To think that moving to London will "fix me"

I love posts like these that remind me never to leave when I have a little wobble

Oxford?

Do you have kids? Not clear from your OP. I think that makes a big difference to how you'll experience London. I have different thoughts depending on what life stage you're at

Welcome to London

I can only offer my own perspective, it fixed me. 20 years of living somewhere shit for my kids and I was persistently low level depressed and bored. I HATED the small town mentality and there was nothing to do.

The second the last went to uni we moved here (8 years now!) and I have never had one day of low mood. All I can say is that I wish I hadn't lost those 20 years.

Some people are just big city people. I have done 4 'things' in the last week and I reckon I went weeks without leaving the house in the last place.

For some people it isn't 'them', instead it's environmental. For most people reframing and changing perspective helps. Not for me, I just needed to fucking move.

Wimbledon is actually quite a long way out but very nice especially if you are in the village. Clapham has a lot of rich bankers and lawyers depending where you are and some parts are very family focused.

We are in West London (Zone 3) on the Lizzy line so can be in the West End in 15 mins. I work in the City and my commute is around 30 mins.

Even with a decent household income rent for a nice area will be high. Going out is expensive but on the plus side there are great options and public transport is great.

I love London and it would take a lot for me to move away (I have been here over 30 years). I think you should give it a try but be realistic about the costs and that a significant uplift in salary doesn’t necessarily translate into a significant uplift in lifestyle.

Go for it. You won't know until you try and if doesn't work out it sounds like you're young enough to manage the change.

Is it just you though? Are there other people in this mix who do not feel the same way or would be affected by moving in a negative way?

OP is part of a WhatsApp group that she has “met a few times” it’s a bit full on to view these as proper friends and it may lead to disappointment on her behalf.

I’ve several WhatsApp groups for various things, hobbies, baby stuff, school stuff etc. Sometimes we meet up but people have their own core friends.

I think, given your circumstances, you should do it. Being able to work in an office and interact with diverse, interesting people will make a massive difference even if it takes a while to develop a social circle (and it almost certainly will). Are you going to find people who are just like you? No probably not, but you'll find different people who share different aspects of your personality and interests.

Btw what are 'performance sports'?

She does already have friends in London though. And it can be easier for most of us to make friends with people you have something in common with.

Some gifted and likeable people can make friends with absolutely anyone from any background, and some people are terrible at making friends full stop, but most of us are somewhere in the middle and find it easier to get on with people we have a lot on common with. The OP is far more likely to find these people in a big multicultural city, working face to face with people with a similar skillset.

If you can afford London then you should definitely try that. It sounds like you already have more of a social life there the few times a year you go compared to where you live now.

I was also an immigrant living in England and felt much more at home and integrated when I lived in London compared to when I lived in the north. Up north there was nobody else that I knew of that I shared a nationality with but in London there were lots of social groups and events from my home country. There was even food shops and bakeries with food from home. It was a million times easier to live in London. I couldn't move back home due to marriage and kids, but London was the next best thing for sure.

Bluntly your issue is a lack of social circle. London won’t fix that, London won’t automatically give you more friends. In fact it can be easier to be lonely in London than somewhere smaller.

Why on earth would being in London allow you to 'celebrate your dog's birthday'??? Surely you would do that privately, or are you planning to hire out a private room in a club? 😂

London is reasonably busy Tues-Thurs. People go out after work a lot less than they did, but there is some work-related socialising and young people (pre-marriage and kids) still go out.

London is very multi-cultural, international, etc, so if you want more of that then yes, you'll feel more at home. It sounds to me though that your biggest issue is WFH, which can be isolating and if you're an extrovert who values going out and socialising then an in-person job will almost certainly give you more of what you need and miss.

It will really depend where in London you live and what you do for a living.

London is fantastic and can work well if you have a different nationality. DH is North African and has plenty of friends from his home country, can find local food, speak his mother tongue.

However, it is expensive to live here. If you live further out for cost reasons you may find yourself far from the groups you want to mix with and spending a lot of time commuting

Well yes, obviously people drink, but it’s not the same work boozing culture as in the past. All my friends have found the same.

People will still probably be meeting their mates for drinks, and yes having drinks with colleagues. And Thursday is now the ‘big night’ given so many WFH on Fridays.

It does seem very busy this January - dry January obviously less popular than in the past.

Sorry your post is hard to follow.

What part of the uk has “nicer weather” to miss? It’s all pretty shit!

If you don’t feel at home in the UK after 16 years, why would London be any different? Is it similar to where you lived before?

London has its charm but it certainly won’t fix your problems and comes with its own problems

I was thinking that. I don't drink alcohol, so don't usually go inside pubs, but when I walk past pubs in the city any time after late afternoon/early evening, there are always crowds of people standing outside drinking.

If you can afford it, give it a go! Can't be any worse than your current situation. Before kids I did all my socialising through work friends and associated people and it was fun!