Life as a lawyer

Also, as you become more senior, you should also be trying to add value where possible. I have a 3.5 pqe associate now who is very good at executing what I have told her to do but makes no attempt to add her own points/apply her own mind to what I tell her/pre-empt anything. If I forget something there is no way she will catch it.

Of course you may be doing this already but you might be able to anticipate some of the changes that come as a result of the senior person reflecting if you do the reflecting for them before you hand it in. You can always just do this in square brackets and even if they disagree you look proactive.

I could have written this post OP, I’m in exactly the same position at 4PQE.

I was hanging on for mat pay for the past year, but TTC has taken longer than we’d anticipated.

I’m now actively applying for in-house roles. The pay is as good (if not better) than my current private practice role. I don’t expect excellent mat pay, but we can make do without that. I’ve got to the point where I’ve decided I need to prioritise my wellbeing over potential mat pay.

The Partners I work with are either belittling (blasting my work without giving me the opportunity to explain my approach / thinking, and they often are not across the matter as they are obviously very busy and so miss nuance to cases); or are micro managers who don’t trust me to write a basic two line email without it being reviewed. It is taking its toll on my wellbeing, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this long-term low-level stress is impacting my fertility (I have had irregular periods for the last year).

If you can manage without enhanced mat pay, I’d take a new job and delay TTC for a few months.

No, don’t do this! Your supervisors’ inboxes will be overflowing with emails from clients and the other side already. The last thing they need is emails from you repeating every word of the last discussion you had. By all means keep your own file notes and, of course, clarify anything that you are not clear about to the extent that it will stop you getting started on the task, but you’ll just be seen as someone trying to cover your arse if you endlessly document the instructions.

There has been some fantastic advice on here. I would strongly recommend that you find yourself a real-life mentor to talk to. Does your firm have a scheme?

Do you have any PSLs in your firm? They can be good sounding boards.

OK so (in the nicest possible way), this isn’t a firm problem, it’s a you problem.

And I stress it’s not a problem as such - it is totally reasonable not to enjoy the process and to want a different working environment. Issue for you is how you can reframe things to cope with it while you’re waiting to switch (since you say you don’t want to move until post mat-leave). I do think counselling could help to just mentally reframe how you perceive the process.

With drafting, as has been said, the changes likely reflect a hotch potch of: your instructions weren’t particularly clear/they were clear but strategy has now changed/personal style preferences of the reviewer/you have missed some nuances which is completely to be expected given your seniority. I think just let it wash over where you can and see what you can learn from it. The more you can at least emulate their style the fewer stylistic changes will be made at least.

To be fair I often revisit my own work before sending and change that !

Youve had some good advice on this thread. Do take into account there is no knowing how long TCC will take. Took us a year and my sister 2 years no issues we got there in the end but this timescale could happen.

Ideally hang on in there and use the techniques mentioned above to change your mindset so you minimise upset but if you’re really unhappy it may be some time before a mat leave.

Not all firms are like that. Find a firm with a better culture I promise we are out there!

You’ve had some really good advice @nestaarchy so I won’t repeat it. The only thing I will add is that instead of counselling generally might be worth getting some really focused careers counselling/guidance. There are people who do that for senior professionals and help you really dig in to your values, stressors and preferences and refine your plans. I found it very helpful, though actually didn’t change me job or career as a result, just was able to start thinking differently about some things which mitigated the really painful stuff and allowed me to focus more on what I cared about.

Try a job in Tesco - less stress🤗

Have you asked for feedback from these partners, outside the annual review process? Either they are just dicks (often the case), or there is some mismatch between what you think you're being asked to do and what they actually expect. Lawyers - weirdly - are often not great communicators particularly when it comes to line management.

I'm a litigation partner and I'd be mortified if anyone reporting to me felt as demoralised as you do.

