People overestimate how much children cost on here?

But in reality it is a small fraction of time raising a child.Thats the point. And if you are coughing up £2.5 k a month on nursery fees for 2 kids then must be a high earning family to start with . Many people's wages are lower than that. And if wages are low there s help towards childcare as well as the " free hours"

Are childminder still cheaper than nursery? My eldest was at nursery but sevknd had a childminder. The same childminder who did after school care for eldest ( not nursery age together)

Are you just making things up as you go along?
You went from 2k after rent to 1.5k after rent and childcare, that's quite a gap.
Are you aware that a full time childcare bill is about 1.5-2k per month per child?

For what it's worth our monthly budget after mortgage and childcare is about 1500 for a family of 4, and we are absolutely broke.
Food 500-700, energy 170, other bills 100, council tax 240, train commute 400: BOOM gone!

Our only luxury is weekend activities for the kids twice a month and a holiday once a year, and that's because we don't put anything into savings.

It's child care fees at the beginning that cost. Then you have a few years of breathing space where they are quite cheap to house. Then they hit their teens and clothes and tech costs a fortune. Then it's driving lessons and a car. Then it's university. And that's the basics. If you have dc that are into dance, football, rugby, riding it all costs extra.

I don't think the day to day costs are that much after they hit secondary.
It's childminder/nursery as the biggest direct costs, but also the indirect cost at the hit your career takes. Mine has never recovered. I'm earning much less now than before I got pregnant.

@Gogogo12345 depends on when the birthday is, and that's assuming most people take 12 months mat leave (a lot don't is it's not usually covered by OMP). And obviously there are more costs than nursery 🙄 - my point was that alone makes it a serious financial decision.

Childcare bills have always been high. We had a net figure of well over £30,000 when they were young. Plus everyone online has their kids doing 7 days 24 hrs per day of life-affirming activities.🙄

@Bankin so if I break it down after my rent/childcare when DS was in nursery (2 years ago)

£300 food
£200 Gas/Electric/Water
£200 Council Tax
£300 Commuting Costs (into London 4x a week from a commuter town in the Home Counties)
£150 Car Insurance
£50 Phone/WiFi

= £1,200 BEFORE home insurance/savings/holiday/new car fund/petrol/eating out/buying clothes/any fun money/activities/gifts/birthdays. If there were 2 adults (so 2x commuting costs, slightly higher council tax, phone) it would have been over the £1,500 you're suggesting. Yes it's doable - could've cut all of those things out, used a Foodbank, and prayed my car wouldn't need replacing. But I don't think many people would want to cut back to the point they can't spend any money! So it may technically be 'doable' I think people have a good point that they don't want to sacrifice a basic standard of living in order to have kids!

In London here, our local nursery is over £2k a month. It was still over £1.5k when the 15 free hours at 3 kicked in. With 2 children that’s £3.5k a month. When you add in extras like clothes, weekend classes etc you’re probably looking at easily £4k a month to have 2 children, even if they’re only both in nursery together for a short while. But then there’s after school clubs, hobbies etc. It’s not cheap.

A year on maternity leave and child starts school after 4th birthday is about 3 years. And raising a child is not just the early years of childcare

In that case, they mean they can't afford their lifestyle an ate unwilling to compromise on it.

It's definitely childcare costs that cost when both parents are working. I was able to work part time, plus had GP help, so we only ever used the free hours with no top up payment needed. Apart from childcare you can do a lot of things on the cheap or you can spend, spend, spend. I bought a lot of toys, clothes etc 2nd hand, it's only now mine are almost teens that they're becoming much more expensive, although still not prohibitively so.

If you want dc you'll always find a way to afford them but there will be compromises

we spend at least £400 a month just on food (no takeaways), and we're teetotal vegetarians. You were doing well!

I presume you weren't paying for childcare then. If someone is paying £1.5k a month on nursery, then suddenly their 2k left over is worth about the same as your £400. And that's with just one child.

Depends massively on circumstances surely. I spend roughly that on 2 kids excluding childcare but other people will have way more childcare needs or more expensive hobbies or go on more expensive days out and holidays or need to buy clothes (get mine secondhand from family) or have DC that eat more etc

How are you affording childcare on £500 per month? Was it just that much cheaper back then?

Well those people probably wouldn't be worrying about having a couple of grand left.

Most the threads I see on here about finances and kids are childcare related.

Our nursery bills are £1300 a month...per child...not sure i'd call that small change! Appreciate that's not forever but it is for a good few years and assuming 4 years of childcare per child, with most people having 2, you're talking a £120,000 outlay to get to the point of starting school...not exactly the amount most have in their savings account either!

Obviously it will get better for some as the increased government funded hours offer continues to come, but if you need full time you're still facing a hefty bill each month even with help. I don't think people are being overly dramatic saying it's a serious financial decision to take. Arguably that's quite a responsible attitude!

Hmmm things have changed a lot in 5 years. I can see your point. I had my now 7 year old in 2018 and as a single parent it was financially challenging but I managed.

Skip forwards to now and I have a 9 month old... Costs are totally different. I'm on maternity leave and in the past 3 months we've spent £10k! (We are also mortgage free and no we do not live extravagantly... Think old non finance cars, 1 holiday since baby etc etc).

I agree with you OP - I think until you have kids (especially surprise kids - looking at my surprise son next to me right now) you don't realise you just find a way to make do. Somehow it works, even if you're on the breadline you get help like extra benefits/food banks etc. The majority of posters on here overthink it "I earn 156k and my husband earns 200k and we live in London we can't possibly afford children and I'm 35 now so feel like I've missed the boat" yada yada yada people do overthink it hugely - nursery is just a couple of years of pain (even less than that now with the extra funded hours) and then they're relatively cheap apart from a bit of holiday clubs/food/clothes/few toys and games until they're teenagers then they get expensive again for a bit. I think people over think to the point they miss having children - waiting for exactly the right time and finances when sometimes I do think it's better to be thrown in the deep end almost - especially if you're relatively comfortable anyway.

In 2019 £400 went a long way. Now most of it is eaten up on groceries and electric

DS was adopted at 3 so I never had the eye watering nursery costs.

I think the expenses are high in the beginning - either you pay big nursery fees or you lose income to allow one parent to go part time/SAH to save on nursery fees.

Then it gets loads better - untill they get to teenage/college/uni then they can become a money pit again for a while.