What do you remember from your childhood that you now realise you really misunderstood?

when I was growing up conjoined twins were still referred to as ‘Siamese twins.’ I used to wonder why it was that twins from Siam were joined together.

When I was a small child the term 'ceasefire' seemed to be on the news a lot, I thought it meant that people built a big bonfire and then sat around it talking.
It didn't occur to me that it meant 'stop shooting at each other'.
I also thought that in Star Trek there was a place called 'Bowbligo' where no one had been before.

Probably quite a common one but as a small child I couldn't understand how Jesus managed to grow so much between Christmas and Easter.

Same 😂

What do you mean, that your metal spoons have eroded?

Why we didn’t just photocopy money. I thought I’d be sorted as an adult as I’d just buy a photo copier and print myself money. I remember my mum telling me that it was illegal and would go to prison. I was convinced that I could get away with it as i’d do my copying when nobody was home. When I saw my teacher using a guillotine I thought I’d be able to mass produce my fake notes.

Even when I saw the UV light to check notes I’d think of all the places I could use fake notes without the checker.

I was basically a criminal in the maker. I spent years thinking of how I’d live my life as a millionaire with my unlimited money.

That my dad's job was making electricity because if I left the lights on I'd be told "your dad will be working day and night with all the electric used in this house". That calling someone or something "a mare" meant a horse, so was as bad as "bitch", and never being able to understand why some nice adults said it. Similarly, that the phrase "like a tit in a trance" was really really rude and shocking that a lady at church said it all the time!

Great idea for a thread OP loving the replies many remind me of much more innocent times@crackofdoom my father was always going to see a man about a dog. I used to want to go with him to see the dog. He was really going to the pub. When I was older I did go with him. I would sit on the step outside the pub with a bottle of pop and some crisps. I thought it was a treat! As a child my nan and I went into some public toilets. I asked what VD in large capital letters on a poster stood for? She told me it stood for Very Dirty. I believed that until secondary school😂.

Hahaha, that's excellent. I love it.

Ha, that reminds me, probably about aged nine, using the word "twat" correctly in a sentence, thinking it was about the same level an insult as "twit". My DM went quiet and then helpless with laughter, and then when she stopped laughing, explained that it was quite a rude word.

Though I don't know that I knew it actually was slang for something until my late teens, I thought it was just a rude insult.

My mum told us all the exciting things DB would be able to do when he was 2, just before his birthday and said he'd talk more. I was devastated when his birthday came and he couldn't carry a conversation! I thought she'd lied to me 😂

Me too, to make it make sense I thought she must have been moved into a bigger glass container the bigger she got 😆

I thought it was ‘Lord of the Ducks’. I also thought the DLR was the Duckland Light Railway and drew a picture of a duck driving a train.

My grandpa used to feed his toast crumbs to the birds. He said they used to wait in the garden as they’d learned what time he had breakfast. I was… quite old when I realised they were just there anyway

I remember being at my Granny's house (I must have been about 7/8) and asking her, 'what's for tea?' she replied, 'sugar and shite'. When I got home I told my mum and dad are they both started laughing (probably at my innocence and disgust), I didn't understand what was funny about it 😂

I remember thinking until I was about age 8 or so that once you were grown up, say 16 or so, you might just accidentally find yourself having a baby - I asked (quite terrified) how you stop it and why people seemed so cross at young and unmarried mothers, but not receiving much of a reply! Now I realise I had almost hit the nail on the head with these fears and observations, perhaps a sideways glancing blow.

I was also very worried, aged 5 and doing a Nativity play, about how Mary had the baby in the stable, knowing that I was born by caesarean section. My teacher did not enlighten me.

Then from the age of about 8-11 I thought that boys had to wee into you to get you pregnant. Obviously that was disgusting and I would never be doing that. Also an older friend told me about periods and I didn't believe her and also worried that you just constantly bled from your vagina (spelt virginia in my head).

Good job my mum bought me the Usborne Facts of Life book aged 11. Most illuminating. I was always honest with DDs when they asked such things and certainly did not make up stories or bat away their questions.

I once had 2 black eyes within about a month of each other - I was called into the Head Mistresses office to talk about them. It wasn't until years later I realised they thought I was being abused at home. Luckily I was quite proud of getting black eyes playing the woods and I think my general demeanour about it showed they were genuine accidents

I also thought "the black market" was an actual physical market where they sold things like drugs and guns – I remember thinking they did very well to let all the customers know where it was without the police ever finding out!

On the miss pronunciation ones - I remember having a Grand Prix game on my old master system – you can probably imagine how I pronounced that! 😂

This is a bit grim, but I remember believing that dead people were actually encased in the gravestones, I didn't realise they were in the ground underneath. Also thought the hymn was 'I am the Lord of the Dance Settee.'

Not so much a misunderstanding as youthful gullibility: very bizarrely, when I was in primary school aged about 10, my class was once told that the next person to forget their PE kit would have to 'strip off and then go and see the headmaster'. Absolute fabrication to scare us, obviously (and I very much doubt the headmaster - who I have no reason to think was a perv - ever knew our class teacher had said this) but I believed it and became unhealthily fixated on not forgetting my kit for a while.

Imagine kids being told that now, though! This was late 70s.

Football scores "on aggregate". I thought if 2 teams were so well matched they always tied,, then they had to play on gravel. Ot probably didn't help that my dad worked for a quarrying company!

Same 😂

When I was about 10 and had my friend over, we were playing with Playmobil in my bedroom. She started acting out a little story where a Playmobil man kept his wife locked away in her bedroom and raped (although she didn't use that word) her a lot. I remember thinking it was a little strange but nothing more. When I look back it makes me realise she was probably sexually abused herself or had witnessed her mum being abused

It comes from the days when workmen brought their tools to work . If they got fired they were given a sack to put their tools in .

I thought they meant that there were a lot of them, which was odd because side we only saw about five.

That men in the public swimming pool didn't 'accidentally' have their swimming trunks fall down in the pool 🙄

And "Marshal Law" in Poland. I always wondered who this scary individual was. He certainly seemed to own a lot of tanks.