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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not to like being called posh?

242 replies

Stillwearinggloves · 24/01/2025 14:21

What point is a person trying to make by saying someone else is posh? This comment has been made to me or about me a few times recently by so-called friends. AIBU to think it’s rude and not to like being singled out in this way?

OP posts:
Original poster
Stillwearinggloves · 25/01/2025 19:53

HawkinsTigers · 25/01/2025 18:35

Why would you get worked up about this?

I get called posh a lot because I don’t have a regional accent from where I live and was brought up in a (poor part of a) wealthy area. I’m not remotely posh but if people think I am that’s OK, they’re not insulting me, they’re teasing me about my uniqueness in our social circle

I don’t think I’m worked up about it. I’d just rather they didn’t single me out by using a label that has lots of different connotations and reasons for use. I don’t think that they’re complimenting me. I don’t necessarily think they’re trying to insult me. However they’re definitely saying something when, in my view, if everyone’s friendly, nothing needs to be said at all.

OP posts:
JoyousGreyOrca · 25/01/2025 19:51

BollingenTower · 25/01/2025 19:48

@JoyousGreyOrca sorry, what's the correct answer to 'you're posh', according to you? I'll be waiting. (no swear words 🤗🙏)

You're right about the snobby thing though! If someone says you are posh they really are telling you how rough they are, aren't they?

You see you are still being offensive calling people rough.
You would call me rough with a tinkly laugh of course.

You're posh is simply a way of people saying you are rich. Just say thanks, yes I am.

BollingenTower · 25/01/2025 19:48

@JoyousGreyOrca sorry, what's the correct answer to 'you're posh', according to you? I'll be waiting. (no swear words 🤗🙏)

You're right about the snobby thing though! If someone says you are posh they really are telling you how rough they are, aren't they?

Original poster
Stillwearinggloves · 25/01/2025 19:45

Cynic17 · 25/01/2025 15:42

You should be pleased, OP, because it almost certainly means that you are well-spoken and have good manners. Sadly, your friends are presumably envious that you know how to behave properly, and thus they resort to using this word about you, betraying their own jealousy and downmarket instincts.

If it is because I speak well and have good manners, I would actually prefer them just to say that rather than say I’m posh! At least I’d know what I’m dealing with, and I could just say thanks in response.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stillwearinggloves · 25/01/2025 19:41

Garlicnorth · 25/01/2025 17:18

Really? Are they being nasty about it, or is it more a case of labelling each friend with a characteristic (like the Spice Girls)? That's probably not a great thing, but a lot of friendship groups do it. Posh isn't offensive, is it, more mildly irritating.

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They don’t say it nastily. My issue is that they say it at all. It’s to make a point. I just don’t know what point. I think any of the reasons given by PPs could be the reason. Maybe it’s a mixture of them.

OP posts:
JoyousGreyOrca · 25/01/2025 19:23

BollingenTower · 25/01/2025 19:20

@Penguinsmum 'So the last time one lady said it, I replied well I suppose I am posh compared to you!'
This is very good, thank you! Add a tinkly laugh and we're all set 😁

Yeah why not be a snobby bitch, that will go down well.

BollingenTower · 25/01/2025 19:20

@Penguinsmum 'So the last time one lady said it, I replied well I suppose I am posh compared to you!'
This is very good, thank you! Add a tinkly laugh and we're all set 😁

JoyousGreyOrca · 25/01/2025 19:19

It is posh to me

Briannaco · 25/01/2025 19:03

Illegally18 · 25/01/2025 18:17

That just means they have a lot of money. not necessarily posh.

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Having a lot of money and going to private schools IS posh to a lot of people

HawkinsTigers · 25/01/2025 18:35

Why would you get worked up about this?

I get called posh a lot because I don’t have a regional accent from where I live and was brought up in a (poor part of a) wealthy area. I’m not remotely posh but if people think I am that’s OK, they’re not insulting me, they’re teasing me about my uniqueness in our social circle

maddening · 25/01/2025 18:34

Reverse snobbery is still snobbery

IdaGlossop · 25/01/2025 18:27

BeaAndBen · 24/01/2025 14:46

Except Bunty. And Jonty. And probably Crispin and Eustacie.

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And Arabella and Hubert.

ohyesido · 25/01/2025 18:26

@Rosesgrowonyou I think you misunderstand my comment.

I speak nicely and was labelled posh as a way of putting me down. Surely it's a low class approach, to put someone down for speaking nicely?

JoyousGreyOrca · 25/01/2025 18:22

@Illegally18 You may not think that is posh. Someone like me does

Rosesgrowonyou · 25/01/2025 18:22

ohyesido · 25/01/2025 18:20

I like being described as posh, but for years it was used as a put down by the low class.

Low class? I think you should be described as a snob rather than posh.

Ratri · 25/01/2025 18:22

Briannaco · 25/01/2025 17:31

They are pretty posh. Theyve all gone to private school. I was watching an interview with on of them and he said that he went to school with the Prince of Liechtenstein!

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But private school is by no means reserved for the ‘posh’. If you can pay, you can attend. All the fact that you attended an expensive private (or indeed public) school means is that your parents could afford it, and you met whatever other entry requirements there were, if any. (Or you had a scholarship or whatever, obviously.)

ohyesido · 25/01/2025 18:20

I like being described as posh, but for years it was used as a put down by the low class.

Illegally18 · 25/01/2025 18:17

Briannaco · 25/01/2025 17:31

They are pretty posh. Theyve all gone to private school. I was watching an interview with on of them and he said that he went to school with the Prince of Liechtenstein!

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That just means they have a lot of money. not necessarily posh.

JoyousGreyOrca · 25/01/2025 18:16

I am common and that is far more othering.

blacksax · 25/01/2025 18:14

I'd rather be thought of as posh than common.
😂

Illegally18 · 25/01/2025 18:09

Ratri · 25/01/2025 17:15

Most of them aren’t particularly posh, no, if by posh you mean old money, aristocratic forebears etc.

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I agree. In fact , personally I find them downright common.

Bankin · 25/01/2025 17:38

MarshMallowHeather · 25/01/2025 17:02

I also want to know this 😆

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I'm not going to put my name on here because I've posted too much personal stuff on Mumsnet but think olde English king/queen/princess names and also old granny names. Bougie names are usually long not short too

Funny thing is is I got made fun of for being posh by kids who's families had a lot more money than mine lol. Literally had a free lunch card at school they only give to poor families meanwhile these kids were being sent in with five pound notes every single day.
For the poster who said it's not an insult anything can be an insult if it's meant spitefully especially if they outnumber you

Briannaco · 25/01/2025 17:31

Ratri · 25/01/2025 17:15

Most of them aren’t particularly posh, no, if by posh you mean old money, aristocratic forebears etc.

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They are pretty posh. Theyve all gone to private school. I was watching an interview with on of them and he said that he went to school with the Prince of Liechtenstein!

Garlicnorth · 25/01/2025 17:18

Stillwearinggloves · 24/01/2025 18:51

I think you’re absolutely right about the ‘not really belonging’ feeling it results in.

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Really? Are they being nasty about it, or is it more a case of labelling each friend with a characteristic (like the Spice Girls)? That's probably not a great thing, but a lot of friendship groups do it. Posh isn't offensive, is it, more mildly irritating.

Yatzydog · 25/01/2025 17:18

Yes being called posh is an insult. I had it when I was uni. Very inverse snobbery, by people who knew i was as working class as them. I just spoke normally instead of exaggerating the accent from my rural county (the type of place where you get the whole range from royalty to extreme poverty, and lots of farming).