I went in house 8 years ago and have never looked back. Perfect balance of law and home life (kiddies are only little for so long.... they have a happy non stressed mummy!). I just couldn't be doing with the egos, games and presentism at city law firm!
x

I’m an ex-partner in an international firm, now GC - working 9-5 in a female-led global business with a great culture and the pay is the same (mainly because I am virtually guaranteed a decent bonus now). I planned to take mat leave after making partner, but I couldn’t face going back in PP. (Lucky really as DS is disabled). I just quit, and I’ve never looked back. Element of jamminess though in terms of the in-house opportunity popping up at the right time.

In house can be stressful
and the work doesn’t stop and obviously the $$$ is not as good, but at what price sanity. I’m a single parent with two primary school aged children and I could not manage my career if I was in private practice

Hi @nestaarchy I’m a General Counsel, in-house obviously, unusually I’ve never actually
worked in a firm as went in-house as soon as a graduated but I have instructed many a large firm partner, have hired from top tier litigation teams and was married to a private practice lawyer so I feel well qualified to comment 😂

I don’t think your partner’s behaviour is any reflection on the quality of work. Remember firms are first and foremost businesses with billing targets (as you well know). The incessant and inconsistent mark ups 😬 ndycate to me (a) bill padding by your partners - if they mark up your (perfectly good) work, they get to add more time to the file and (b) insecurity on their part. Really a busy litigation partner should not have the time or the inclination to micromanage to this degree. They should have sufficient work and good juniors in their team that they can effectively delegate. They are not doing so which suggests either not enough work in the pipeline or a lack of maturity as a partner. Their focus should be on BD and strategy with a broad overview of work output quality, not pettifogging mark ups.

I have ended relationships with partners on more than one occasion who could not seem to understand that as GC with 20+ experience I am not looking for track changes on my requests for advice but for strategic advice on (for e.g) how the regulator approaches XYZ issue, X judge’s track record on this issue vs Y judge, the risk if we take X path vs Y path. All partners at law firms claim to be commercially savvy and strategic advisors but I have actually found that very few are. Most have got to where there are by billing the shit out of their clients, often by doing the kind of superfluous shit they are doing right now (fiddling with your work unnecessarily) and they can’t seem to pivot once they make partner. And they typically get no coaching on managing a team so are terrible people leaders.

Start applying for in house jobs now!

Another vote for look to move in-house now if you can. You won’t want to be pregnant working in a super stressy environment if you can avoid it. In house is mostly much more collaborative and less critical/competitive.

Agree 100% with this.

I had Baby No 1 at a City Firm in a toxic culture. From being asked to start my mat leave a month later than my due date because the partner had approved a favourites holiday to being told it wasn't fair for others to "pick up the slack" when I was 8 months pregnant, had HG and was throwing up in a bin.
There were partners who called all junior female lawyers "Charlotte" and when someone said "that's not my name" said "I don't care"

Get out now. Move firms.

I went back pregnant after Mat Leave No 1, left at 28 weeks (so was back for 3 months max) with Mat Leave No 2.

I spent every day of my pregnancy being sick with anxiety. I have friends who struggled to conceive, left work and then got pregnant instantly. Stress and anxiety do horrible things to your body.

I'm not a lawyer but was in a similarly high stress City job. It's no exaggeration to say I used to cry on a weekly basis (at least) in the early part of my career. Horrendous hours, unrealistic deadlines and working for ungrateful bellends. It was horrible.

But it does get better, and you will start to feel like you're good at your job. Hang in there.

I used to work for a horrible team of partners in a city firm (magic circle) so left for in-house. Ten years later and I'm actually back to private practice at a smaller city firm after meeting the partners and team and loving them. I think as others have said it really comes down to the team.

Make a game plan for your career and just focus on that. It really helps you ignore the aresholes when you are working towards your own objectives. For you it should be getting as much experience under your belt and raising your profile before you go on mat leave to put you in the best possible position to get a job elsewhere after mat leave!