To wish I had a sister

My DH has 2 younger brothers and a sister. He is very close to his sister. He's never rude to her and they are good friends. Gender has nothing to do with it.

Your brother is the problem. But also an example of how having a sibling doesn't always work out.

You can have mine. One is a bully and the other a narcissist.

In my family there are 2 sisters that detest each other so much I think they'd hurt one another if they were in the same room.

Very sad but c'est la vie. The grass is always greener etc etc...

Stop yer pity party lovey. There's many worse things to be upset about.

@MatildaTheCat I am so sorry that your dear friend died.
I love my best friend as much if not more than my sister's.
It is a huge loss. 💐

I have a sister but we’re not that close. We see each other relatively frequently at family gatherings or meet ups with our mum but never make the effort just the two of us, or ring each other etc. No reason why particularly, there’s no ‘issue’ and we don’t dislike each other but we’re fairly different personality-wise. If we’d been at school together or work colleagues we wouldn’t have chosen to be friends as we don’t click in that way. The point I’m making is you wouldn’t necessarily be close to a sister if you did have one.

I have a sister and a brother and while I love our shared experience of childhood I am neither really close nor really distant from either of them in adulthood. Friends are important and you should focus on these. Your brother sounds like a fairly typical brother to be honest. I actually find my brother fairly straightforward to have a relatively nice relationship with because of his minimal input in my life and vice versa. Why not ask your brother to go for a drink? Don’t fixate on the impossible.

When people talk about hypothetical siblings, they tend to forget that sibling relationships go both ways. Whether they’re younger or older, sometimes they take more than they give. People always say they want a sibling so they could have more support and the other benefits of a close relationship. That’s only one side of the coin.
The thing with siblings is if their needs are greater than yours as kids, your whole childhood can revolve around that. And as adults they may have worse luck or make worse decisions than you so that there isn’t equal give and take there either. So much of how you get on depends on factors that can’t be controlled.
You’re better off with a good best friend than a sibling imho. You can get a lot of the same benefits without the responsibilities.

MIL has fallen out with her sisters
DM isn't that close to her sisters

In fact...I'm closer to my older brother than the above!

I realise when I said it would be nice to have someone to message it sounds very basic. Im quite naturally shy and socially anxious. I’ve tried really hard in our village to make friends but I’m always on the periphery really. I think people think I’m nice enough but don’t want to be good friends with me. Maybe find me dull. I think that’s the thing with family - there’s none of that awkwardness and even aunties I haven’t seen for a year I just feel at ease with. I don’t worry they find me boring or anything like that. Anyway I’ve always just thought about the joy a sister, or I suppose equally a good best friend, could’ve brought to my life and I think that’s ok.

As much as my 3 sisters drive me crazy at times, I would be lost with them.

None of our children have a sister, some have a brother, others are only children.

I do wish DD had a sister too.

I have friends without sisters and they have good relationships and reach out to do more with friends, sisters can hinder a new friendship.

Like everything there are pros and cons.

I never wanted a sister until my mum died. Now I really wish I had one. My dad and brothers are lovely but it's just not the same. I miss having an adult female family member. I'm lucky I have a wonderful group of friends who are very supportive.

You might have had a sis but she.might have liked football.

You do realise this?

I agree with you op.

I think a lot of posters are being very disingenuous...

Irl I find most people are close to their families and depend on them a lot. It's all very well for people to say friends are better than family, but I find vast majority of people are all consumed with their families leaving little time for friends.

A friend, neighbour or colleague will suffice in this situation.

People are being realistic. It's ridiculous to assume if you had a sister all would be well and good.
You.might had a sister and she died too.

Nobody can magic the op a sister that she wants so best to get over it and on with life.

I'm sure we all have a long lists of wants.

YANBU. I also so wish I had a sister. My Mum has three sisters and they don’t live that close to each other but there is frequent messaging and meets, weekends away etc. I have a brother and it’s completely differently. Especially now I have young children some days I feel so lonely. I message my Mum every day but would love to have a sister for that relationship too. Was thinking even it would be nice to have someone just to message in this storm but I don’t.

I fundamentally disagree. I have no interest in my family, and never see them. I love and value my friends. I am perfectly happy with this situation.

As everyone say, OP, not all sisters get on. But friends can be just as good, if not better. I have known my closest friends for nearly 50 years. Think about your friendships, and maybe you will find the connections you seek.

I have a large extended family but no sisters and no daughters.

I have naturally and all my life placed enormous importance on female friends. In some ways this is great because you don’t have the same dynamics that cause arguments and resentment in family relationships.

My best friend died recently and it has been utterly devastating yet a friend bereavement holds no status in society. If I had lost a sister- even if not close- I think the reaction of others would have been different. Of course my lovely female friends have been a great support but a lot of my family have paid very little attention.

Why don't you stop daydreaming about the impossible and go and find good friends that will fill the void that you are making up in your own head. Your mum is one of the few lucky ones who have a close sisterhood. This is not reality for the majority I'm afraid and you are being very unrealistic by thinking this is the norm. It's not as you can read from others. We can all daydream about what we would love in life be it people ,money, kids etc. your never going to have a sister. Your brother is not doing anything bad, and his disassociation of u is his choice not your fault. You're going to make yourself ill by moping about something u can never change. You need a best friend. Sisters are not always biological.

I know how you feel and there is nothing wrong with feeling the way that you do. I too have always wondered what it would have been like to have had a sister and I am envious of women who have such close bonds with their sisters, to me it looks like having a best friend for life. However I know it's all a fantasy and as I am a naturally competitive person if I had had a sister maybe we wouldn't have got on well or I would feel competitive with her and/or jealous. Who knows! this has helped me with accepting that it just wasn't mean to be and the fantasy is very different from the reality. Also if it helps growing up I always thought it would have been really cool to have had an older brother!

It's the people who have very little family that are the loneliest

That is nonsense. Why do you think family is the answer to your loneliness? If I didn’t have siblings, I’d still have friends. I don’t even know how many cousins I have, it’s easily over 30. I only see 2 of them and the last time was probably 5 years ago. One of my best friends was an only child whose parents were really old when she was born. She has no family other than her husband and kids. She’s not lonely because she has loads of great friends.

I have two sisters and two daughters.
One sister is lovely,one a cow who I finally went NC with.
My daughters are not close at all.

Totally agree