How much does your teen cost?

Averages over the year probably:

At 14 (girl): £385 ish

Allowance: £30
Clothes: Prob £30 average, she loves Vinted
Lunches: £20 (takes packed lunches so this is extras)
Sport: £30 membership

£30 kit (average)
£100 (average) events and competitions
£75 petrol to training
Gym membership: £20
Phone: £30
Additional toiletries: £10
Haircuts: £10 (average as only every few months)

At 12 (boy): £175

Allowance: £20
Bus: £30
Lunches: £20, as above
Sport: £20 membership (same sport, doesn't compete yet)
Gym membership: £20
Scout subs: £10
Phone: £10
Haircuts: £15
Clothes: £30

Did it matter to your daughter if she was successful?

I doubt it's crossed her mind. She's goes to ballet because she enjoys it.

Did it matter to your daughter if she was successful?

I don't think anyone who actually engages their brain would think it's all wafting about. It takes immense strength and control to perhaps give the impression of wafting about.

And, given that, what difference does it make if they're successful or not?

How is doing something they love, is good for them, develops great core strength, good posture, they have friends there - pointless? No idea how it's living vicariously through them either - drop them off, and go and do something I enjoy, pick them up. Strange outlook.

Yes I know, I was pointing out to the pp who was being condescending about ballet that isn't all airy-fairy and wafting about on tippy-toes, and that it is actually very physically demanding. That goes for teenage recreational dancers of all sorts, not just ballet.

To be fair, most girls/teens who do ballet lessons won't be as successful as your daughter.

My daughter trained as a professional ballet dancer, and Christ Almighty they are incredibly strong and agile. She could easily take someone out with a kick in the head, no trouble.

DD16 - £50 pocket money , £17 cinema card, £10 mobile sim, £200 psychiatrist, clothes £50, hair £ 50, ad hoc stuff £20

Based on your replies already I didn't think you cared much. It's still there though.

So, privileged blindness? It's really not something I'm going to lose any sleep over.

At 17 she must get a job and you need to hand out less money. She will not learn to budget in this situation.

You can be privileged in one or more ways and also disadvantaged in others. You must realise that.

Being privileged itself isn't the issue, not being aware of it definitely is an issue. If you don't understand that then you have privilege blindness. 😧

Exactly why is it an issue if they are privileged, though?

My teen son costs just as much as my teen daughter, driving lessons aside but that will be equal by the time they’ve both learned. Maybe he even costs more as he needs more frequent haircuts! No way am I paying for nails, eyelashes etc. as they’re in no way essential. More fool the parents who do!

My oldest is 18 and not expensive at all.

Bus money is around £80pcm.
Pocket money £20
Phone £10
They're, maybe, £150 to feed.
Clothes money £100 a year outside of Christmas and birthdays.

It's been like this since they have turned 16, less before then as bus money was not needed.
They shop in charity shops, on Vinted and do clothes swaps with friends. They work part-time around A-levels, though the money is currently ring-fenced for a long school trip they're financing.

Mostly out of necessity, but also as a life lesson, my children have been raised to respect money and save for luxuries. I wouldn't dream of financing false lashes, salon visits, branded trainers or hugely expensive hobbies. All of them have had experience of some hobby stuff (instruments, sports, ballet), but those were cheap, weekly activities, often discounted through school. They buy "stuff" with pocket money or wait for birthdays and Christmas.

So none of mine have ended up costing much.

I guess it's all about priorities. My kids have never had any desire for an expensive phone. They have Samsung Galaxy A13s which work perfectly well with all their apps. None of us in this house have overpriced Apple products. There are other things we'd rather spend on eg me and both teens love theatre so spend much more than is sensible on tickets.

Plus DS 14 constantly loses stuff so no way in hell he would be getting a £1000 phone lol.

MN 'squeezed middle class' mums are too busy to knock up a Sandwich every morning or even the night before. We had to intervene as DS was spending a fortune on snacks/lunch etc. A quick ham & cheese sandwich every morning and we've saved a bundle.
.

£120 tutor
£130 horse riding
£second mortgage on music lessons (junior conservatoire) think it's about £250 a month
£100 lunches
no travel costs as we are in London
£50 clothes, hair accessories etc

Unless people live that life, I think most have no idea how expensive a disabled child is. in fact, it's not so much the cost but the huge loss of earning which just adds up over the years and then we get punished once again at retirement age as we don't have a a private pension fund so being poor carries on. It's such a knock on effect. At least I manage part time hours now but I know once DC finishes school, I will have to care 24/7 and have no income anymore about from the £81 carers allowance per week. I so dread that.