to say that I won't do two 60 minute round trips so she can see her friend?

Is the cost actually the issue? Most of your post is about that time rather than the cost. If you genuinely can't afford it then YANBU but if you just can't be bothered, I'd say pretty unreasonable. Friendships are important

Jesus. Never in a million years would my mum have faffed about on my behalf like this. If I wanted to see my friends, I had to make the plan and work out my transport options. A lift to the bus stop or train station was as far as my mum was involved.

If it is just the drive and she isnt asking every week then yabu. She is 12. It's her friend, don't be so mean.

If it is genuinely the cost then that's a different issue and you would not be unreasonable to explain that there isn't money for fuel until after payday and honor to do the run another weekend and budget for it.

I'm glad you've made this work. If you are reluctant to drive though, I do think you need to think about DD using public transport more. I know kids who take the train to school from just turned 11.

I think 30 mins each way is fine but obviously if you can’t afford it then that’s that really. Glad to see it’s resolved anyway.

I get why you nights not use public transport for this for a 12 year old. As a bus user(I don’t drive), a bus journey can take 2 or 3 times longer than a drive door to door plus possibly having to change bus if no direct route and relying on the bus actually turning up. It’s very different for a 12 year old to do that alone on an unfamiliar route compared to getting a bus home from school along with others or getting into a familiar town with friends.

You said when she's older she can get the train so it must be possible?!

OP's earlier post says that the girls could meet half way on the train when they are older, so I'm not sure how OP thinks that would be possible if friend's house is not walkable to the train station.

Although later post suggests that it's not distance that's the factor, but OP's perception of what she's happy for her daughter to do.

You've majored on the time issue and then thrown in the cost issue at the end. The time issue you are being unreasonable and mean about. The cost issue, which I'm not sure is the actual reason, is fine if it's true. If the bus or train are more affordable I'd take her on them.

We live in the middle of nowhere and so did all of the dc's friends when they were young so it's part of the routine in the countryside. If it's the cost, then nothing you can do about it unfortunately.

I wouldn't drop all and do it now, but I'd definately say we could plan a trip. I guess it depends what you do though? I mean to me it would be daughter's choice of a day out. Like do you ever take her to do anything by car? I mean if at the moment work and school are the only things you drive to, fair enough, but if you'd spend money on petrol to go to another family activity, then you could do this. Would meeting somewhere that friend and mum would be able to get to on the bus be possible?

I'd do it but could afford the fuel. I also quite like half an hour to myself in the car with a podcast.

How do the girl's parents live somewhere that has no walking route to public transport if they don't drive? Is this perhaps just your version of walkable, because you can't imagine a 15 min walk?

Isn't this the ideal time to work on that then?

Maybe not today, but get her to catch the train alone and meet you somewhere perhaps, or she could get a train to meet a friend?

I do this a number of times a week just to get my DC to their part time job as we live rurally. I don't consider that a long drive. However, if you can't afford it then you can't afford it.

Drooping off half an hour away is hardly the other side of the world. I would do it for mine and my parents always would have done it for us when we were kids.

If you can't afford the fuel then you could have invited the other girl over, or sent her on the bus/ train. It's sad to read how some parents really don't care about their kids' friendships; friendship is so important to children for their self-esteem, growing social skills and happiness, I'm confused why that wouldn't matter to their parent.

In what way is it not walkable, how far?

No bus?

At 12 I was popping into town, local shops etc with friends

That was fortunate this time.
Great!

I would limit the number of times I'd drive DD in future though..
I would encourage her to make play dates with other friends closer as they are likely to be more sustainable.

I used to do this frequently, dds boyfriend lived about half an hour away so I would drop her and bring her home later. Also used to pick him up and bring him here if those were the plans. Obviously they used to both ask if I was free to do this and sometimes I wasn’t so it was tough crap on them! His mum never drove him anywhere (not my business, never asked why or why not) and buses were infrequent for the route they’d have had to have taken to get to his although they did occasionally do this if dh or I weren’t around.
Dd can drive herself now so my days of taxiing are over but I didn’t really mind it tbh.
However if you can’t afford the fuel then it’s just a straightforward “no, sorry but finances are stretched already and I can’t afford the petrol in the car this month”.

Now is the time to work on that. It is a bit scary as a parent the first time you let them do it, but it’s the first steps to letting her become more independent and building resilience.
My DD is 15 now but has been getting the train by herself since she was your daughters age.

Why is she to young? A NT 12 year old should be able to catch a train by herself.

Yes I would. Friendships are so important at that age and 12 is tricky - so dependent still on parents but with such strong emotions and feelings about the things they want to do.

If you absolutely cannot afford it then it’s obviously a no. But that is not really how I read your post as your question was would others do it. Well if you do not have the money at all then it’s not really a question of would you. I interpret it more as you would rather not do it and the cost is also a factor. In those circumstances; yes I definitely would do it.