To wish I had a sister

People always reply to these sorts of posts with stories of bad examples of whatever relationship the OP has expressed a desire to have eg, in this case "lots of sisters don't even talk to each other", "my sister is vile" etc.

Similarly if a poster is thinking of having a 2nd child so their 1st will have a sibling ("my sibling and I hate each other") or a poster wishing to be in a relationship ("look at all the horrible DHs on MN, I would rather be single").

OP, my mum has 5 sisters, she is very close to all of them, they are all 70s/80s and a huge support to each other. Of course there have been fallings out over the years but never anything huge or long lasting.

I have 1 sister, we have been very close for many years, I would be lost without her. We have quite a few cousins, those with sisters are mostly close, we have a 'cousins dinner' once or twice a year and have a whatsapp group.

It's ok to yearn for, and be a bit wistful, about omething you don't have, the response doesn't always have to be "oh, why yearn for that (whatever it may be), it's not all it's cracked up to be!

I think it can also be children who have had very uninvolved parents, that forces the bond to an extent.
Theres obviously a healthy middle ground as thats not good, but I do wonder if sometimes children who are very occupied by parents, not left to play together indecently without parental input enough then don't form as close of a bond.
Me and my brother had very little parental attention as children so spent a lot of time together.

YANBU

I know so many amazing supportive sister relationships that bring so much to each stage if life but especially when older. Also having someone from your family childhood who knows/ shares history and dynamics is amazing.

I don't have a sister but yanbu to feel like you're missing out. I'd like one too. Appreciate some sisters are significantly better than others but yanbu to wish you had the same sort of relationship in your life.

I’ve always wished for a(n older) sister too. I don’t have a close relationship with anyone in my family. A sister probably wouldn’t be any different, but it might have been nice having someone else in the house who wasn’t football mad.

Some things you dont get over

Loneliness is a terrible feeling but having family isn’t a cure on its own .

I don't think your sample size is large enough to draw any firm conclusions. There can be fantastic brothers and awful sisters. I would say though, in general terms, siblings can enrich your life - and more siblings give you more chances of forging supportive bonds. But it can go horribly wrong with clashing personality types and parents who, no doubt unwittingly, stoke the fires of discontent by being easier on a child who is more like them. As has been said already, parents have a crucial role to play in inculcating a sense of fairness and balance in sibling interactions. Too often parental favouritism can prevent good, stable sibling relations developing.

I find it rather strange that your mum's friend who is presumably around 60 expressed her 'deepest desire is to have a sister'.

At 6, my deepest desire was to have a sister.

By 60 I will have got over it.

My MIL had 2 sisters, they all hated each other that much one emigrated to Canada 😂. Individually they were all nice people, was very odd.

Your Mum is probably just really lucky rather than it being the norm.

I feel exactly the same. I have an older brother but we’re not close. Lots of the sisters I know are like best friends as well as sisters. It must be so nice to have that extra support and shoulder to lean on, I feel like the cousin bond is stronger between the children of sisters as well.

That said I do know 2 sisters (my cousins) who hate each other and haven’t spoken in years. I find that really sad.

What's the point of this post.
You can't have one, I would have loved a grandad but they both died before I was born. That's life.
Focus on what you have and your health of course which is Important.

My mother and her sister have a 60 year feud going on. My grandmother and great aunt constantly bickered into their 80"s. Honestly not all sisters are supportive and friendly!

It’s nice to have siblings that you get on well with (I have), but if I wasn’t related to my sisters, I’d never be friends with them. We are so different.

In my life, friends are so much more valuable. I don’t think it’s important in life to be close to your siblings when you’re older. Nice to have, but not essential. Our parents are dead now so there’s less to tie us together.

To me, good friendships are essential and mean so much more. I feel far luckier to have a great bunch of friends than I do to have siblings.

Look harder, OP. Some sisters are close but many are indifferent, envious or hostile.

It doesn’t always work that way, OP. Your mum is lucky.

I feel sad I don’t have a sister (I did but she died when we were little). My brother will always be there if I need him but not socially and he lives in a different country.

you can have mine if you like - absolutely hate her!

I am now quite close to my sister but for about 10 years we hardly spoke. That's because she emigrated to Australia almost 30 years ago and there weren't the communication options then.

Now, I speak to her regularly and WhastsApp her every day, but I haven't physically seen her for over 6 years

I bet a few could say that.

You are hankering after what you cannot have.

It's a lovely fantasy but it's not your reality.

If you are finding life lonely, is there some way you can change this - volunteer/join a sports club/change job if you're remote working.

I actually have a sister and brother who i think are close but they're not close to me. Last time i spoke to my brother he got my husbands name wrong twice, I've only been married almost 30 years...and i only have them for extended family....

It is lonely indeed