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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

talk me down from being furious!

210 replies

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 13:31

name changed.. but at this point i don't care if anyone knows who i am, i'm that furious at the moment and need talking down. I suffer with anxiety over germs etc.

have just picked up SS's for a road trip to be informed that one of them is off work at the moment with an infectious blood infection, he's admitted that he's probably caught it by not washing his hands properly however assures me that it can only be passed on by consuming his poo!!

he has known that he has this infection for atleast 4 days, he can't remember the name of whatever it is it's called.

AIBU in a couple of things... 1. he could have told me/us before we picked him up so that I could have done my goggling and perhaps been ok with him being in the car, and 2. we are due to have his child next weekend for a sleep over, of which he's been at home with now all week.

i'm so furious right now and not really thinking straight! I have 2 grown up DD's both with serious heart conditions, and 1 is currently pregnant!

AIBU in cancelling the sleep over plans
YANBU?

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 25/01/2025 17:16

This reply has been deleted

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Agree. You can catch it from oral/anal sex with an infected person - quite how that translates into ‘gays get dysentery’ is beyond me.

NotaRealHousewife · 25/01/2025 17:09

This reply has been deleted

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BlueSilverCats · 25/01/2025 17:08

MrsSunshine2b · 25/01/2025 14:04

It's your husband's child. You can't just not look after your child because they are sick and you don't like germs. What if his Mum was also a germaphobe?

He's a fucking adult!! Going on a road trip, married, with kids of his own. He should be fine.

Original poster
furiousnana · 25/01/2025 17:07

BrendaSmall · 25/01/2025 17:03

The OP said that is even washing a 1 year olds hand a thing, so I said yes it is!

Show quote history

i never said that... i responded too a comment about nursery and said the baby isn't in nursery and not walking so and i can't remember the exact wording, but baby won't be being shown handwashing. i didn't say it wasn't a thing!

OP posts:
Original poster
furiousnana · 25/01/2025 17:05

HollyKnight · 25/01/2025 15:15

A baby and no sex life that you just happened to know about too. Nah. Reported.

i guarantee this is 100% genuine.

OP posts:
Ceecee2422 · 25/01/2025 17:03

This would seriously pss me off too, make him go home, explain how pseed off you are he never informed you and why and cancel the sleepover, self centred so and so……..

BrendaSmall · 25/01/2025 17:03

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 16:59

Who isn't washing their one year old hands???

Show quote history

The OP said that is even washing a 1 year olds hand a thing, so I said yes it is!

Rosscameasdoody · 25/01/2025 17:00

Anothernamechane · 25/01/2025 15:27

Ah so this is a “the gays get dysentery” thread.

Shigella can be spread by oral/anal sex so not just a threat to homosexual people.

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 16:59

BrendaSmall · 25/01/2025 16:21

Of course it is!
Even young children need to have their hands washed before eating!

Your husbands son is telling you rubbish, and he needs reporting for spreading misinformation around

Show quote history

Who isn't washing their one year old hands???

Rosscameasdoody · 25/01/2025 16:58

Blueblell · 25/01/2025 16:04

Is he actually ill? He is out for the day so he is presumably not incapacitated. Is it possible that he is exaggerating and actually he and his co workers were potentially exposed and are awaiting test results?

He should still be isolating until tests are back.

Rosscameasdoody · 25/01/2025 16:55

AD1509 · 25/01/2025 16:40

There’s so much weird with this story. Firstly shigella is a GI tract infection- if it’s reached blood stream levels the patient must have been extremely unwell/ and now he’s apparently cut his arm to an extent everyone has to use their hands to stem the bacterial filled blood pouring out of it……Secondly if you SS contracted it (and it would be in his GI tract) then he would be glued to the toilet not out and about doing whatever it is he has been today.

Shigella can cause bacteria to break though from the gut into the blood stream, or allow other bacteria to do so - it affects around 7% of people in this way. And if SS is four days in, the symptoms would be subsiding by now, so he wouldn’t necessarily be glued to the loo. With antibiotics it takes about a week to recover. It should be noted though that Shigella is a notifiable disease and patients should be isolating until they are not contagious.

Boomer55 · 25/01/2025 16:52

I wouldn’t worry. 🤷‍♀️

KnickerFolder · 25/01/2025 16:50

6 other staff would not be off if this were the case?

They could be if they caught it from him at work through poor hygiene rather than sexual transmission.

