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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dumped by a voice note after 12 months

172 replies

Fayruh · 25/01/2025 12:37

Been in a situationship and he's ended it by voice note after 12 months. I knew it was coming and wanted to stay friends (he has requested this too), but don't think I can because he's not had the decency to say this face to face. AIBU? And how would you communicate this?

OP posts:
poemsandwine · 25/01/2025 12:51

Fayruh · 25/01/2025 12:44

@devastatedagain a situationship would be more like a friendship but with intimacy, less serious than a relationship

Tbh that's why I wouldn't care that much how he did it. I'd text him something to say that he could have at least called you. But I wouldn't block or anything. Maybe because I'm used to FWB. It works until it doesn't anymore. If you no longer wish to be friends (which is fair) just say that if he tries to get in touch about it.

Original poster
Fayruh · 25/01/2025 12:50

@smallsilvercloud I just wanted to be able to talk to him face to face so we could have shut the door and stayed friends. He's not given me the chance.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fayruh · 25/01/2025 12:49

@devastatedagain Yep esentially. Like I've said, I always thought we'd end things on good terms and stay friends. I have a lot of love for him. But I've just lost all respect at the way he's treated me.

OP posts:
TimeForTeaAndG · 25/01/2025 12:49

"Thats not going to work for me". Block.

smallsilvercloud · 25/01/2025 12:48

Any dumping is horrible, I don't think face to face is easier, telephone call or message would be my preference, I hate voice notes they irk me anyway.
Ghosting would of worse, I think you just need to some time to get over it, it will be fine.

Original poster
Fayruh · 25/01/2025 12:47

@BeachHutsAndDeckchairs I love thay quote, silence is deafening...

OP posts:
Chuchoter · 25/01/2025 12:47

Block and move on.

devastatedagain · 25/01/2025 12:46

oh, like a "friends with benefits" type of arrangement?

And now he's asking if you can just be friends? without the sex?

What do YOU want?

Original poster
Fayruh · 25/01/2025 12:46

@BitOutOfPractice 😂😂😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Fayruh · 25/01/2025 12:46

@verycloakanddaggers I appreciate that. This hapenned a couple of days ago so I may indeed leave it for longer and see how I feel. Right now I just feel like I've lost all respect for him

OP posts:
BeachHutsAndDeckchairs · 25/01/2025 12:45

Silence is deafening, as they say. Don't reply, as above, and block him. Cut all ties because a clean break is easier to get over than bitting and batting with attempts at friendship that just feel weird.

BitOutOfPractice · 25/01/2025 12:45

I’d just reply with an emoji and block. Maybe 👍 or 😂

verycloakanddaggers · 25/01/2025 12:44

I wouldn't respond. I wouldn't block. I wouldn't decide anything right now.

He's really upset you. Just focus on looking after yourself.

There's way too much high-speed reacting these days, a bit of quiet is usually the best course. You don't have to have your say or do anything.

Original poster
Fayruh · 25/01/2025 12:44

@devastatedagain a situationship would be more like a friendship but with intimacy, less serious than a relationship

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 25/01/2025 12:42

Mymouseisonfire · 25/01/2025 12:39

I just wouldn’t reply and I would also block them.

Ditto.

Original poster
Fayruh · 25/01/2025 12:42

@RocketNan love that! @PullTheBricksDown I honestly always thought we would stay friends so it's been quite upsetting the way he's gone about things

OP posts:
ItGhoul · 25/01/2025 12:42

I wouldn’t want to stay friends and I would simply say “I don’t want to stay friends any more, so please don’t contact me again.” It needs nothing more than that. In fact, it wouldn’t even need as much as that. I’d probably just block them. No need to over complicate things.

devastatedagain · 25/01/2025 12:41

What exactly is a situationship?

Original poster
Fayruh · 25/01/2025 12:41

@Mymouseisonfire ok, thats an option 😂

OP posts:
PullTheBricksDown · 25/01/2025 12:41

Yeah that. Also the friends thing is unlikely to work and you shouldn't feel obliged to go along with it.

RocketNan · 25/01/2025 12:41

I would reply to say that cowardice is not a trait I value in a friendship so never contact me again. Then block.

Mymouseisonfire · 25/01/2025 12:39

I just wouldn’t reply and I would also block them.

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