She doesn't speak English - pointless meeting up

It will probably be less awkward than you think op. I assume the rest of your family (apart from your brother) don't speak any of these languages either so you can all have fun trying to make conversation. Try to ask her questions directly with your brother translating rather than just talking to him. Maybe bring a gift like some flowers to welcome her.

Im going to guess you think you are going to feel uncomfortable because they are living a very different life to you and (maybe) you feel a little provincial by comparison?

İf you've never left the UK then you won't realise that many people in France don't know more than a word or two of English. Just because it's taught in schools doesn't mean people can speak it. İt's kinda ironic that you're saying you're 'surprised' she doesn't know English, when you've already said communication isn't a possibility, despite you having learned French at school.

By the way language is only 7 percent of communication. I had a Ukrainian live with me for a few months and we had one of the strongest forms of communication I've experienced, despite only being able to use a couple of words together- we never stopped laughing after a couple of months.

Of course you go and make an effort! My SIL is from South America, it was chicken and duck when we first met but all in good fun!

@User757373 English is always the second language taught in schools across Europe so something in her story doesn't add up.

This is total BS, where I live in Germany, French is the second language. English isn’t taught until later in secondary school. I have plenty of friends that speak no English because they did apprenticeships at 14 and did not continue with academic education. So I’ve learnt German.

My parents don’t speak German, some of my other friends don’t speak German so I have to translate for my DP as he doesn’t speak English. We all manage and it can be fun. OP is YABU.

My own DD speaks and writes 4 languages fluently with C2 in three of them and C1 in the other.

Translator app on your phone? There are some that even translate and change language as you speak.

Sounds like she'll dodge a bullet if you don't.

She speaks three languages, she loves your brother. Learn a few welcoming phrases in one of them and practice using Google translate.

Lol. The world does not revolve around English speakers. And it's actually reasonably common in some European countries to speak a couple of languages well. My partner is German, but grew up bilingual with Finnish. She speaks English to the standard of a native speaker (most don't know she's German) and studied her PhD in English. She grew up on the French Swiss border, so learned French from a young age, and was able to read French texts for her PhD. She knows enough Italian to get about, and Japanese as she lived there for a few months and was into Japanese music for years so made an effort. Most of her school friends spoke French well. Also you are thinking of Europe. It's not commonplace in a lot of Asian countries to learn English.

It is not OP's place yo be questioning someone else's language ability. Even if this lady doesn't want to learn English, so what? She doesn't have to. Brits are awful at making an effort with languages and the majority can only speak English because we just think everyone should learn our tongue.

Also, it's nothing to do with believing her about speaking three languages. Even if she only knew one, this would be very rude. People moan about others moving here and not learning the language, but people here make 0 effort to learn languages at all, so I think it's very rich when coming from your average Brit.

And this attitude is why other cultures think English people are arrogant. I sometimes feel embarrassed to be English!

Surely it's a good opportunity to practice the language that you know from school with her? You could also try some English if she wants to practice.

I see family who don't speak English. I learnt their language as an adult. It's doable for both of you to make an effort.

Why don't you stop assuming things and taking second hand information from your parents and meet this woman with an open mind? It will be good for you to broaden your horizons.

Valid point.

I went to Argentina to meet relatives I never knew I had. I don't speak Spanish, they don't speak English and yet we had a blast. It was hilarious and I fell in love with them. They are amazing people and I'm glad I have them in my life.

Of course YABU she’s becoming part of your family it’s important to make the effort. She’s trying to learn English (not an easy language btw) which shows she’s trying to make an effort with her in-laws.

My German SIL doesn’t speak a word of English and I’ve known her 25 years. She does however speak Dutch because of her husband so we communicate in that language even though I’m very far from fluent.

It was a bit tricky at first I suppose but I felt it was on me really to learn some Dutch. Do you have any French op?

With that background she will understand quite a lot of English even if she doesn't speak. So don't make remarks!

YABU. You’ll never get to know her, and never make her feel welcome, if you won’t open your arms to her while she’s learning.

Go to the meeting, be warm and friendly, rely on your brother and translation apps. Learn some basic phrases in one of her languages so you can use those too. It might be a bit of work but surely it’s worth it for the person your brother loves, and to ensure your relationship gets off to the best possible start?

One day (probably soon as she’s clearly very intelligent and capable with languages) she will be able to speak English, and it will make a big difference to your relationship with her, your brother and any future kids they may have if she remembers that before she learned the language you made an effort and opened your arms to her, rather than turning the cold shoulder because you didn’t think it would be fun enough to meet her.

You are being ridiculous and small minded.

Ok fair enough. That's a very unique situation where it's believable she could be exposed to all three languages. Northern Italy was formerly Austria so it's a weird pocket of both Italian and German. It's still very odd that she doesn't know enough conversational English? Virtually everyone growing up there will have learned some in school.

Spoken German dialects are all quite different, across and within the German speaking countries, although many dialect speakers will also understand and speak standard German. Written German tends to be more standard although not completely. The two state schools where I live teach French and one or two other languages.

You are being very unreasonable, why can't you make an effort, for your brother. use Google translate communicate in broken English/one of the languages she speaks/speak through your brother.
My DS in-laws speak a language we don't, we have met them several times and manage to communicate fairly easily. We feel we know them quite well. It is possible. And you will be going out for a meal so there will be plenty of distractions anyway

@User757373 given that she has loved in France and Northern Italy and has a German speaking dad it's not hard to imagine she speaks 3 languages. I'm not sure anyone has actually claimed she is trilingual.

It's also easy to see why English isn't one of them.

I speak 3 languages well enough to spend an evening in each, read books comfortably and watch TV, listen to the radio. I don't claim to be trilingual.

Why don't you try learning one of her languages rather than judging for not being in a rush with English when she already knows 3 others?

My wife is German. Her mum lives in Germany, but is native Finnish. I speak neither (well I've learned some German now!). My wife translates and it's fine. A little odd but fine once you're used to it.

You're obviously being unreasonable here.