Something doesn’t add up with his story. I would guess he is either lying about how he caught it because it is embarrassing or he is telling the truth but didn’t understand the medical advice he was given and is confused about how he was infected ie he is assuming it was from the blood whereas it would be more likely he caught it via the usual mode of faecal-oral transmission.

Differentstarts · 25/01/2025 16:43

MrsSunshine2b · 25/01/2025 14:04

It's your husband's child. You can't just not look after your child because they are sick and you don't like germs. What if his Mum was also a germaphobe?

Then she probably wouldn't of had children. Of course op has every right to not care for this child and it might teach dss the consequences of talking shit.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 25/01/2025 16:40

Hmmmm, tall tales from your SS. I think it's more likely he's been playing away with another male 😱

AD1509 · 25/01/2025 16:40

There’s so much weird with this story. Firstly shigella is a GI tract infection- if it’s reached blood stream levels the patient must have been extremely unwell/ and now he’s apparently cut his arm to an extent everyone has to use their hands to stem the bacterial filled blood pouring out of it……Secondly if you SS contracted it (and it would be in his GI tract) then he would be glued to the toilet not out and about doing whatever it is he has been today.

Ilikeadrink14 · 25/01/2025 16:34

VividBlue · 25/01/2025 16:17

Step son in this case. (Social services in others)

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Thank you! I thought I knew my way around MN but this confused me!

BrendaSmall · 25/01/2025 16:21

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 14:10

GC is 1 year old.... not sure hand washing is a thing yet!

Show quote history

Of course it is!
Even young children need to have their hands washed before eating!

Your husbands son is telling you rubbish, and he needs reporting for spreading misinformation around

VividBlue · 25/01/2025 16:17

Ilikeadrink14 · 25/01/2025 16:15

What is/are SS?

Show quote history

Step son in this case. (Social services in others)

AGovernmentOfLawsNotOfMen · 25/01/2025 16:16

whyhere · 25/01/2025 15:02

Ah - that's why his story doesn't make sense, because he hasn't caught this at work, has he?

No judgement about all of that here, but I would cancel the sleepover and thoroughly disinfect your car (and husband!). Neither SS nor any member of his family (or any suspected lovers of any sex!) should come anywhere near your household.

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Agree with this solution.
Not sure why people would carry on regardless and potentially end up infected , , have to go on antibiotics ( affecting immunity ) and change other plans to avoid infecting others.
Thats such a hassle….just cancel stuff for now OP

Ilikeadrink14 · 25/01/2025 16:15

furiousnana · 25/01/2025 13:31

name changed.. but at this point i don't care if anyone knows who i am, i'm that furious at the moment and need talking down. I suffer with anxiety over germs etc.

have just picked up SS's for a road trip to be informed that one of them is off work at the moment with an infectious blood infection, he's admitted that he's probably caught it by not washing his hands properly however assures me that it can only be passed on by consuming his poo!!

he has known that he has this infection for atleast 4 days, he can't remember the name of whatever it is it's called.

AIBU in a couple of things... 1. he could have told me/us before we picked him up so that I could have done my goggling and perhaps been ok with him being in the car, and 2. we are due to have his child next weekend for a sleep over, of which he's been at home with now all week.

i'm so furious right now and not really thinking straight! I have 2 grown up DD's both with serious heart conditions, and 1 is currently pregnant!

AIBU in cancelling the sleep over plans
YANBU?

What is/are SS?

Blueblell · 25/01/2025 16:04

Is he actually ill? He is out for the day so he is presumably not incapacitated. Is it possible that he is exaggerating and actually he and his co workers were potentially exposed and are awaiting test results?

Owly11 · 25/01/2025 15:57

How can you think you are over reacting? Drop him home and say you're sorry he isn't well enough to join you and that he will have to make other babysitting arrangements for his children as you cannot risk having them either.

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 15:55

Doloresparton · 25/01/2025 15:53

Well as gay men are more likely to have anal sex then it’s cause and effect.

It’s not gay bashing it’s public health information.

Show quote history

It's a mumsnet thread not an NHS waiting room leaflet

Doloresparton · 25/01/2025 15:53

Anothernamechane · 25/01/2025 15:27

Ah so this is a “the gays get dysentery” thread.

Well as gay men are more likely to have anal sex then it’s cause and effect.

It’s not gay bashing it’s public health information.

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