To wish I had a sister

@romdowa I often wonder how parents forge close healthy bonds between their children.

I might be wrong on this but the only cases of siblings who are really close to each other that I've ever met were the ones whose parents intentionally and with a great deal of effort cultivated that sort of relationship between them. Most parents, unfortunately, don't because they are just too busy just raising them. Different personalities and life in general get in the way later too and, to be honest, sometimes having siblings sometimes complicates things more than not having them.

For example, when someone in the family gets ill, there are often lots of arguments about who will do what. When someone dies, there are more arguments about all sorts of arrangements. And even when there are happy occasions such as weddings, anniversaries or just ordinary birthdays, people still manage to argue about this, that and the other!

In fact, I've just realised that I don't really know a single person who has great relationships with siblings!

I can see why you'd feel like that in all honesty.

I have one sister and it's great...we go shopping together, hang out with our kids, go for coffee etc. It is like having a ready made friend.

Haven't spoken to my sister for over 12 years and I couldn't be happier about it, she's a complete bitch and treated me like shit my entire life until I refused to put up with it anymore, you're not missing anything.

I'm really close to my brother. I don't have a sister but every woman I know who has a sister isn't close to their sister. It's nothing to do with gender. I'd say the connection between your mum and her sisters is very rare.

My brother is fantastic. We talk loads, he's very involved and someone I know would always be there if I needed anything. It's down to personality, if he'd been a sister you likely would have the same relationship.
I'm actually glad I don't have a sister as the sister relationships I know seem slightly bitchy/competitive.

My mother also has 6 brothers 🤣 doesn't talk to any of them. They are a deeply dysfunctional family.
I've only one and again lots of dysfunction. I often wonder how parents forge close healthy bonds between their children.

My mother has 2 sisters and one brother and they weren't all that close. One sister and her brother are now gone. Just one sister left and they still not close, so really having a sibling does not guarantee anyone any great relationships.

My mum has 5 sisters and none of them speak to each other. No point wasting time wishing cos that could be you!

I have a sister and we aren't close at all. Barely see each other, barely talk to each other etc.

Be careful what you wish for.

I have one sister who hates me and hasn’t spoke to me for years… just saying. A sister is not a right of passage to friendship.

It's to do with the fact that two of you didn't develop a relationship. Have you ever actually expressed your need to him for support, general interest, going for meals together? I am going to guess no. So it's a communication issue not a gender issue. But if it makes you happy to spend your time wishing for a sister you will never had as opposed to investing this time into building closer relationship with your brother, that option is always available to you too.

I know how you feel.

I just feel like life would be so much better having a sister and I feel sad ill never have one.

I understand how you feel. However observing life in general I can only say that things don't always work out as we imagine. I know too many people, who don't get on with their siblings at all and more often than not it is, for some odd reason, with their sisters. They often say they were at each other's throats all the time or most of the time as kids and now just don't get on that much as adults. Many keep their adult relationships to nothing more than gifts for birthdays and Christmas. Some don't talk at all. Sometimes, you are closer to your neighbours than to your siblings. Having the same parents does not guarantee personalities that would allow you to get on.

I know that this is unlikely to make you feel any less sad about not having a sister but I guess what I am trying to say is that I would encourage you to cultivate the relationships you'd like to have with other people. It is genuinely possible to be closer to your friends than you'd be to your siblings. 🌸

Your brother sounds like my sister.

Cliche as it sounds friends are the family you choose for yourself.

I always wanted a sister too but then I look at my mother and her 6 sisters. She hasn't spoken to a few of them in 30 years.

Having sisters isn't all that great in my experience. Haven't seen or spoken to them for years. My friends are more supportive.

You can have mine. Last time we met she tried to kill my DC.

A lot of childhood trauma on my mums part from being bullied by them. One of my aunts is a certified nutter and awful person, the other one fell out with my mum over money (the usual). Honestly, bio family isn’t always where it’s at imo

My Mum and my aunt have a very rocky relationship. Your relationship with your brother has nothing to do with his gender and everything to do with the fact that you are two different people. Having a sister is no guarantee of anything.

I have a sister and we've not spoken in 2 years. She brought nothing good into my life, just drama, stress and heartache.
The idea of a sister is lovely, and your mum is very lucky. However I bet out of every 3 people you speak to with a sister 1 will have a story like mine.