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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not to like being called posh?

242 replies

Stillwearinggloves · 24/01/2025 14:21

What point is a person trying to make by saying someone else is posh? This comment has been made to me or about me a few times recently by so-called friends. AIBU to think it’s rude and not to like being singled out in this way?

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 24/01/2025 15:05

I was called posh in school for not dropping H’s saying three and not free for 3.

VoodooRajin · 24/01/2025 15:04

If someone mis-classes you, just lean into it

Janedoe82 · 24/01/2025 15:04

I work in a deprived area. I have been called posh several times by service users- but in a way to simply differentiate me from them and with zero malice. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest. They are just making an observation that I sound different and dress differently. Couldn’t get worked up about it.

Bankin · 24/01/2025 15:04

Pomsy · 24/01/2025 14:41

They aren't 'bougie' names though. They're very ordinary names, think Elizabeth and Harry

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My name isnt that shockingly "posh" either it's along the lines of your names, I was actually named after my great grandmother. Alas jealous shits will always find something to make fun of

TheSecondMrsCampbellBlack · 24/01/2025 15:01

BeaAndBen · 24/01/2025 14:46

Except Bunty. And Jonty. And probably Crispin and Eustacie.

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And Arabella and Araminta and Jasper and Tiggy and loads of others!

CynicalSunni · 24/01/2025 14:59

I was once called posh because i said 'yesterday evening' instead of last night.
I am far from posh.
My dad did insist I speak correctly and clearly so I was called posh for that too.

Hazeby · 24/01/2025 14:57

ArcticBells · 24/01/2025 14:50

What is it meant as?

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It’s certainly not a compliment because it’s not unequivocally positive.

Original poster
Stillwearinggloves · 24/01/2025 14:56

BobbyBiscuits · 24/01/2025 14:43

Did someone call you it to your face in an insulting way. As if to say you were snobby, stuck up, elitist, rude, cold, classist?
Or were they just observing it because maybe you have the trappings of success and mannerisms they associate with upper middle class people?

One person said it by reference to an activity I did a long time ago. The other person apparently often says it about me (the first person told me this) but I’m not sure if it’s about anything specific. So not insulting exactly - but I’m just not sure it’s meant in a friendly way.

OP posts:
turkeyboots · 24/01/2025 14:53

I've been called posh a lot in England. For not talking in the local accent, for being "not from here", for being a big reader. So many random things and it was never complementary.
However my family are rural smallholding farmers from the west of Ireland, with education and emigration the only way out for generations. It makes me laugh!

GreylingsSkin · 24/01/2025 14:52

BeaAndBen · 24/01/2025 14:46

Except Bunty. And Jonty. And probably Crispin and Eustacie.

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And certain aristo surnames as first names,
Araminta, Hester and Lettice. All upper class names so ‘posh’ but that word sets my teeth on edge.

BeaAndBen · 24/01/2025 14:51

Pomsy · 24/01/2025 14:43

How do you define posh?

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When I’ve been called posh is was for going to the opera and ballet, the model of DH’s car and because our children don’t have a ‘local’ accent.

The friends I regard as posh went to private and/or boarding school, had regular skiing holidays, a family “place” in Scotland they holidayed in and were related to titled gentry.

Original poster
Stillwearinggloves · 24/01/2025 14:50

BeaAndBen · 24/01/2025 14:42

Why? It’s not rude, is it?

It’s not a bad thing, unless you’re one of those working class hero types who tags their self worth to being a (wo)man of the people.

I’m posh compared to some of my friends and a serf compared to others. It’s not a big deal.

I think it’s rude to make personal comments about things people can do nothing about (assuming it’s the accent here).

OP posts:
ArcticBells · 24/01/2025 14:50

MargaretThursday · 24/01/2025 14:42

It's never meant as a compliment, even if people like to pretend it is.

What is it meant as?

Bankin · 24/01/2025 14:49

Stillwearinggloves · 24/01/2025 14:47

I feel they’re trying to make be out to be different, and it alienates me. I just wanted to have a group of friends and to be myself, without having to worry about judgements being made or that perhaps they don’t really think of me as a friend.

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They're either jealous of you or are just bantering it's hard for us to tell either way please don't let it get you down

CharSiu · 24/01/2025 14:49

I speak very well but am not white so people say it quite frequently, I think they are expecting pigeon English. I find it rather amusing.

Hazeby · 24/01/2025 14:48

I’ve not been called posh but I’ve had comments on the size of my house etc. and it always makes me uncomfortable.

I think it’s because not necessarily a compliment? It’s not completely positive so it makes you feel mildly offended.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 24/01/2025 14:48

From my experience people who are not 'posh' do very much like to be thought of as such. People who are actually posh don't give a hoot.

Original poster
Stillwearinggloves · 24/01/2025 14:47

Macrodatarefiner · 24/01/2025 14:35

Why does it offend you

I feel they’re trying to make be out to be different, and it alienates me. I just wanted to have a group of friends and to be myself, without having to worry about judgements being made or that perhaps they don’t really think of me as a friend.

OP posts:
Bankin · 24/01/2025 14:46

Pomsy · 24/01/2025 14:45

But there is no such thing as a 'posh' name.

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Sure I do agree anyone can name a kid what they like. I'm just saying I was called posh because of my name a lot. It doesn't bother me at all though

LittleRedRidingHoody · 24/01/2025 14:46

MargaretThursday · 24/01/2025 14:42

It's never meant as a compliment, even if people like to pretend it is.

This.

You'd never call someone chavvy, or poor to their face (or hopefully behind their back). Posh has similar, classist negative undertones.

BeaAndBen · 24/01/2025 14:46

Pomsy · 24/01/2025 14:45

But there is no such thing as a 'posh' name.

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Except Bunty. And Jonty. And probably Crispin and Eustacie.

Pomsy · 24/01/2025 14:45

Bankin · 24/01/2025 14:44

I don't really want to say my real name on here haha I've posted way too much personal info on this site. I did get mercilessly teased for having a "posh" name though I still love my name anyway

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But there is no such thing as a 'posh' name.

Bankin · 24/01/2025 14:44

Macrodatarefiner · 24/01/2025 14:41

Hmm whats a bougie name 🤔

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I don't really want to say my real name on here haha I've posted way too much personal info on this site. I did get mercilessly teased for having a "posh" name though I still love my name anyway

Original poster
Stillwearinggloves · 24/01/2025 14:43

I speak well so it’s probably that but I’ve spoken the same way since school. I haven’t seen the friendship group so much recently due to work. The last three times I’ve socialised with them, one or two of them (the same ones) have made this comment. It makes me feel uncomfortable and I do wonder what else they’re saying. I don’t feel I should have to say I’m not - I just think they shouldn’t make the comment!

OP posts:
Pomsy · 24/01/2025 14:43

BeaAndBen · 24/01/2025 14:42

Why? It’s not rude, is it?

It’s not a bad thing, unless you’re one of those working class hero types who tags their self worth to being a (wo)man of the people.

I’m posh compared to some of my friends and a serf compared to others. It’s not a big deal.

How do you define posh?