Not to like being called posh?

Non U is a horrible othering term.

Of course, nobody who IS posh would dream of using the word. Very non-U.

All the super posh I know have nicknames like Bunny or Dizzy

Posh means rich according to the person saying it.

Darling Minty, what would we do without her?

Yeah. I have been called posh (in particular, have been mercilessly teased for being posh in a Sarf London job, a while ago.)

However, my attitude is, I sound posh but I'm not actually posh. I did the 11+ and got a scholarship to a private GPDST girls' school. I learned to speak posh as a defence mechanism. But I never had a pony, or went skiing, or had parents who took cruises to Keenya.

Araminta?

It's not remotely similar. Calling someone a Liverpudlian is a simple statement of fact (assuming they are one!). There's no value judgment, implied or otherwise.

Calling someone posh is a subjective opinion - usually a pejorative one. As we've seen on this thread there's no agreement as to what posh means, it varies from person to person, so it's pretty meaningless as a descriptor.

And if the name caller knows someone has none of these attributes then they’re just using the label to say that someone is pretentious which is mean if it’s a friend.

A parent came in to object about my telling her cherub not to swear, she yelled at me You're trouble is, you're posh! to which my reply as I walked away was Thank you, you're very kind.

@MistressoftheDarkSide Jealousy that you unfairly have something that they don’t - education, exposure, experiences, connections, skills and even (but not necessarily) money.

Yes, exactly. People can get it completely wrong. One of DH’s nasty uncles once called me ‘posh’ in a particularly jeering, unpleasant way when he was giving me a lift home. Imagine his surprise when he saw my humble council house family home, and I introduced him to my binman dad. What I imagine he meant is ‘You’re educated, and I don’t like educated, confident women who don’t defer to me’.

So it's a sort of subtle form of jealousy? Of perceived privilege due to presentation rather than the possible reality of circumstance.

What do people intend when they call someone posh? I think they’re highlighting that you’re different and privileged, not necessarily moneyed, although that may be an element too.
I think there may be some resentment toward ‘posh’ people and the feeling that they don’t deserve the benefits they’ve been bestowed eg fine education, extra curriculars, resulting accents - things that likely do smooth the way to success in life.
Calling people posh may be the passive aggressive expression of this resentment.

It’s not, really. It’s expressing an implicit sense of where the person being addressed sits in the class structure in relation to the person speaking. ‘You’re posh’ means ‘I think you’re above me, and I’m pointing it out for some reason’. Similarly, ‘You’re a chav/prole/common’ means ‘I look down on you from my position, and I’m not going to hide it’. ‘You’re a Liverpudlian/builder/doctor’ doesn’t tell us anything about what the person saying this thinks about that fact.

But why? I genuinely don’t understand, it’s like taking offence because someone comments on you being a Liverpudlian or builder or doctor.

My DD got it a lot at university up north because she was from London. Mainly from mean girls. We are not posh.

Because your comment was dumb and short-sighted!

Probably. I wear "naice" clothes, and a hat usually, have accumulated some good furniture and knick knacks, and like the vintage style, and I'll talk to anybody. But I live in ex council rented accommodation and walk and bus everywhere.

It's all about assumptions in this class driven society isn't it? And we all know what they say about assumptions. I taught my son to confound the stereotypes, so he has a very distinct personal style including dreadlocks and tattoos, and when he speaks to people, particularly the older generation, he confuses them mightily as he's gentle, polite, respectful and helpful. All the world's a stage and all that.

We all note certain markers and make assumptions because we're conditioned to do so, but these days what you see isn't always what you get, and finding that out can be great when you make connections with people through conversation etc. Open mindedness is they key I think.

@MistressoftheDarkSide It is more that you have some of the signifiers that suggest you have money, even though you do not. So people maybe do not believe you when you say you have no money?

Interesting thread. I've also been on the end of the PA "posh" observations due to having a "royal" name, talking proper, doing reasonably well at school and these days dressing relatively eccentrically (vintage Goth on the Stevie Nicks edge)((charity shops,car boots sales, eBay etc)).

Family aspirational but never got beyond slightly bettering ourselves from Nana who went into service at 14. No university high fliers, some college, alot of "creativity" and scant property ownership on my parents end.

It used to grind my gears because I've always been relatively "poor" but people have always assumed otherwise. Currently at my poorest and effectively isolated socially because going for a drink means me or my cats won't eat. And my cats must eat.

Which leads to the side eye and raised eyebrows and the odd comment of "but you seem as if you should have achieved more so what exactly is wrong with you?" (And thereby hangs a tale too long and unbelievable to relate).

These days I can shrug it off, or come back with an arch "Oh darling, I'm classless you know" leaving them pondering which pigeonhole to stuff me in.

But I'm in my 50s now and lack filters, however I have sympathy for the OP because it can rankle, and it did in my younger years. I always felt it suggested I had ideas above my station and thought myself superior, when this is just the me, product of my environment and trying to fit in the best I could. In these divisive times it's irritating when you are "othered" even in jest (allegedly). So OP I hope you can figure out a way to knock it on the head and enjoy your socialising without your alleged poshness being mentioned.

But everyone has an accent. There is no ‘accentless’ speech. The late queen had an sccent.