywhere near him or his child for now.

Faz469 · 25/01/2025 14:54

Is he may or bi? It's on the rise in the UK between gay/bi men.

www.gov.uk/government/news/warning-after-rise-in-extremely-drug-resistant-shigella

MatildaTheCat · 25/01/2025 14:52

Just cancel all the plans. He has a serious illness (according to him) and you have vulnerable people around you. If he truly had dysentery he’d be looking really unwell and he definitely wouldn’t be going on days out or road trips. So call his bluff, tell him you’ve taken medical advice and all plans are cancelled.

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